Highlights 2006 Police Blotter (Lake Oswega, Ore)
12/30 4:26 p.m. A young girl showed up on a doorstep on Stonehurst Court and asked to go to a mental hospital. She already was a resident of a mental hospital.
1/03 3:30 p.m. A woman found a posting on the Internet that indicated she was “part of the Iraq party.”
1/07 3:29 p.m. The mother of an adult man called police, concerned he was running with the wrong crowd.
1/23 10:22 p.m. A naked man was standing at the intersection of Cervantes and Jefferson Parkway.
1/25 3:58 p.m. A resident called police after finding a 12-pack of toilet paper on her doorstep on Greenridge Drive, not for the first time.
2/19 7:20 a.m. A suspected transient who rang the doorbell of a home on Hobbit Court turned out to be a neighbor. He was trying to tell the residents there that their sprinkler system was leaking.
2/22 8:52 p.m. An endangered woman who was clearly being tailed by a black car on Boones Ferry told police the driver she was avoiding her cousin.
3/4 3:15 p.m. A kid in polka-dotted pants who “looked like a young Bob Dylan” appeared to be prowling cars near the Bryant Park Easement.
3/21 1:22 p.m. A woman who accused a coffee barista of poisoning her food was told she couldn’t come back to a shop off A Avenue.
3/27 1:25 p.m. A friendly, hand-fed show pigeon showed up at a home on Cardinal Drive and tried to get into the house.
4/03 9:29 p.m. A woman who had been out of town returned home to find oil spots in her driveway on Ridgewood Road. Police attributed the marks to barkdust piled there.
4/06 9:02 p.m. A guy in a store was covered in blood. Police found nothing wrong with him and gave him a lift home.
4/14 4:36 p.m. A customer who took a car on an unusually long test drive was located at a bank. He was getting a loan.
4/22 4:47 p.m. A passenger accused of trying to swipe at bicyclists on A Avenue said he was just waving at them.
4/24 6:02 p.m. A local woman called police after seeing a towel on the railroad tracks on Bryant Road. She was concerned it could derail a train.
4/25 8:59 a.m. A man whose brakes went out on Bonita Road called police to let them know, just in case anyone complained about his driving.
4/26 7:44 p.m. A green and gold colored bird on Southwood Drive appeared injured. It ran into the bushes when questioned by police.
5/5 3:22 p.m. A guy seen dancing on the side of the road on Kerr Parkway was not drunk, as reported, just dancing to his iPod. He was warned to stay out of the road.
5/6 2:21 a.m. A woman in the Davis Lane area had been screaming since midnight. Pounding sounds could also be heard.
5/7 2:00 a.m. Teens who dialed 9-1-1 to report that “everything is fine” were checked on and found to be in possession of alcohol. They were cited and released to their parents.
5/10 6:23 p.m. People going door to door on Bryant Road were asking for soup labels to get over their fear of public speaking. Residents feared they were casing the neighborhood.
5/21 10:59 a.m. A man dropped his bike in traffic on State Street and went running into the trees, grabbing at his shirt and waving his arms around.
5/31 9:10 p.m. A man who stood on a bucket and then crawled through the window of a restaurant on B Avenue turned out to be the owner of the place.
6/06 12:40 p.m. Two male streakers, both wearing capes and Batman masks, made a run on Overlook Drive.
6/12 11:29 a.m. A person was hit in the head with a water balloon on State Street.
6/21 10:04 a.m. A motorist who returned a pile of trash to the driver of a Geo Metro, who threw it out the window, said he was nearly run over afterward by the irate driver.
6/28 1:09 p.m. A man who was turning in circles and poking his fingers in his ears was just waiting for his court appointment at city hall.
6/30 4:23 p.m. A fight involving about 200 people was reported in the Childs Road area. Police turned out to find homeowners standing off with six busloads of kids, who had just floated down the Tualatin River.
7/05 8:04 p.m. A medical bag with “something inside it” on McVey Avenue turned out to be a bag full of urine with a catheter attached.
7/24 9:15 p.m. After dropping off her child for a field trip, a mother reported concern about the condition of the tires and taillights on a bus.
7/26 8:54 a.m. Someone used chalk to draw animals on Nansen Summit.
7/31 9:23 a.m. One neighbor reported another for name-calling on Touchstone. He told police he was thinking about retaliating, also with name-calling.
7/31 1:44 p.m. Two teenage boys were reportedly talking about penises with small children.
8/06 8:40 p.m. Juveniles on Princeton Court were using a catapult to launch one-gallon water jugs around the neighborhood.
8/07 8:58 a.m. A man who appeared to be having difficulty standing up on Middlecrest Road was not drunk, as reported, just waiting for a bus.
8/10 10:44 a.m. An older type Airedale dog was wandering along Furnace Street, apparently wearing a bib.
7/24 3:18 p.m. A mattress was left on a road, then was run over by teenagers.
8/21 7:34 p.m. A group of skateboarders on Carman Drive and Touchstone reportedly had a dummy that looked like a small child.
9/3 9:41 a.m. A woman reported she was receiving phone calls from an unknown person singing “Happy Birthday.”
9/30 11 a.m. After discovering a plastic bag full of dog waste on her welcome mat, a woman told officers that the waste might have come from her own dog.
10/8 1:29 a.m. Two persons having relations in a parking lot were interrupted by the security officer who spotted them. The couple uncoupled, then backed up their vehicle and nearly hit the officer before driving off.
10/10 7:31 a.m. Making an all-out effort to warn people about the bad place, a man went on the campus of Lake Oswego High School with signs, propaganda and wearing a sign around his neck that said, “Avoid Hell.”
11/11 8:08 p.m. A man arrived to pick up his date on Palisades Terrace Drive, only to be informed by police that she no longer lived at that address.
11/17 6:43 p.m. A man who lost phone contact with his girlfriend called police when she didn’t answer her door. She was doing fine, she just didn’t want to talk to him.
11/20 1:25 p.m. The driver of a Dodge minivan arrived on Churchill Downs, walked away for 30 minutes and then came back again. He has apparently done this before.
11/27 2:41 p.m. A local man got a message on his voicemail from another man, who was apparently trying to sell some marijuana and himself.
12/03 9:21 a.m. Dogs on First Street pooped on park supplies belonging to the city’s maintenance department. The owner laughed when an employee asked him to clean it up. Police later forced him.
12/04 2:50 p.m. A dog at a flower shop on Boones Ferry Road appear to have chicken wire wrapped around its neck. This turned out to be a tomato cage, which was removed.
12/06 7:16 p.m. Reports of screaming and yelling from a parking lot on McNary Parkway led police to a tickle fight.
12/07 10:46 p.m. A man who dialed 9-1-1 after being locked in the library was taken to jail on an outstanding warrant from Beaverton.
12/11 6:12 p.m. A man who was acting odd, waving and stomping the ground on Jefferson Parkway was suspected of being drunk and possibly smoking marijuana. He was actually just enjoying his scratch off lottery tickets.
12/11 10:55 p.m. One person hit another in the head with a piece of cardboard. This happened on Lakeview Boulevard.
12/15 10:41 p.m. A woman who was late returning home requested police turn off her Christmas lights.
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.