A little help

[Thumper]

I would really appreciate your help as seasoned officers working with so many different people. I dont want to trouble anyone for my venting/whine session... You may wanna call the waaaaaambulance..LOL

I think Im just being a big insecure baby, but I need to vent.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Our likes and dislikes.

Today I was praised by the head honcho of the entire security department for one of my reports (yeah I write like poop on the net). He said that it was the best that he has ever read and that it should be circulated through the various shifts as an example of a perfect report.

While Im so grateful for this, I am also disheartned a little.

My co-workers attitudes towards me has been getting worse with each passing day, and now this praising seems to have been the nail in coffin.

I will admit I have faults, I have cryed that the sky is falling with threats of quiting a couple times because of the stress base has put me through. Then I get a little pissy when I see the other officers not doing 100% because as they say, they get paid the same either way. But, I never show it in my attitude towards them even if I am pissy.

Pissy= only slightly perterved. Not enough to matter, just like having an itch you cant quite get to on your foot but eventually get over it.

The officers have lamented that I spend to much time on my ***.

Do I ? I dont think I do.

They dont enjoy reports, I do.
I accepted the fact long ago if you wanna go to the good calls you gotta be able to write a good report.

They have said while frustrated with a report, why cant you (that would be me) do them all? So I stop and teach them.

No one else likes base either. So I jumped at the chance to learn dispatching, so that I could help out up there without taking an officer off the floor, who enjoys the floor.

So now Im praised for my reports, and they are jealous.

All pissed off that I sit on my *** doing reports for the first couple hours of shift. Even though they dont want to do them, it just burns there *** that Im sitting on my bum.

Not completely understanding that to do a report I had to bust my *** running around gathering all the pertinent info, desculating the situation, providing medical care, escorting if need be... And those are just some of things I may do.

I would like to see how anyone of them handles a guy whos 80k Merceds was side swiped by an unknown vehicle. Or the drunk thats puking everywhere.

I want to scream!

I do many different things, I am the firefighter. I put out all the fires, and take over situations so my supervisor can get on with his other job duties. I know the computers, I know how to do the managers job even. LOL Every facet of the job I know. Hell they get someone that cant be trained, they give them to me. Im a good, and patient teacher.

So half the time they dont hear my radio traffic, and to them less radio traffic means less work..Ohh she must be sitting on her *** again.

I know for a fact Im the only officer that for one thing never gets back up for pit fills (another one of bases little ways he gets back at me. Anyone else asks for backup and he gives it to them..Or I have to back them up), and for another when I do pit fills Im stuck on them forever (thats not smart having your medic tied up on pit fills for hours), and Im the only one that goes out with two not one birdcage full.

I think Im just looking at this entirely wrong. I must have screwed up somewhere..When ever I get the feeling I am doing 200% percent, and performing at my best..Im actually not.

And a few times I have been fired at this stage in a job. Get a little cocky, a little too good at everything..and I get shown the door.

I really need to scale down my work ethic (or what I percieve it to be), because its really interfearing with the relations between co-workers and myself.

I dont want to be friends, but I do want to get along.

And no one will tell me to my face what Im doing wrong. How can I rectify the matter if I have no clue as to whats wrong?

T

[Stump]

Thump, I hear ya.
You may be passive-aggressive when it comes to complaining. You probably don't even know it, or even really mean it. You probably WANT the others to know that they suck (LOL) but you know it isn't your place to tell them. Your body language could be the clue.
Are you confident? Some insecure people could view that as cockiness. I know there are a few people who fit that bill in my department now. I used to outwardly show confidence when I first started to cover up the fact I was terrified. One of my friends asked why I acted like I could do no wrong once, and I realized that I was acting too crazy. (In my dept, if you show fear or uncertainty, the vets chew you up).
I am a perfectionist with my own duties, and constantly critique my own work, replay the crap that goes on, and strive to do better each day. I get irritated (really irritated - none of this "I'll get over it" politically correct sh*t for me) with some of the screw-ups at work. We have cops lives in our hands. I couldn't do anything about their performance, but they knew I wasn't happy with them. I did not actively seek out conversations with them, and I just kept my mouth shut. *I just can't like the person if I have no respect for their work ethic*.
As hard as it is, just follow their lead - if they screw up and laugh about it, you laugh too. Chances are they may be embarrassed and that is their defense mechanism. You can't police everyone.
I hope this helps even a little. I do understand where you are coming from, I think.

[Thumper]

Yeah I wanna tell them hey you suck in the most professional way..like you suck so let me show you how to do it right.

I allways think Im right. Im used to being the leader. When it comes to this line of work every aspect comes natrual to me. And I cant help the fact that over time, I get better at things. Honing my skills constantly. The reason I do it is because I want to be in charge, nest in line for the supervisor poistion.

I think this upsets, especially the older officers to see such a young person doing so well and succeeding where they have failed.

Failure is a hard pill to swallow.

And Im confident about it. Getting a little to confident and pushing officers out of the way. That was a bad thing I did. And I shouldnt have. While it wont happen again, the damage is allready done.

Stump, would I be wrong to say forget them... that Im not here to be friends..and just look out for good'ole number one?

