National Missing Children's Day

[Joeyd6]

Well, today was the National Missing Children's Day. Up here in the northeast, most of us were at schools and other locations doing fingerprinting of you lads, photographing them and putting together these packets for their parents to have in case they unthinkable happens. So my school today had kids from pre-K to 5th grade and I was assigned to fingerprinting.

As always with these events, the kids kept up their end of the bargain by proving more joy and pleasure to me and others than what we did for them But I have to highlight my favorites one liners and share:

Me: I ask a first grade girl "What does your dad do?"
Kid: "Nothing. My mom yells at him cause he sits on his a$$ all day watching the damn TV."
Me: Well what does your mom do?
Her: "I don't know. Sometimes she says she wears the pants."

Me: I ask a pre-k kid if he likes his shoes (crocks sandals).
Kid: "That is a dumb question sir. Do you like your underwear, cause I wouldn't wear them if I didn't like them, would you?"

Me: I ask a 3rd grade boy "What does your mom do?"
Kid: "Complains how tired she is and that nobody ever helps her."

Kid: Kindergarten boy named Angus: "Are you really a police man?"
Me: Yes
Kid: Who drops shoulders, looks down, and speaks in a very low tone, "I am sorry policeman. I ran in the hall. Do you have to arrest me or can I just get a ticket. I was bad and am sorry." {And he was 100% genuine and almost crying as he poured his should out! We all started laughing and found out from his teacher his nick name is "Honest Abe."}

Me: To a 5th grade girl: "You ready to be printed?"
Her: Sorta
Me: What do you mean?
Her: "Well, I love CSI and decided to print myself this morning." (As she shows us her totally black hands from the tip of the finger to her wrist!!!).
Me: You did that in here (gym)?
Her: No!
Me: Well where did you try it and what did you use?
Her: I used a black sharpie and colored my hand and when I was done I tried to press it on paper but nothing came off!


And my all time favorite was when the US Attorney Office sent over two US Attorneys to help. One was a 3 year attorney from "Harvard" in a navy blue suit that looked like it cost as much as my house taxes, and a blond Georgetown graduate US Attorney who decided to wear all white! Both were the typical AUSA "godlike" attitude.

They decided with no training they would print kids. All was going OK till a girl who was just printed and waiting in line to clean up forgot she had dirty hands and the dumb blond forgot to look at the girls hands and asked for a hug. Little girl hugging standing AUSA in white = black hand prints right on AUSA's white suit pants, with one print of a hand on each butt cheek! Priceless!

[Hockey9019]

So, Joey, how much did you pay the little girl :p

[Norm357]

Me: I ask a pre-k kid if he likes his shoes (crocks sandals).
Kid: "That is a dumb question sir. Do you like your underwear, cause I wouldn't wear them if I didn't like them, would you?"

Awsome.:D