10 reasons a handgun is better than a woman

[Plazoo]

Just to keep things balanced after the earlier post about men. :D

Ten Reasons a Handgun is Better Than a Woman

#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.

#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN . . .
You can buy a silencer for a handgun.





And, a personal favorite of mine:

Why do women have periods?























Because they F-ing deserve it!

:D:D:D

[LA5150]

Why do women have periods?



Because they F-ing deserve it!

And we do we get PMS?
























Because YOU deserve it! :p

[kazz]

And we do we get PMS?






Because YOU deserve it! :p

We don't :(

[kirynn]

WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

They’ll both stand outside your door and whine, but the cat will
stop when it gets in.

If a cat jumps into your lap, a little light petting will satisfy him.

The only thing a cat expects you to "put out" is food, water,
and a clean litter box.

A cat always comes in SOBER after being out all night.

When a cat goes to the toilet, he tries not to leave a trace.

You can put a bell around a cat’s neck so you know exactly where he is.

If you stroke a cat, he won’t leap on you for sex.

You don’t mind that much if a cat brings a different bird home every night.

When a cat comes in at mid-night, he doesn’t wake you up by bumping into every item of furniture.

Cats never pretend they know how to fix the VCR.

Cats don’t care what size your boobs are.

Cats still love you, even when your perm goes wrong.

Cats love rubbing up to your legs, however much cellulite you have.

Cats can be neutered.

It’s okay if a cat rubs up against your best friend.

A cat might actually listen to you.

You never have to spend time with your cat’s mother.

You’ve got a better chance of actually training a cat.

Cats are always cute.

A cat is never late for dinner.

Cats love to see you come home from shopping with lots of bags!

You’ll never get a call from your cat’s Ex.

A cat would never leave you for a younger women.

Cats treat your mom with respect.

Cats don’t worry about hair loss.

It feels nice to stroke a cat’s soft, fluffy fur.

A cat’s friend is less likely to be annoying.

Cats never show love without meaning it.

To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs $1.00

Cats actually think with their heads.

Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.

Cats comfort you when you are sick.

When a cat sleeps all day it’s natural, not annoying.

A cat matures as it grows older.

Back hair on cats is cute.

A cat is loyal.

"Meow" is never a lie.

Cats never want the shower first.

A cat never feels that they have to give you directions.

A cat never criticizes your driving.

[kirynn]

PMS: Yeah, men do deserve it!!!!





Now Men can also experience the joy of PMS!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgrbI97e44Y
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[mcsap]

I like the fact that Chinese and Korean Restaurants are willing to adopt a cat anytime , 24/7.

[suzanne1020U.S.]

#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

:D:D:D

Females feel the same way, but never say it.:D

[Curt581]

When a cat goes to the toilet, he tries not to leave a trace.

Well, if you'd lift the seat when you're done, we wouldn't have that problem. The hinge works both ways.

Cats don’t care what size your boobs are.

Truth is, guys don't either. We just wanna see 'em more often.

When a cat comes in at mid-night, he doesn’t wake you up by bumping into every item of furniture.

If you wouldn't insist on rearranging it every week, we wouldn't bump into it.

Cats still love you, even when your perm goes wrong.

Truth is, we don't really care much about the perm either.

Cats can be neutered.

So can men. It's called "marriage".

A cat might actually listen to you.

Not so much... you just don't realize he's thinking about catching mice when you're talking to him.

You’ve got a better chance of actually training a cat.

Men are easily trained. You just won't tell us what you want.

A cat is never late for dinner.

Neither are men.... when you can cook.

Cats love to see you come home from shopping with lots of bags!

Cats never buy anything they'll never use, just because it's On Sale.

You’ll never get a call from your cat’s Ex.

Cats don't have 'babydaddys'.

Cats treat your mom with respect.

Okay... that one I'll give ya. ;)

Cats don’t worry about hair loss.

Cats don't worry about 'thunder thighs'.

Cats never show love without meaning it.

Cats never flirt to gain advantage

To buy a fancy dinner for a cat only costs $1.00

Good thing, too... see the above line about shopping bags.

Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.

Unlike a woman, a cat will kill it's own bugs. The cat will even eat it.

Cats comfort you when you are sick.

So would men, if you didn't have a headache e v e r y s i n g l e d a y.

Back hair on cats is cute.

Whiskers on cats is also cute.

A cat is loyal.

Cats are never on a first-name basis with a shoe salesman.

"Meow" is never a lie.

When you ask a cat if somethings bothering them, they never say "Nothing!"

Cats never want the shower first.

Cats clean themselves... and they still spend less time at it and don't need seven different moisturizers, four sets of shampoo/conditioners, two different sets of decorative soaps, etc etc etc.

:cool:

[citcop]

Truth is, guys don't either. We just wanna see 'em more often.

Classic




:D

[kirynn]

LMAO!!!! Nice. However......

How about those cheesy pick-up lines men use??
Ladies, here's some comebacks!!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.