It seems to me that I just have to accept the fact that the better I get, the more team mates Im loosing as "friendly" co-workers.

I can try to be nice, but they wont even smile, or make eye contact with me.

Err drive me nuts.


T

[Chief_Wiggum]

Originally posted by Thumper
Stump, would I be wrong to say forget them... that Im not here to be friends..and just look out for good'ole number one?

Well you didn't ask me but, what the heck... Yep you need to look out for YOU first. Nobody else is goping to do it for you, and in the real world everyone is looking out for themselves. It's the human instinct for self preservation.

Think about it. Almost anyone in your company, department, office, or wherever you work will hang you to protect themselves. That's just the way people are, and you can't change it. So while it may sound nice during an oral board, performance review, promotional exam, or just talking with co-workers to spout the "company first" "company always" "company company company" mantra, when you get back to reality you need to think "Now just how is this going to help ME". Because, believe me, everyone from your boss to the man at 1600 Penn. Ave in DC is thinking the same thing.

Now the good news. If you are a good employee then what you do to help "ME" is most always good for the company, so you both win!

[Stump]

There are actually a couple of things I see that may be part of the problem. Although I understand why you feel the way you do, keep in mind that the situations you have described have not been policy violations. They are simply the other guards' way of handling things. You are entitled to disagree with the handling, but in no way should you try to correct the behavior. I see all the time others handling things (in my opinion) stupidly or rudely. I just bite my tongue. The end result is the same - my co-workers may have pissed off the person they were talking to, but they got what they needed in the end. Wrong? Well, yes, but they didn't technically violate policy. Suck it up and let them handle things their way. I don't consider that failure at all on their part.
As far as you wanting to be the boss - I am sure they see that desire in you - are you already "acting" the part? As a supervisor, you have to pick your battles. You can't ride someone for everything wrong they do - not being able to put gloves on in a timely manner, etc. If they are disregarding POLICY, then supervisors can step in. If they cannot get along with ANY of their co-workers then a supv'r has to step in. Otherwise, all these little screw-ups will add up in their yearly performance review.
I disagree that you have to watch out for just yourself. If you are gunning to be a boss, then you have to be able to work with others and play nicely in the sandbox. Yes, nobody else is going to be watching out for you, but everyone else will be sure to blow you in when you screw up.
You have an uphill battle right now. The damage has already been done, and it will take a lot of effort on your part to undo it. Smile, talk to them, be nice to them. They will probably ignore you or possibly even be nasty for a while, but if you put in the effort, they will eventually come around. It will not happen overnight. You need to stop behaving like their boss, or you will never become one. I know it will be hard, and there will be slip-ups, but hang in there. Things will get better.

[Charlie]

Thumper--Please allow me to throw in a comment or two about what I see from what you've described:

* Your personal work standards sounds good from the standpoint that you apparently strive to go beyond the minimums. It sounds like perhaps the other officers are either intimidated and/or feel threatened by your level of performance in comparison to what they do on the job. This might be a possible reason for your alienation from them.

* Unless you are in a supervisory position or, have been given temporary authority to tell others what to do, be careful about "helping" the other officers out with any issues that may be at hand. You may have good intentions but the other officers may mistakenly perceive this as arrogance or, they don't recognize you as an "expert." This is especially apparent with older seasoned veterans.

* You may lack credibility with the senior officers in your department. That is, you may not have "earned" your respect yet. Usually, this is something that comes with time on the job and is eventual. The other officers see what you do in a variety of situations and when they see consistency with you level of performance, your abilities to effectively deal with a variety of situations in the proper way, you earn it without even knowing it!

* Actions speak louder than words - Officers generally figure out WHO is a screw up or an "***-kisser" pretty quickly. Or someone who is a glory hound whose sole interest is to look out for # 1.

There are a variety of possible reasons as to why you may be experiencing the problems you have on the job. It's tough trying to figure out what you'd have to do to make things a lot better. However, it starts at the top when one talks about levels of standards and performance expectations. Perhaps you exceed the norms of expectations and the others are resentful towards you? I dunno.

I don't kow what you could do to fix things but this is my general assessment of your situation. Maybe taking a lower profile might help if you wnt to stay there.

Nevertheless, good luck.
--
Charlie

[Thumper]

WOw lots of good advice! Im so glad I posted my question here.
You all have given me some awesome things to think about.

Even though I can go from the extreme of looking out for myself to working as a team player. I have the teams best interest in mind. And or at least try to.

LIke the one officer with health problems, he was having a rough go of it last night. Even though I know hes probably a little perterved with me mentioning this to base to mention to the boss. It did allow us to give him some easier tasks and allow him a breather for the evening.

When people have questions in regards to reports or anything in general, I do my very best to teach them. And I allways do, even if im in a time bind. I will take the heat later, and generally my managers understand.

I have been a supervisor before. I am currently trying to do everything I did right at that time to earn me a supervisory poisition or even just my supervisors trust to let me handle more calls on my own.


"You can't ride someone for everything wrong they do - not being able to put gloves on in a timely manner, etc."

