Random Ways to Annoy People

[Cass]

If you and a friend, or fellow officer are in plainclothes on a busy elevator:
start a conversation up like you just recognized each other as former cellmates while in prison.

Good one. I found a few more ways to annoy people on elevators:

1) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re
one of THEM” – and back away slowly

2) Say DING at each floor.

3) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

4) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: “This is my personal space.”

5) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

6) Call out “Group hug” then enforce it.

7) When the lift is going down scream “we’re gonna die”

[Cass]

Take the red pencils off Sgt. Hernandez' desk every time you see them. Save them until he raises hell ranting something about people stealing his red pencils. Put all 280 of them back on his desk when nobody is looking after he raises hell. Don't tell anybody, even your best buddy, that you were the one taking the red pencils. (This is a random thought...I don't know of anyone ever doing this.)

Riiiiiiiight. You're just scared that Sgt. Hernandez might frequent this site...

[BJJVad]

its really had to think of wayz to upset people there are some good wayz and bad wayz but the good wayz are more than likely taken by other epople all ready owell i am sure it will come to me

maybe i should start a post in the ask a cop section they have to answer what you ask up there if they dont the internetz will esplode

did i tell you i was a criminal justice student yeah its so cool i am going to be a cop soon wait and see..........

[PathosLogos]

Get 'em!!!

As you've said before, I'm a lover, not a fighter. For the most part, at least...

ummm .... I thought you were mocking him? Does that work?

Consider yourself lucky, sir.

[steve03]

Follow a random car. When they stop somewhere, walk out and ask what you threw something at your car.

[CCBlueMan]

Hide in the racks at Walmart and cry: "Pick me! Pick me!"

[L-1]

Take a small baby to someone's wedding. In a conspiratorial tone, tell anyone who will listen that its the groom's child that he never learned about. Leave quickly after telling a sufficient number of people.

[suzanne1020U.S.]

Here's a good one, and just happened this evening.

A woman who works a sales job for a desposal company had the nerve to tell me this evening she worked for Swat. Knowing very well she does not, I asked her "So, what exactly do you do for them?" Her answer, "I embroider for them." WTH?! What an idiot.

Oh, forgot to mention that my friend is the Chief's attorney to the very same agency this lady said she worked for-lol-Busted!

Asshat.

[retdetsgt]

Good one. I found a few more ways to annoy people on elevators:

1) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re
one of THEM” – and back away slowly

2) Say DING at each floor.

3) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”

4) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: “This is my personal space.”

5) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

6) Call out “Group hug” then enforce it.

7) When the lift is going down scream “we’re gonna die”

Almost anything you do on an elevator besides stand and stare at the door will annoy people.

Elevator etiquette is really weird in the this country, at least.

[MikeG]

Get in a long line (like at starbucks or fast food place). When you get to the front of the line, take out your cell phone and start talking. Don't give up your space, just make everyone and the service person wait. When it looks like they are going to go to the next person in line, hold up your index finger indicating "1 second" which will make them keep waiting for you. Keep doing this until they get so annoyed they ignore your "1 sec" and go to the next person. Then close your cell phone and loudly proclaim "excuse me, but I believe I was next. Sheesh, the nerve of some people."

[MikeG]

Bring your small child (or if you want the full effect, bring a doll or stuffed anuimal) to a fast food or donut shop. Wait for people to get in line. Then even when your child doesn't say anything, pretend to talk to them softly but enough to be overheard "yes sweetie, he is fat. that's because he eats too many burgers and donuts and doesn't get enough excercise. But that's not a nice thing to say. Shhhh."

Or if their not even slightly overweight, "yes sweetie, he is ugly. God sometimes makes ugly people so we know that we aren't ugly. But that's not a nice thing to say. Shhhh."

[retdetsgt]

Get in a long line (like at starbucks or fast food place). When you get to the front of the line, take out your cell phone and start talking. Don't give up your space, just make everyone and the service person wait. When it looks like they are going to go to the next person in line, hold up your index finger indicating "1 second" which will make them keep waiting for you. Keep doing this until they get so annoyed they ignore your "1 sec" and go to the next person. Then close your cell phone and loudly proclaim "excuse me, but I believe I was next. Sheesh, the nerve of some people."

That should be legal grounds for a mob lynching.....

[amynryan]

Answer a question with a question, let them answer and walk away so you never had to answer their original question. Then when they bring it up again, answer their question with a question, let them answer and walk away again. Keep repeating until they refuse to answer your question until you answer theirs, and ask "what was the question again?" lol

[MikeG]

That should be legal grounds for a mob lynching.....

Yeah, that's a bad one but even less extreme versions are annoying.

I actually did the corollary to the standing in line one. I was buying a single item from either costco or sams club or other big box store that checks the receipt "for accuracy" before you leave.

They had the slowest checker on the planet, I only had one item and was late and didn't have time to wait. So I just started walking out. He stopped checking the person in line and came after me saying he needed to check my receipt. So I told him my receipt was accurate and I only had one item. He then went to check my receipt so it was like I had skipped everyone when my intention was to bypass it all together. Some guy said something so I told him he didn't have to wait in line either and he could just leave.

I felt like an a&& but that wasn't my intention. It surely annoyed those in line but that wasn't my intention either. I was thinking he'd ask me politely to get back in line and I would just say "no" or ignore him and keep walking and that would be the end of it.

[retdetsgt]

People talking on cell phones generally annoy me. But when they are in a checkout line and everyone is delayed because of their so important phone call, I've been known to tell them to hang up or get the hell out of line.

That's one of the few advantages of being an old man, I can be eccentric rather than just be an ***.