Help support officers with PTSD

[Retired Trooper]

I am on the staff of Operation PTSD. A non profit organization that reaches out to veterans and LE officer to cope with PTSD and routes for treatment. Currently 10-15% or officers working the street as I type this are unaware they have PTSD as they patrol our neighborhoods. I travel around to talk to officers and superiors about symptoms of PTSD to be looking for and give officers my phone number to call 24/7 if they are having issues.

I had to retire from the SCHP after being diagnosed with PTSD after 14 faithful years of service. I was diagnoses with PTSD after a gang did a drive by shooting while I was working and my family was at home.

If you can spare anything it will be of great help going towards our mission. If you would like to donate visit Operation PTSD

[Retired Trooper]

If anyone donates and needs a reciept let me know.

[Trip]

I am on the staff of Operation PTSD. A non profit organization that reaches out to veterans and LE officer to cope with PTSD and routes for treatment. Currently 10-15% or officers working the street as I type this are unaware they have PTSD as they patrol our neighborhoods. I travel around to talk to officers and superiors about symptoms of PTSD to be looking for and give officers my phone number to call 24/7 if they are having issues.

I had to retire from the SCHP after being diagnosed with PTSD after 14 faithful years of service. I was diagnoses with PTSD after a gang did a drive by shooting while I was working and my family was at home.

If you can spare anything it will be of great help going towards our mission. If you would like to donate visit Operation PTSD

Retired Trooper, of all the charities I've participated in over my life, I can't think of one more deserving than this one. I don't know what the rules are on RP, but I almost didn't see this, as I tend to mainly read "What's New" page or "new posts" button, so please tweak your thread every now and again to bump it up there. That might help more people see it. I can personally attest to many military men I worked around being unable to see their own PTSD. I'm sure it's also true among LEOs.

[retdetsgt]

As someone who has raging PTSD (GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!), I have mixed feelings about publicizing it too much.

Before I retired, it was becoming more common for people who were just tired of the job to fake PTSD and try to get off on disability. An example is one idiot who was a crime scene specialist suddenly decided that autopsies had given him PTSD. The sumbitch got it too. He was a sorry cop when he was on the street. I saw some guys get disability that really deserved it for PTSD, they had been through the grind, but a LOT of others I saw used it to get out of trouble they had gotten into.

I guess that's my problem. I didn't know the symptoms of it and had it for years now that I look back. But I'm not even sure if someone talked to me about it, I would have recognized it. I knew I was kinda nuts, but it never dawned on me why.

I dunno where I'm going with this, but I really don't think PTSD can be self diagnosed. It's sorta like alcoholism (which I'm also familiar with). you think you're just fine and the rest of the world is crazy until you life crashes in on you.

Maybe I'm still crazy, I dunno.....

[Trip]

You're about as sane as they come, RDS. I agree there will always be challenges separating real cases from less real cases, but I've seen a lot of wrecked lives from PTSD among military people, and know it's very real. I also have known people with PTSD that I regret not having tried to help when I knew something was wrong. In one of my other threads last week I mentioned riding home and walking with an Army Colonel that I knew damn well was suffering from "something" and several months later he committed suicide. That's just one example.

[retdetsgt]

You're about as sane as they come, RDS.

I have affidavits from people who will dispute that.

I agree there will always be challenges separating real cases from less real cases, but I've seen a lot of wrecked lives from PTSD among military people, and know it's very real. I also have known people with PTSD that I regret not having tried to help when I knew something was wrong. In one of my other threads last week I mentioned riding home and walking with an Army Colonel that I knew damn well was suffering from "something" and several months later he committed suicide. That's just one example.

Oh, it's real. But it's pretty tough to self diagnose, that's my point. I used to do training on alcoholism and what to watch for, but I found it was better to do it to supervisors and command people. They could force someone to at least try to get help. But the drunk thinks he's just fine. If you had his job, his wife, his in laws, you'd drink too.....

I can't speak for anyone else, but I could hold it together at work fairly well. I was in my "professional" mode and with the exceptions of a few outbursts at command personnel, I doubt anyone would have noticed. But away from work, I was a basket case. I would leave work and immediately start feeling the muscles in my neck and back tightening up. I thought it was my home life causing it when it fact, I was just turning back on my emotions.

