Natural extension of "These aren't my pants"

[MikeG]

Man denies cocaine found in buttocks is his

This is what can happen if you don't wear your own pants.

[retdetsgt]

One of my ex's was an ER nurse. She would come home with some of the funniest explanations some guys gave about how various things got stuck up there butt.

A familiar one would be when they would come in what a huge sausage (regular kind) stuck or coming apart up their rectum. Invariably, they sat on a chair where a roommate had left a sausage and I'll be damned if it didn't accidently slide up their butt! Odd coincidence every time.

[MikeG]

His roommate is Italian so he probably made it a point to leave regular ones out so no one would get the wrong idea about an Italian sausage accidents. He's screwed if his next roomate is Polish.

[Legoate]

I had a full ounce of cocaine fall out of an arrestee's rear during a strip search prior to being brought into the jail. The guy SWORE that he had no idea how it had gotten there and that we must have planted it. Now mind you, the ounce was nearly the size of a regulation softball and the same spherical shape.

I really wanted the guy to tell me if this was something he regularly drove around with shoved up his keister, or if this was some sort of special event. His original arrest was for a marijuana DUI. Seemed like it would be a bit uncomfortable for daily sphincter-wear.

[Trip]

His roommate is Italian so he probably made it a point to leave regular ones out so no one would get the wrong idea about an Italian sausage accidents. He's screwed if his next roomate is Polish.

Yep, I'm part Polish....I can vouch for that Mikey

[MikeG]

I had a full ounce of cocaine fall out of an arrestee's rear during a strip search prior to being brought into the jail. The guy SWORE that he had no idea how it had gotten there and that we must have planted it. Now mind you, the ounce was nearly the size of a regulation softball and the same spherical shape.

I really wanted the guy to tell me if this was something he regularly drove around with shoved up his keister, or if this was some sort of special event. His original arrest was for a marijuana DUI. Seemed like it would be a bit uncomfortable for daily sphincter-wear.

Don't they snort cocaine? He must have been popular.

Here try this stuff. Do you like it? Yeah, I carried this up my keister for a full week. That's probably what gave you that runny nose. No, it only looks like heroin. It's actually pure white, well almost white, cocaine. It's my own formulation of "crack cocaine".

[greg72982]

I really wanted the guy to tell me if this was something he regularly drove around with shoved up his keister, or if this was some sort of special event. His original arrest was for a marijuana DUI. Seemed like it would be a bit uncomfortable for daily sphincter-wear.

Did his defense argue that as the reason he failed the FST's?

[Norm357]

Just a pinch between your cheeks.....

[Chef_Au]

Errr, its not my @ss, this is my friends @ss, I have just borrowed it for today you know......

[greg72982]

Errr, its not my @ss, this is my friends @ss, I have just borrowed it for today you know......

I'd like to borrow Pathos' *** for the rest of my life.

[MikeG]

I'd like to borrow Pathos' *** for the rest of my life.

See what happens? You start off just admiring their pants. They let you try them out for free the first time. Next thing you know, you're hooked on their crack. They they got you.