Finally getting some justice for childhood abuse ...

[Cass]

I've been thinking about posting this for a while, and never really quite worked up the courage to do it due to it's very personal nature.

Most of my posts here lately have been humorous and light-hearted (and they will continue to be), but that's not necessarily a reflection of how I feel or what's been going on in my life.

Members here have always been incredibly supportive from the first time I posted back in July, and many are aware of some of my personal background and family history. With a lot of encouragement and support from some RP members, I finally reported two instances of childhood abuse this January. Both cases involve my mom's former boyfriends, one relating to sexual abuse and the other primarily physical abuse. My Dad came from Germany and went to the police with me, which helped a lot, but it probably was harder on him than on me.

Tomorrow I will be going to court for the physical abuse case. The guy was initially charged with a felony, but they offered him a plea bargain and he will be pleading guilty to a misdemeanor. It seems a bit lenient to me, but there are statute of limitations issues complicating things, and it's better than him getting away with what he did. I don't have to be present in court tomorrow, but finally decided to go...unless I change my mind again... It will be difficult to see him again, but hopefully it will help me get some sort of closure.

The other guy was charged with several felonies and they are still working out a plea bargain where he will likely plead guilty to one charge and be offered a set prison term. From what I understand it's still up to the judge to ultimately decide the sentence, but that's a different story...

Anyway, I just wanted to let my friends here at RP know that your support is appreciated. Truth be told, if I hadn't found this site, I probably never would have taken these steps.

Thank you!

[retdetsgt]

Cool. Glad your Dad helped you out with it and at least some justice was served.

Is that going to help you put it behind you, seriously?

[Silver Fox]

Congratulations!!! You're a brave girl Cass, who has made a very wise decision...God bless.

[4goods]

Wow Cass,

that's some serious life events. My toughts and prayers are with you.

Remain strong,
4

[locokarma]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Cass!

[S-99]

Cassie, I'm glad to hear it. (If you would like some additional support or want to talk it through, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 800-656-HOPE.) I'd rather see you talk to a hotline confidentially, than here on the web, where everything is out there forever.

[S-99]

P.S. - Great to hear that your father is helping.

[Creeker]

Way to go, Cassie.

I hope that you decided to go, if for no other reason, so that the scum would have to face you and so the Judge can put a face on the Victim. You should be fearsome in your innocence.

I am also very happy to hear that your Dad is taking an active role in your life and hope that you can maintain contact with your new family.

I'm sure you know by now that you have our support around here, even if it is sometimes a bit delayed in response. ;)

[Cass]

Thanks for the sweet words, guys.

I did end up going to court. I was afraid I'd feel like choking the guy, but I didn't get emotional at all when I saw him. It was kind of strange.

The prosecutor asked for 90 days as part of the plea bargain, and the judge gave him six months, so that's a bit of satisfaction. It's just a shame they don't allow judicial corporal punishment because I would love to see him get just once what he used to do to me (almost) daily for months.

The other guy's hearing is this Friday, so I'll see what happens with that.

[Cass]

Cool. Glad your Dad helped you out with it and at least some justice was served.

Is that going to help you put it behind you, seriously?

No, it won't.

However, a good friend mentioned that this was my only chance to actually see the justice system work and see an actual sentence handed down, and that if I didn't go I might regret it later on.

I went, I saw, and I'm glad it's over with.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Too bad the court can't be Judge Judy and executioner.

Please see my avatar for further details.

Get some, Cass!!!!!

[Cass]

Cassie, I'm glad to hear it. (If you would like some additional support or want to talk it through, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 800-656-HOPE.) I'd rather see you talk to a hotline confidentially, than here on the web, where everything is out there forever.

I hear you. Maybe I'll regret posting this later on, but I can still delete it if I wanted to. I figure if someone really wants to hold this against me, then screw them.

Thank you for your concern though. I programmed that number into my cell phone (along with some other hotlines), but I've also (finally) started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago...

[Cass]

Way to go, Cassie.

I hope that you decided to go, if for no other reason, so that the scum would have to face you and so the Judge can put a face on the Victim. You should be fearsome in your innocence.

I am also very happy to hear that your Dad is taking an active role in your life and hope that you can maintain contact with your new family.

I'm sure you know by now that you have our support around here, even if it is sometimes a bit delayed in response. ;)

Thanks, Creeker.

Yeah, my Dad's been great and I've been keeping in touch with my family. I talk to my Dad, half-sisters and step-mom on the phone once in a while. We also email and I sometimes do the messenger thing with my 12-yo sister. Dad's not too much into technology.

I also met some of their family in PA when they all came for a visit from Germany, so I've got "grand-parents" not too far from where I live. I haven't been back to see them (too damn busy with work and school), but they said I'm always welcome, so that's nice.

It still amazes me that my Dad is such a great person. With all the a-holes in the world, what were the chances of my "mystery father" actually turning out to be a good guy?! I guess I'm really lucky.

[S-99]

I hear you. Maybe I'll regret posting this later on, but I can still delete it if I wanted to. I figure if someone really wants to hold this against me, then screw them.

Thank you for your concern though. I programmed that number into my cell phone (along with some other hotlines), but I've also (finally) started seeing a therapist a couple of weeks ago...

Just to clarify, you have nothing to worry about with this thread, now or in the future, and I'm REALLY happy that you pressed charges and some justice was done. (You can call that number any time, day or night, by the way, and as often as you like; and there's even an online version of it, accessible at www. rainn.org. I'm just being a little protective, knowing that you're likely to accomplish good things ....

[S-99]

.....you also might want to contact the National Center for Victims of Crime, 1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255), or visit their website online at The National Center for Victims of Crime - Home, to ask them to tell you about resources available to crime survivors (victims compensation, restitution, etc.) The prosecutor also might be able to help you with this information.