One example I noticed was right after I left work, I turned on the news during the day (which I rarely did) and found that one of our officers had just been shot and killed. It was so weird because I felt this necessity to go to the scene. I knew that was nuts, but it dawned on me that I needed to get into my professional stance to deal with it. On a scene, I could do the "just the facts, Ma'am," but in my personal life I had to deal with reality.

[Trip]

I have affidavits from people who will dispute that.



Oh, it's real. But it's pretty tough to self diagnose, that's my point. I used to do training on alcoholism and what to watch for, but I found it was better to do it to supervisors and command people. They could force someone to at least try to get help. But the drunk thinks he's just fine. If you had his job, his wife, his in laws, you'd drink too.....

I can't speak for anyone else, but I could hold it together at work fairly well. I was in my "professional" mode and with the exceptions of a few outbursts at command personnel, I doubt anyone would have noticed. But away from work, I was a basket case. I would leave work and immediately start feeling the muscles in my neck and back tightening up. I thought it was my home life causing it when it fact, I was just turning back on my emotions.

One example I noticed was right after I left work, I turned on the news during the day (which I rarely did) and found that one of our officers had just been shot and killed. It was so weird because I felt this necessity to go to the scene. I knew that was nuts, but it dawned on me that I needed to get into my professional stance to deal with it. On a scene, I could do the "just the facts, Ma'am," but in my personal life I had to deal with reality.

Yep, you sound like the normal one to me.

[Trip]

Oh, and I agree it can be hard to self-diagnose. Plus add the stiff upper lip we're all expected to have in our lines of work. Damned if you admit it to yourself and damned if you don't. That's why I'm really happy to see Ret Trooper's post.

[retdetsgt]

I need to put in a disclaimer here. I'm not badmouthing Retired Trooper's efforts here at all. For goodness sake, PTSD is out there and it's creating problems.

I'm speaking for no one other than me. Please donate if you feel moved to.

[sgtbear111]

^^^ Amen ^^^^^

I kept my crumbling personal life separate from my work life, each in a locked box. Sooner or later the personal box falls open and you and everyone else (from the work side) realizes that living two lives takes a lot of effort. In recovery I had to get a new foundation under the personal side, to get to know who was the face in the mirror, to forgive that guy, and to find some respect for him.

A cop friend could not accept the face in the mirror. The disease of depression left him with no alternatives, and he chose the dark silence of suicide. Everyone at work was shocked, he put a lot of effort into propping up the false front.

PTSD, alcoholism, anger, depression etc. are not compartmented for easy identification. They are mixed, interwoven, and synergistic when combined.

[retdetsgt]

A cop friend could not accept the face in the mirror. The disease of depression left him with no alternatives, and he chose the dark silence of suicide. Everyone at work was shocked, he put a lot of effort into propping up the false front.

I've yet to know of a suicide where someone said, "I saw that coming". I would have rather died that let anybody know I was hurting. And I sure as hell didn't want anyone know I thought I was crazy.

If the guy next to you said to you what you say to yourself, you'd have to kill him.

[Trip]

