Family and possible LEO career

[Baz]

Hi guys and gals, I seem to have a pretty big problem. I am venturing into the field of law enforcement and I really do not have a ton of support from my family. Becomming a LEO is something I have wanted to do since I was a kid, and they know it. I put it on the backburner when I was interested in military service. Anyways, long story short... My father and i butt heads alot (way too much) it seems that we have diferent opinions all the time, I always take the opinion of "the right thing to do" once instance is illegal immigration. He always takes an opinion of a (in my opinion) un-ethical and business-like stand point. For example, he could give a hoot about illegal immigration. I, on the other hand feel that not only is it economically detrimental (hospitals, schools, etc...) but also not justice for people who have immigrated here legally. Yeah, it sucks that Mexical is a slum compared to the USA... But trying to come here and ignore Mexico makes the problem worse. In other words, if we in the USA had a major problem with the way things were around here... We would put forth the effort to change them, we wouldn't run away from our problems.

Anyways, this whole butting heads with my dad is a huge problem... There is no way I can bring a firearm into this household, I have a strong feeling that It would be used against somebody. That is one reason why I want to move out and find my own place after becomming a LEO. Heck, when i'm visiting my family I don't even think I could carry. Its not because I can't control myself. Its because my father acts like a raving lunatic when he gets mad, everything from raising his his voice in an instant... To provoking a physical confrontation. At least now I finally understand how he is, when I was younger i was basically blind and was un-aware of the grasp he was building over me and the control he wanted to have. Now that I am venturing into law enforcement, he sees that I have a mind of my own and that i am not a blind sheep like I used to be. And i see how his business is truely run, I feel like he is always there to put me down... Basically he is an a$$hole towards me, he thinks being a LEO is a joke... He messes around with me asking me about giving his friends warnings instead of tickets or "discounts" on fines. I basically told him to shove it and that i'm not bending over for anyone. I'm going to be out there to preform a duty and not F around with him or his friends. The guy is just psycho, he has driven my mother insane and now he is starting his work on me... But its not going to work because hopefully soon I will be out of the house and on my way to finally becomming a man and honoring my dreams.

The sooner I attend academy the better, the only problem is until then I am stuck in this hell hole. So, do any of you have any advice on this matter? Any way to pass the time by and avoid a confrontation? I tried making diecast cars, but that only pissed him off because of all the stuff I had lying around when I was making them. It seems to me that the only way I can get his grip off me is to seperate myself from him and live my life the way I want.

[AMMO22]

I'm not sure how old you are, but if your out of school, get a job at lowes, walmart, etc to make some money. Then talk to some of your friends and ask if they would be interested in renting an apartment or house with you and split all the cost.

From what you said, it would be impossible to attend any academy and have time to do the studying you need to do without distraction.

[Plazoo]

Dude, get out of there as soon as you can. If your dad is as big of a whack-job as you make him out to be, it's only a matter of time before he says/does something that'll put you over the edge and you'll end up with a domestic violence charge and then you can kiss a police job goodbye.

Do what Ammo advised and get a job, any job, and get an apartment with friends. It's your life, not your dad's, so do what you need to in order to achieve your goals.

[LA5150]

Ditto on what the others have said: the sooner you remove yourself from that situation, the happier you will be. Then your dad can be as big of an a-hole as he wants, but you won't have to stick around to put up with it. Get your own place, whether that means renting a room out from someone or sharing an apartment with friends, and you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

[Sierra]

[QUOTE=Baz;772931]
Anyways, this whole butting heads with my dad is a huge problem...

There is no way I can bring a firearm into this household, I have a strong feeling that It would be used against somebody.

Heck, when i'm visiting my family I don't even think I could carry. Its not because I can't control myself. Its because my father acts like a raving lunatic when he gets mad, everything from raising his his voice in an instant... To provoking a physical confrontation.

But its not going to work because hopefully soon I will be out of the house and on my way to finally becomming a man and honoring my dreams.

The sooner I attend academy the better, the only problem is until then I am stuck in this hell hole. So, do any of you have any advice on this matter? Any way to pass the time by and avoid a confrontation? [QUOTE]



Are you sure that you have the right mindset to be a police officer? Look at your statements! You suspect your service or personal weapon would be used on someone in your household? You don't believe you could carry on a visit because your dad might start something? Your weapon is your responsibility. What I see is someone threatening to shoot his dad in anger because of an argument or a possible physical confrontation. You are only allowed to match force on force. You don't bring a knife to a gunfight, conversely, you don't bring a gun to a fistfight!

Becoming or being a police officer doesn't make you a man any more than hitting the age of 18 or 21 does. Again, I think you need to re-evaluate.

As others have said, move out. Become roommates with your buddies or whatever, but if he is making you 'insane' and you are over the age of 18, it is your responsibility to remove yourself from the settings, not his.

[Baz]

I'm not worried about me using any force on anybody in my household... I'm not really worried about it. The reason why I want to become a cop is to help people... Now if thats by responding/investigating crime, or responding to 10-50s or dragging a drunk out of a car. Then thats what i'll do... My concern is that with alraedy a hostile work environment that the job entails, I wouldn't need the same environment when I come home (or anything remotely close) otherwise you can't "recharge" for tomorrow. I feel that my father can't control his anger and thus why would I put the household into a situation where evidently "gunplay" could become an issue. You are right I am responsible for my weapon, but I am not responsible for the actions of other people. I can only control my reactions, My worry is basically logical and well thought out.

A little history: I am 20 years old right now, I have held serveral jobs... But now I am just waiting to go to training in 1 or 2 months I should know for sure if I am going and when I will go... There is a cultural aspect involved in this, him being born in Iran and be being born here in the USA... He basically says I am " Americanized" (whatever that means) when I was young he was a controling figure in my life and I dared not to oppose him. Now that I have "seen the light" I have broken away from his ideologies and opinions (which I never was really in agreement with to begin with) I am basically the complete opposite of him. I don't want this to sound like a rant because it really isn't, I am just standing up for what I believe in. Which is basically freedom, I feel that I am finally finding my path and I have always either wanted to go into law enforcement or the military. I was in NJROTC for 4 years while in high school, I was so dedicated and enthusiastic about that in the end I became the XO of my unit. I find it hard to talk to anyone in my family about this because they just brush it off as nothing, my mother is submissive to his every demand. And I used to be as well, I used to take plans for him for submission, etc... And everytime I did, the permitting services would not accept them because they were basically done "half-a$$" I frankly got tired of this and refused to take anything anywhere until he got it in his head that what he is doing is obviously wrong. Anyways long story short, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and after 6 months of processing and testing... I am confident that I will make it through and become a fine LEO. And just basically start my "adult life", yes I know there are risks involved with being a LEO... But it is something that I have always wanted to do and I look forward to some long years of service. I figure in a month or 2 i'll be out of the house and it would not be worth getting an apartment or anything right now... But once I graduate i'll have to see where my work area is and plan acordingly.

Our duty weapon is a Beretta 96D but i'm looking into having a Glock 27 for off duty carry and maybe an AR-15 or HK MP5 series sub-machine gun to store in the trunk of my patrol car. No i'm not a gun nut, I have only shot a .22 rifle in my life and that was at summer boot camp and I was a long shot away from being a crack shot lol. I figure its best that I don't know anything when I go there... That way they can train you alot better and so you can learn the correct way of operating a weapon... Otherwise, I would have gone to a range and started to learn with help from an instructor.

Man all this testing has been easy so far, the hardest thing is the uncertainty and the wait... But I guess that it'll be worth it in the end.

Oh yeah, forgot to add... The academy I will be going to is a 6 month long live-in police academy...