Drinking and Driving-You Think Its Not Serious?

[7mmMag]

Family to tell story of three sons killed in alcohol-related crash

Kjerstin Lang
Editor at MMI
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 07:22:52 AM

HIBBING — In 2004, 177 people where killed in alcohol-related crashes in Minnesota, according to Alan Rodgers, research analyst for the Minnesota Department of Public Safety (DPS).

But what if a mother and father said that three of those 177 were their children?

“I have the authority to let the people know that this is a real problem and do my part to put a face with it,” said Connie Backstrom, the mother of three boys killed in an alcohol-related crash. “It is just numbers until you see the people impacted by it.”

Connie and her husband, Nathan, along with their two surviving children, Charles and Ryan, will be visiting Hibbing to tell their story. The pubic is invited to hear it at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 20, at Lincoln Elementary Auditorium.

They will bring along some memorabilia and pictures of the boys at prom, playing and growing up like any other children to stress the reality of the situation. To increase the impact, they will also show pictures of the boys’ funeral and the clothing they each was wearing the day of the accident.

Matthew, 20, Jacob, 17, and Justin, 16, were killed near Farmington, Minn., about a half an hour after running an errand at Wal-Mart. Connie said with permission from Wal-Mart they were able to see the last glimpses of their sons from a store surveillance video.

They trio was walking around, looking at the games and videos. They bought a compact disc and a case of Mountain Dew. They acted like ordinary kids having a typical afternoon.

Connie said when they speak to different groups about the incident, kids can often relate to one of the boys because they had such diverse interests.

Jacob was the musician. He played the drums and the electric guitar. Matthew was the artist. He was going to school for graphic design. Justin was the “brainiac,” and very interested in his studies.

On the way home from Wal-Mart, the three were wearing seat belts and driving responsibly. They hadn’t been drinking, but the young man that hit them had been.

“Our kids were sober, and so often we think if they are sober, they will be safe. But so many are out there that are drinking and driving,” said Connie. “If we see them drinking and driving, we should say something because we could be the next victim.”

In this case, the victims were not only three young men, but all of the family and friends connected to them.

The accident happened on a Sunday. Matthew had to work at Country Kitchen from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Nathan and Jacob played guitar with the worship team at church that morning. Justin was tired and spent most of church resting his head in his hands.

Later in the afternoon, Justin asked if he could go with Matthew to drop his film off for his photography class at Wal-Mart. Jacob did not want to be left behind and decided to make the run as well. They planned to go to Target and Wal-Mart and be back for suppertime.

As Connie waved them goodbye, she had no idea it would be the last time she would see her boys alive.

They called twice during the errand to say where they were and that they were leaving the stores. Connie expected them home between 7:50 and 8 p.m. When they weren’t there by 8 p.m., she grew concerned.

The accident happened around 7:42 p.m. Matthew and Justin died at the scene. Jacob was taken to the hospital, but didn’t survive the night.

Meanwhile at home, Connie tried calling Matthew’s cell phone which was off. She thought possibly they had stopped somewhere else without calling to let her know.

The boys were usually good about keeping their parents informed about their whereabouts, so Connie and Nathan discussed what they would do upon the boys’ return to teach them to keep their parents informed.

At 9:20 p.m., Connie saw two pair of headlights coming down the driveway. When she realized it was not the boys but two sheriffs deputy cars, she knew someone had died.

She had no idea it would be all three of her sons. When she heard the news, she went into crisis mode.

“All I could think of is I have to stay calm,” she said.

Connie told Nathan to be home immediately and eventually ended up telling Nathan over the phone about the boys. They each contacted family and friends about the tragic news.

Now, nearly two years later, the family has told the same story at 56 different events. They go to high schools, churches and even spoke at a DPS conference. They have spoken in North Dakota, Wisconsin, Iowa and Minnesota. Their message has spread to friends and family via telephone and personal connections to countries all over the world.

Connie said they strive to put a face to the numbers so people take the statistics seriously. Considering the amount of people killed as a result of alcohol-related crashes, she likens it to war.

“How many have to die for it to be declared a war?” she said.

The Backstrom family goes on fighting the war in their own way every day.

They tell the crowd that the boy that was driving was intoxicated and driving too fast. He was also talking on a cell phone while attempting to pass another vehicle. And, before this event, he had no idea he would spend the rest of his life with the guilt from these choices.

The Backstroms also tell how the tragedy affected them. They never expected something like this would happen to their family.

“One thing I hope people will take away from this story is to cherish your family while they are with you because you never know what tomorrow brings,” said Connie. “ And when you have the opportunity to make a difference, make an effort each day to make that difference.”

[Cris1102]

“One thing I hope people will take away from this story is to cherish your family while they are with you because you never know what tomorrow brings,” said Connie. “ And when you have the opportunity to make a difference, make an effort each day to make that difference.”

Amen....

Very heartbreaking story 7. Thanks for sharing it. Although I do not drink and drive, every once in a while it takes stories like this to remind people of what they have, whats really important in life and what they should cherish.

[flcpd110]

That is terrible....What happend to the driver i wonder...Was he charged with their deaths?

[pmfc]

Stories like that make me wish for the death penalty for anyone who kills someone by driving drunk :mad: :(

[L.E. Psych]

Stories like that make me wish for the death penalty for anyone who kills someone by driving drunk :mad: :(

I agree 100%. Stories like this are heartbreaking. I have felt some of that pain, my uncle was killed by a drunk driver at the age of 19. Driving Under the Influence is not acceptable under any circumstance and stiffer penalties need to be implemented to deter people.

[prowlassignment]

The laws need to be changed

First offense: lose your license for one year minimum and spend a month in jail minimum

My opinions of if they were to hurt or kill someone would just overload the entire jail system so I guess thats not an option