This weekend, my youngest brother - someone whose spirit and motives are about as pure as they come - called me to say something along the same lines you folks have posted. Out of all my siblings, he is the one with the highest IQ and the most spiritually mature, but grew up with learning disabiliites - dyslexia, ADD....was told he was stupid by everyone in a position of authority in his life as a young child. Even though he could talk people down from violence better than anyone I've ever seen - he could diffuse a playground fight between a bully and a passive kid like I've never seen before - his relationship with my dad was pretty horrible while I was away in college, and he's struggled with "normalcy" ever since. My dad came from the depression-era and didn't understand learning disabilities. Anyway, fast forward a few decades and my brother suffers from paranoid schizophrenia in which he gets to play guinea pig with the latest drugs the very competent psychiatry team the state provides for him in Maryland prescribes to him. But two weeks ago, the latest drug stopped working, his psychiatrist puts him back on one of the earlier drugs, things go really south and for two weeks his paranoia becomes so hard to deal with that he calls me this past weekend to matter- of- factly explain how after getting an ambulance to take him to the hospital, the hospital gives him meds that don't work, he goes home in worst shape, and in over the next two days of trying to ride his bike to the next town to see someone to help him and can't, he loses it. Tears his bike to shreds, walks 20 miles home, walks into his apt, packs his bag and takes the chef knife, then hikes about 20 miles out close to a Catholic convent in his little town, sits down near a tree, and is absolutely ready to cut his own throat as he can't take the paranoid thoughts anymore. I don't know how he overcame it as the paranoia makes it hard to think rationally, but despite his paranoia, his character is strong to the core and somehow he pulled out of the spiral. My brother never bull****s me cause I'm the family member who throws the BS flag on anyone trying it, but hearing this story from him...it was pretty surreal and hard to listen to. Amazing thing is, this brother has done more to help people than anyone I've known. Is a huge contributor to society in his own way. Anyway, he and I are very close and I couldn't figure out why he didn't call me before he took that "suicide" walk. But I'm sure RDS and Sgtbear touched upon why in their posts above.

The good news is that we worked through a backup plan in case this ever happens with his meds again. And appropo for this website, RPers will be proud to know his backup plan now is to immediately call the three sheriff/deputies in his little town with whom he has an outstanding relationship, instead of waiting for the medical community to respond if a change in meds starts to cause the downward spiral he got caught in. I've told him to go talk with them and get them involved in his contingency plan and to put them on his speed dial. He told me they were really upset when he overcame his "episode" and went to tell them what had happened the next day, and he said he was sure they'd be glad to be in this plan. So if you haven't gotten the idea I think cops are special people by now, let me tell you, I do.

[retdetsgt]

Scary stuff, Trip. Hope they can get and keep him stabilized. It continually pisses me off the way we treat people with mental disabilities. A good portion of our homeless are folks that the well intended kicked out of mental hospitals and expected them to take their meds and take care of themselves.

[Trip]

Scary stuff, Trip. Hope they can get and keep him stabilized. It continually pisses me off the way we treat people with mental disabilities. A good portion of our homeless are folks that the well intended kicked out of mental hospitals and expected them to take their meds and take care of themselves.

Thanks, RDS. The irony is I've gone to some of the fanciest schools in the world, worked around some of the most "accomplished" people in the world, briefed one president for work and sat at a dinner table with another one back when I was married and my ex and I did the fundraising thing, and despite all the hoitee toitee people I've known or worked with throughout my career, my brother impresses me more than just about any of them, and there's no one I'll bend over backward more for than for this brother, even though I'm close with all my siblings. As you might guess, I am not impressed with the superficial, but probe way down and judge people by their character, and very few match that of my brother, Paul. Having said all that, I tend to have a unique and complex outlook on the whole mental health issue. For example, I don't allow Paul to wallow in self-pity, and he does not. He never does. They still have to be willing to help themselves first. To me that's a different category of people than those with PTSD.

Folks I feel sorry for are professionals -i.e. military and police - who have had tremendous job-related stresses heaped on them, and because of culture, programming, and stiff upper lip, can't allow themselves to a) acknowledge they have the stresses, and b) can't ask for help. Those are the ones I feel for.

[Jennifer]

A good portion of our homeless are folks that the well intended kicked out of mental hospitals and expected them to take their meds and take care of themselves.

You can thank deinstitutionalization and the continued cutting of funds for outpatient mental health clinics in the community for this.
Unfortunately insurance companies (including medicare and soon medicaid) are the ones who have the biggest say in who stays hospitalized and who doesn't. Their requirements are: acute risk of suicide or homicide. Long gone are the days of long term inpatient care. Today, it is stablization and discharge. This is one of the biggest issues I face when dealing with families when it comes to dischage.

Trip: I am sorry to hear about your brother. Working in a psychiatric hospital I see first hand the effects of paranoid schizophrenia and how it can inhibit individuals. I am glad to hear that he has developed a safety plan. I hope that he is able to maintain stablization. At least you continue to be supportive. So often, family members turn their backs on those with psychiatric illnessess because they become burnt out.