Random Ways to Annoy People

[SexySunshine4]

Those are pretty good!

During college, my dormitory roomate and myself would venture to the campus library (which was the tallest building on campus and had the only elevators) and let out 'SBDs' when hot girls would get on the elevator. The reactions were fantastic! We were famous...but very unpopular with hot girls on campus.

Note: The reason why we chose hot girls as victims was because we knew we would never score with them anyway...because they were way out of our league. I loved college.

ROFLMAO! Dude you are too funny!

[CincyCop]

ROFLMAO! Dude you are too funny!

I will also say that during my short tenure (two years) as a Cincinnati Police Officer, I would sometimes float 'SBD' air biscuits in my patrol vehicle while enroute to the justice center (jail) while transporting a beligerent customer (arrestee). I would roll up all the windows, open the plexiglass partition and let the stinkola fly. Good times!

[Cass]

I have to agree with the above comments about people on their cell phones in public places, while driving, etc. For example, I went to Starbucks tonight...the guy in front of me was on his cell phone the entire time and didn't put the phone down to even order his drink. But he at least didn't seem obnoxious and kept his voice fairly quiet. It's the LOUD, pompous ones that really bug me--and I've encountered many! In fact, I'd say about 50% of these were/are friends of mine at one time or another...

This scenario plays out almost every week-end at the diner (and sometimes at the restaurant) I'm working at:

Group of kids comes in, the hostess shows them to their table. One minute later I walk over there to hand them their menus...and every single one of them already has their cellphone out -- one of them is talking on the phone, two are texting, one is checking messages, and the rest are just randomly pushing buttons to see "what other cool ****" their phone does since they've got nobody to talk to at the table.

Gosh, I'm their age, too, but if I go out with friends I want to enjoy interacting with those friends -- not at the same time talking or texting with another friend. WTF? Heck, maybe I just don't have enough friends?!?

Then with all the cellphone business going on it's almost impossible to even take their order. One of these days I'll just ignore them and see how long it takes them to notice that no waiter ever showed up...

Oh yeah, and when I hand them their bill I should tell them to use their cell phone calculator to make sure they tip me enough. Or even better, point out that "there's an app for that".

[PathosLogos]

This scenario plays out almost every week-end at the diner (and sometimes at the restaurant) I'm working at:

Group of kids comes in, the hostess shows them to their table. One minute later I walk over there to hand them their menus...and every single one of them already has their cellphone out -- one of them is talking on the phone, two are texting, one is checking messages, and the rest are just randomly pushing buttons to see "what other cool ****" their phone does since they've got nobody to talk to at the table.

Gosh, I'm their age, too, but if I go out with friends I want to enjoy interacting with those friends -- not at the same time talking or texting with another friend. WTF? Heck, maybe I just don't have enough friends?!?

I know what you mean! I was texting my friend the other day when she informed me that she was hanging out with a friend of hers...so you're going to hang out with a friend, yet turn your attention to ANOTHER friend who isn't even physically present? Needless to say, I didn't text her back. I'm not going to be responsible for distracting her. I find that completely rude/ignorant (although she's done the same thing to me when we hang out ). Then again, for all I know the other friend was on HER cell phone.

Then with all the cellphone business going on it's almost impossible to even take their order. One of these days I'll just ignore them and see how long it takes them to notice that no waiter ever showed up...

Oh yeah, and when I hand them their bill I should tell them to use their cell phone calculator to make sure they tip me enough. Or even better, point out that "there's an app for that".

I would pay to see that.

I just realized we've gone completely off-topic--on YOUR thread. Oops!

[WilliamTomFrank]

Writing a $20 post for 2$ questions and acting like a know it all

[amynryan]

I will also say that during my short tenure (two years) as a Cincinnati Police Officer, I would sometimes float 'SBD' air biscuits in my patrol vehicle while enroute to the justice center (jail) while transporting a beligerent customer (arrestee). I would roll up all the windows, open the plexiglass partition and let the stinkola fly. Good times!

LMAO!!! That's torture!!! Too funny!

[CincyCop]

LMAO!!! That's torture!!! Too funny!

