Hi, new and I had a question about unspoken rules regarding cops dating >>

[Steph79]

the exes of other cops they work with. Is this considered okay, or is it generally frowned upon?

Thanks in advance for any information about this - Much appreciated!

[Nole795]

the exes of other cops they work with. Is this considered okay, or is it generally frowned upon?

Thanks in advance for any information about this - Much appreciated!

It happens all the time. If I placed a names of officers on a chart and then lined them up with another officer they dated, it would look like a spiderweb. Some departments are more incestuous then an Arkansas Trailer Park.

While it definately is uncomfortable for the parties at work, it makes for great conversation and jokes at the water cooler for the rest of the department.

[Steph79]

buddy (or even just a co-worker) dated a girl and it ended badly, but you really wanted to ask her out (remember, she's not a cop), would it be okay w/ most male cops to go ahead?

[Kimble]

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Why are you singling out only cops? Do you think cops are the only people/profession on the planet capable of dating someone who has dated a co-worker???

[suzanne1020U.S.]

I second what Ros posted.

[Steph79]

to the other question, I didn't mean to imply that cops are the only men/women capable of dating their co-worker's ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, etc, only that I know the bond between officers is much stronger than most other fields/careers. Anyway, to be more specific, I dated a cop for 6+ years, it ended badly, but his superior and I always got along great (no, it had nothing to do with the break-up). When he and I were talking recently, he made the comment that he'd love to ask me out, but there were 'unwritten rules' that cops usually follow. I assumed this was what he meant, but since the cop I dated never mentioned anything about this particular subject, I thought I'd ask.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

I don't know. The military bond is often tighter than cops, but it is similar. While in the Marines, I've seen women passed around like cotton candy.

Some people watch too many movies and TV programs and think there are all these "unwritten rules" when there really are not.

[suzanne1020U.S.]

If you were my friend, Steph, I would tell you to move on. Why would you date a man who's friend happens to be your ex? My only guess is that you still feel for your ex, and are using the ties of his supervisor to stay somewhat connected to him, correct or incorrect?

[PathosLogos]

If you were my friend, Steph, I would tell you to move on. Why would you date a man who's friend happens to be your ex? My only guess is that you still feel for your ex, and are using the ties of his supervisor to stay somewhat connected to him, correct or incorrect?

I was thinking the same thing...

I don't have much (or any, rather) experience in this area...but even if your ex was in a different profession, it would probably not be a good idea to date his superior. I can see that getting messy.

But that's just me.

[Steph79]

second-guessed the decision. The break-up was recent, but coming on for a long time. Why would I want to go out with his superior? B/c he's attractive and really fun. But I take your point - It would be hard on my ex, and just a complication. I was mostly just curious about what other cops thought.

[suzanne1020U.S.]

By the way, excuse the correction on my posts-on cell phone.

Thanks

[pac201]

looking at it from the outside in, it appears to me to be a great way to "get back at" the ex....just my .02



By the way ROS- Bwaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Or you could get a reputation of working your way up the chain of command. You should find a new store to shop in.

[Steph79]

worst?? Sometimes it happens - You become attracted to a friend of the person you're dating, especially if you see them often. Not trying to "get back" or "hold on" - I was honestly just curious about this kind of thing specifically in the LEO area. My ex didn't talk a lot about his job, and when we went out with his friends, they told stories, but again, nothing that touched on issues like these.