25 signs that you're a cop

[greg72982]

Not sure if this has ever been posted:

1.) You have the bladder capacity of five people combined.

2.) You have restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

3.) You believe that 50 percent of people are a waste of good air.

4.) Your idea of a good time is a “man with a gun” call.

5.) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

6.) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

7.) You disbelieve 90 percent of what you hear and 75 percent of what you see.

8.) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

9.) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

10.) You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it’s located.

11.) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide: Getting it right the first time.”

12.) You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

13.) You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

14.) You know anyone who says, “I only had two beers” is going to blow at least a .15

15.) You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

16.) Anyone has ever said to you, “There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.”

17.) People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places...and you know where it’s located.

18.) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

19.) You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.

20.) You walk into places and people think it’s high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, “They’ve come to get you, Bill.”

21.) You do not see daylight from November until May.

22.) People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room and think they’re being hugely funny and original.

23.) A week’s worth of laundry consists of five T-shirts, five pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear.

24.) You’ve ever referred to Tuesday as “my weekend.”

25.) You’ve ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.

[marinepilot]

Awesome Greg! Thanks for posting! I think I identified with about 90% of those!!

[SANE-A30]

I can relate to about 15 out of the bunch

[kazz]

hahaha . . . I identified with the lot . . . . hmmmm, sad really =/

[SANE-A30]

hahaha . . . I identified with the lot . . . . hmmmm, sad really =/

Kazz it is..... I really liked the one my favorite restraunts can be identified at intersections do you know how many times I have been the lunch gopher....and let's not forget number 18... sad but true

[kazz]

Some more . . . .

26. You accept the fact that your patrol car serves as your kitchen, bed and office.

27. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here".

28. You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables.

29. You have co-workers that pay more in child support and alimony every month than you make in a year. (Over here they're mainly detectives)

30. You instinctively look to see whether a person is left or right handed.

31. You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight"

[Cat_Doc]

#27 is factual and will cause havoc each and every time you mention the Q-word.

[kazz]

#27 is factual and will cause havoc each and every time you mention the Q-word.

. . . or if your partner lights a smoke or opens a can of drink.

=]


32. If your wife starts to say something and you say "standby one". hahahaha . . the look on her face!!!

33. When driving the speed limit seems odd.

34. When going to a friends house, you find yourself parking two houses down from the actual location.

35. After arresting a bloke for possession or giving him a ticket or 2, you have to scratch another restaurant off your list. =(

36. You back into every parking space, even when you're the only car in the parking lot.

37. Drinking beer & eating spicy food feels natural at 07:00 after work.


=]

[marinepilot]

37. Drinking beer & eating spicy food feels natural at 07:00 after work.


=]

Doing that one now, getting ready to hit the hay for the day!

[Curt581]

34. When going to a friends house, you find yourself parking two houses down from the actual location.

I've inadvertantly done that.

[JoetheGI]

6.) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

BEST one.........

[greg72982]

. . . or if your partner lights a smoke or opens a can of drink.

=]


32. If your wife starts to say something and you say "standby one". hahahaha . . the look on her face!!!

33. When driving the speed limit seems odd.

34. When going to a friends house, you find yourself parking two houses down from the actual location.

35. After arresting a bloke for possession or giving him a ticket or 2, you have to scratch another restaurant off your list. =(

36. You back into every parking space, even when you're the only car in the parking lot.

37. Drinking beer & eating spicy food feels natural at 07:00 after work.


=]

Number 35 is so true. It's amazing to me how many burnouts/pillheads work at restaurants.


I got a kick out of th paranoia ones. I recently took the MMPI before I got my new job and they said it showed my paranoia levels were a little higher than the average, but they felt with my police experience that was a good thing and they weren't really concerned. Freakin' shrinks.

This list came from Policeone.com btw, thought I should give the source.

[MikeG]

. . . or if your partner lights a smoke or opens a can of drink.

=]


32. If your wife starts to say something and you say "standby one". hahahaha . . the look on her face!!!

33. When driving the speed limit seems odd.

34. When going to a friends house, you find yourself parking two houses down from the actual location.

35. After arresting a bloke for possession or giving him a ticket or 2, you have to scratch another restaurant off your list. =(

36. You back into every parking space, even when you're the only car in the parking lot.

37. Drinking beer & eating spicy food feels natural at 07:00 after work.


=]

How about my own observations (not a leo of course)

38. You know people that wear other peoples clothes but they don't know the owner. "these aren't my pants."

39. You vaguely recognize people off-duty around town and you get amped-up when they start heading toward yout because you think they were part of last months disturbance calls. your wife points out they were really at your neighbors BBQ 2 weeks ago.

40. You call your visit to the In-laws for thanksgiving a "415 Family".

41. At parties, you find yourself unconciously stacking the other guests in conversation while simultaneously keeing your gun hip away from them.

[kazz]

39. You vaguely recognize people off-duty around town and you get amped-up when they start heading toward yout because you think they were part of last months disturbance calls. your wife points out they were really at your neighbors BBQ 2 weeks ago.

hahahaha . . . . so guilty of that when I've been out with the wife, a few times they were people from our kids schools. They all looked so guilty of something in my eyes!! =/

42. You don't see much difference between the beak (lawyer) and their client.

43. When someone calls you a *@*# (insert any phrase really) you feel you're doing your job right. I've got so many collegues with war stories that involve them being abused.

And reflecting on all the above, I'm sure nurses can claim a few of them as well.

@ Policelink there's a post dated over 2 yrs ago with a similar type of list, here's a couple that ring true to me . . .

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime . . . . Might not be good but you're more than happy to take the job.

You can tell the severity of an accident just by hearing the sirens.

Thanks Greg for starting it off, its now posted @ AussieCops.com

=]

[1depd]

18.) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

Never discussed dinner, but one night the wife sent me in with spaghetti. There was a traffic crash that night involving a pedestrian. His head was crushed causing his brain to spill out. After that it was dinner time. I think my CPL threw up when he saw me eating, but I can't be sure. He walked in then ran in the general direction of the bathroom.