I will also say that when I rode with a partner (during my last year on patrol) I would not do the 'SBD' air biscuit gig. Although my former partner has a great sense of humor, she would not have appreciated my flatulent behavior.

[Cat_Doc]

I worked with a guy who would intentionally eat foods that caused SBD Air Biscuits. He would experiment with foods to find the most likely to achieve his desired effect.

Then, especially during the winter, he would haul *** to back up guys on traffic stops. When they were busy doing something else, he would get in THEIR car, roll up the windows, turn up the heater full blast, release a SBD and get out. He would stick around to watch what happened when they got back in the car.

This nearly caused a couple of fist fights and required supervisory interdiction before he knocked it off.

[CincyCop]

I worked with a guy who would intentionally eat foods that caused SBD Air Biscuits. He would experiment with foods to find the most likely to achieve his desired effect.

Then, especially during the winter, he would haul *** to back up guys on traffic stops. When they were busy doing something else, he would get in THEIR car, roll up the windows, turn up the heater full blast, release a SBD and get out. He would stick around to watch what happened when they got back in the car....

I like that guy...he's crafty.

[Cat_Doc]

He damn near got kicked out of the briefing room to stand in the hallway and listen after he was caught aiming a small table fan at a specific officer, dropping a SBD and sending it like a laser guided bomb. Friggen fart sniper!

This guy was a great cop, but didn't make it past 10 years before he got in trouble off-duty causing his career demise.

I have tons of stories about him, some that would make Joseph Wambaugh drool for an interview! (An interview with the Fart Sniper, not me.)

[retdetsgt]

When I worked dope, we had two guys who were always experimenting with various foods that would cause insufferable gas. They settled on dried bananas.

They intentionally ate that a couple of hours before a raid so we would all be cooped up in the raid van.

I was always surprised they continued to live......

[Cat_Doc]

When I worked dope, we had two guys who were always experimenting with various foods that would cause insufferable gas. They settled on dried bananas.

They intentionally ate that a couple of hours before a raid so we would all be cooped up in the raid van.

I was always surprised they continued to live......

We had to have worked with the same guys? They would start snickering, then start farting and laughing harder, which caused them to fart more, while everyone else in the raid vehicle would be MF'ing them, which kept the vicious cycle going.

[retdetsgt]

We had to have worked with the same guys? They would start snickering, then start farting and laughing harder, which caused them to fart more, while everyone else in the raid vehicle would MF'ing them, which kept the vicious cycle going.

That's them! And that's exactly the way it always went down!

The upside was that when we got to the target, everyone exited the van in a timely fashion!!!

[kels]

You could die very young and it would be a justifiable homicide. LOL

Get in a long line (like at starbucks or fast food place). When you get to the front of the line, take out your cell phone and start talking. Don't give up your space, just make everyone and the service person wait. When it looks like they are going to go to the next person in line, hold up your index finger indicating "1 second" which will make them keep waiting for you. Keep doing this until they get so annoyed they ignore your "1 sec" and go to the next person. Then close your cell phone and loudly proclaim "excuse me, but I believe I was next. Sheesh, the nerve of some people."

[L-1]

If all the tables are taken at Starbucks and you really want to sit down, walk up to someone who is reading a newspaper, reach down and tear off a small corner of the newsprint. Hold it up so they can see it, look them in the eye and announce, "this has zinc in it!" Then put the small piece of paper in your mouth and chew it while silently staring at them. It should be a warm friendly stare with a big smile, like you intend to convert them to a new religion. They will get up and give you their table.

As a side note, I did annoy my local Starbucks staff anonymously. On eBay they sell one hundred trillion dollar bank notes in Zimbabwe currency. Inflation is so bad in Zimbabwe that one hundred trillion dollars will only purchase a load of bread. I bought a bunch of those notes and quietly left one in the tip jar at my local Starbucks. At the end of the night they count up the tip money and bag it for distribution later in the week to all Starbucks employees based on the number of hours worked. One of the staff later told me that the person processing the tip money saw all the zeros on the bill and was convinced all the employees were going to be able to retire.