So my dad (police officer of 30 years) is discouraging me from becoming a cop

[VMI08police]

Long story short: My goal has always been to be a Marine Corps. Officer in life, but recently I have had a change of heart and wish to become a police officer, i.e. state trooper in VA or TX, NYPD, or dallas PD. Anyways, my father has been a VA state police officer for close to 30 years and is very upset at my change in heart. He speaks very low of the job and seems to think that I am, "too good to be a police officer." My mom and everyone else are very supposrtive of my decision. My dad is still my dad and always will be, and I know in the end it is my final decision, but I feel horrible about the situation. I don't know that I have a specific question to ask here, I suppose I am looking more for advise on how I should carry myself about the situation. I want my father's support in life, but I think the time has come where I will no longer recieve it. How would some of you feel about the situation if you were in his shoes? Thankyou for the responces in advance.

[chaser]

I only know what I would do and it would not be what some stranger on the internet tells me. I don't know your father or your relationship but I would talk with mine and then make my own decision, good luck.

[Cat_Doc]

How would some of you feel about the situation if you were in his shoes?

I have been in your father's shoes. My oldest daughter wanted to become a police officer. I was dead set against it. I did not want her rolling around in the gutter with a drunk at 0300 hours. I did not want her to miss all the holidays, soccer games, school plays, etc., that I missed.

The bottom line, however, is that I love her very dearly and her choice of professions would not have changed that in the least.

She finally decided on a career in the United States Air Force and is currently an officer in a missle squadron. I worry about her there, too. But, that is life.

[blindside]

This is VMI08police, however I had to change my moniker so as not to confuse anyone into thinking I was an actual police officer.

To the first reply:
This is a forum about police and wannabes who want some advise, that is why I asked. I am sorry if you think the way I went about this is wrong, but I see it as the best possible way to get some feedback from many police officers and others who may be experienced in the situation and would be in the position to help. Surely I could get advise from my college room mates (which I have), but hearing some advise from LEO's I think would greatly help me in my dilemma.

To the second post:
Thankyou for your insight.

[Valor55]

+1 Cat_Doc.

I love my job but I will discourage my kids from it. I don't want to my kids to see people jellified from a car wreck, gun shot wounds, blood pumping from stab wounds, a homeless drunk who's been living in his own urine and defecation, and drug addicted women with children who see crack use on a constant basis...

You need to have a sit down with your father. Ask him why he doesn't want you to do the job. Explain why you want to do it. Ask him to support you and help you, even if he disagrees with you...

[Super Six 5]

To the first reply:
This is a forum about police and wannabes who want some advise, that is why I asked. I am sorry if you think the way I went about this is wrong, but I see it as the best possible way to get some feedback from many police officers and others who may be experienced in the situation and would be in the position to help. Surely I could get advise from my college room mates (which I have), but hearing some advise from LEO's I think would greatly help me in my dilemma.

You're misunderstanding him. He's just telling you not to make your decisions based off of what strangers on the internet think. You need to do what's best for you, not what every Tom, ****, or Sally think you should.

You need to have a sit down with your father. Ask him why he doesn't want you to do the job. Explain why you want to do it. Ask him to support you and help you, even if he disagrees with you...

You're not going to get any better advice then that dude.

[blindside]

+1 Cat_Doc.

I love my job but I will discourage my kids from it. I don't want to my kids to see people jellified from a car wreck, gun shot wounds, blood pumping from stab wounds, a homeless drunk who's been living in his own urine and defecation, and drug addicted women with children who see crack use on a constant basis...

You need to have a sit down with your father. Ask him why he doesn't want you to do the job. Explain why you want to do it. Ask him to support you and help you, even if he disagrees with you...

Thats what I did. I think I just need to give him some cooling time. He's had it in his head that I am going to be a Marine for a long time. And righfully so, I have completed OCS and everything. I am just going to have to be head strong on this one and go with my heart

[blindside]

You're misunderstanding him. He's just telling you not to make your decisions based off of what strangers on the internet think. You need to do what's best for you, not what every Tom, ****, or Sally think you should.



You're not going to get any better advice then that dude.

Ok, it is sometimes hard to understand what people mean by their online posts. Tone of voice and fascial expressions are obsolete making some things hard to judge. Thankyou for the clarification

[Cat_Doc]

Blindside,

I have been doing this job for over thirty years. I love this job, even though I long for sitting around and playing with the grandkids and no longer being in such close contact with the dark side of life.

I am sure your father loves you and wants the best for his kid. I could be wrong, but I think sometimes cops have an easier time talking with a scumbag than they do in a close, personal conversation with their family. If you try and get him to open up, start out easy. Hell, show him what I wrote.

If he and I are anywhere close on this, he has been there, done that, and he does not want his son to go through the same crap.

[Twelve Volt Man]

Most cop fathers would prefer that their child pursue a more prosperous, less dangerous job. I'd suspect, however, that his career choice has had such an impact on you that you have chosen to follow in his footsteps. Since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, he should be honored. Nonetheless, I can understand his trepidation about encouraging your career choice. I'd suggest talking to him extensively about your wishes. In the end, though, it's your choice.

[kels]

I got 20 + in and Im with your dad.
If you have complete OCS, dont throw it away.

Oh, I love my job. But I dont want my kids doing it either

Best wishes and as others have said.

You need to sit down and talk with dad.

[ChesCopPodz]

Echo what everyone else said. I don't have kids, but I wouldn't want mine doing what I do.

I'm in the same position. My dad is a cop, and he really didn't want me to be. However he has supported me and helped me with advice my whole career. I'm sure you will find the same thing. Your father may not want you to be a cop, but if you become one, he'll support you the entire time and he'll still be proud of you.

[Roger Dat]

My father just started his 26th year in LE total 21 with the agency I am about to be hired with. He discouraged me for awhile growing up untl he knew for sure that it was something I really wanted to do, not just doing ot because he did it or some other reason. Once he saw the hard work and dedication I put into getting the job he jumped on board with me. Bottom line is its your career and life and if its what you want to do for 20 + years dont let anyone discourage you!

[grumpyirishman]

Your original moniker had VMI08 in it. If you are attending VMI, class of 08, the only thing I can truly urge you to do is graduate prior to taking any career move!!!

[1depd]

I have strongly discouraged my son, though he's only nine, from becoming a police officer. I've spent many years looking at the ugly side of life and don't want him to have to see it also. Since he's only nine, I doubt he'll stay with the police thing until he is old enough to do the job. However, from what my father told me, I've been saying I want to be a police officer since I was about five, so you can never tell.

It's not a bad job, the pay isn't great, but it's not bad. The hours aren't the best, but it's better than working 60 hours a week. The retirement is ok. The camaraderie is outstanding and you'll be hard pressed to find a better group of people to work with. Overall it's a decent job, but the schedule takes a lot of time away from family that you'd miss if you worked 60 hours a week and you aren't paid as well as the 60 hour per week job. The bad side of the street can wear on you. Sometimes I hate being able to see how to cheat someone without even thinking about it. I hate instinctively knowing the bad areas just with a quick look. Sometimes ignorance is bliss and I wish to have the bliss back.