He was trying to put on a glove size too small, and in trying to put them on was breaking the glove. Its not that I rode his *** on this issue, as I just stepped in. Times a wasting, shes bleeding, he cant get the glove on... I step in.

I want to teach some of these officers the right way in doing things, but its not my place as an equal u nless of course they come to me.


Before I go to St.Louis I want to hold a job for a year and allso advance in it too. Or at least go out with a bang..LOL Just a really good letter of recomendation.



"There are a variety of possible reasons as to why you may be experiencing the problems you have on the job. It's tough trying to figure out what you'd have to do to make things a lot better. However, it starts at the top when one talks about levels of standards and performance expectations. Perhaps you exceed the norms of expectations and the others are resentful towards you"

I would be an arrogant bastard for admiting that I exceed the normal expectations of an officer. BUT, I do. Maybe I just inherited my Grandfathers old school cop genes from back in the day, cuz every aspect of this job I excell at. Whew, that was a cocky statement! LOL

The last security job I was in at the stadium I made lead officer and supervisor for two nights out of the week in a months time after the Manager of the security department saw how well I handled things, and how compotent I was. Keep in mind that I was the youngest officer by 7 years, and the one with the least amount of prior experience including my animal control days.

I want to lead. Its not that Im a control freak, but I feel that is what I do best. I like to give positive direction and teach people. I like to expand on someones strengths to make them a better employee. I think sometimes that my desire to lead pisses people off. And I understand why, but thats just me.

T

[Charlie]

There's a saying I like to use:

"Anyone can demand respect BUT,....earning it is an entirely different matter."

You talk about how you like to lead and that it is something that is in you. But part of being a successeful leader is having the ability to motivate people. Now how do you do that if people don't like you to begin with OR, you start working some place and eventually make people dislike you??:confused: Your age, rank or title doesn't mean ****! You're just the poor SOB who's neck ends up on the chopping block if things don't get done the way they're suppose to!

I am not arrogant by any means but I have been in LE management for nearly 7-years my friend and one thing is definitely certain: "People who work WITH YOU or FOR YOU make or break you!!!" They hold your success in their hands. THEY can make you look like **** OR, make you look good! Very true indeed.....

From what you've described and is a true challenge for ANY leader is to figure out how to REALISTICALLY "fix" your situation? You've got a challenge on your hands! IF you ever become a supervisor over these guys, You've got to look at everyone you work with and evaluate their strengths and weaknesses, their abilities, etc. and figure out HOW to make it all work. OR, how to motivate them to improve themselves, or train them, send them to school, etc. Cause the decision makers on the outside of your organization don't give a ****. All they care about is results!

Believe me, I too have been given people who are, for lack of a better term, some of the least desireable people to work with that have a variety of problems or issues. BUT, the boss has the expectation that you're going to handle it and make it work somehow. The challenge is figuring it out and getting your people to work like a well-oiled machine!

Everything I've commented on may not apply to your situation as of right now BUT IF,...you eventually become the boss,....it sure would be nice to have a few more allies in the ranks to help you out with the others "in the trenches" working for you! Remember what I said: "People make or break you!" I don't give a damn where you work.....Food for thought.
--
Charlie

[Thumper]

"Now how do you do that if people don't like you to begin with OR, you start working some place and eventually make people dislike you?? Your age, rank or title doesn't mean ****! You're just the poor SOB who's neck ends up on the chopping block if things don't get done the way they're suppose to!"

1.I think the dislike comes from the fact that they dont see me pulling my wieght on the floor and are frustrated by this. When in reality, they dont realize I am actually doing alot of other important tasks, and Im constantly on the move doing something but Im not allways visible on the floor, and sometimes depending on the dispatcher I dont get my calls over the radio.

2. If things dont get done as they were susposed to I ask how I should have done it, or I ask for help from a senior officer. No ones perfect, and I dont know of a supervisor to date that does everything the way its susposed to.

"People who work WITH YOU or FOR YOU make or break you!!!" They hold your success in their hands. THEY can make you look like **** OR, make you look good! Very true indeed....."

1. Your right. Take when I was crew leader for the Conservation Corps. We were the most under manned team, but once I found everyones strengths we become the most productive. I had an awesome crew and we all worked great together.
You gotta understand Charlie, that it does in a way matter where you work. This particular security department has moral issues and a high turn over rate. Once you get to a point where you start working as a team people leave, and you gotta start over. Or just when you get someone trained perfectly, they leave..Cant handle the stress on their own.



"From what you've described and is a true challenge for ANY leader is to figure out how to REALISTICALLY "fix" your situation? You've got a challenge on your hands! IF you ever become a supervisor over these guys, You've got to look at everyone you work with and evaluate their strengths and weaknesses, their abilities, etc. and figure out HOW to make it all work. OR, how to motivate them to improve themselves, or train them, send them to school, etc. Cause the decision makers on the outside of your organization don't give a ****. All they care about is results!"

1. Thats why I need a little help. How do I re-build my trust with these people and fix my situation? I cant quit striving for perfection within myself because it makes everyone else irritable and jealous. Its thier problem that they feel inadequate and should step up to the plate......god that felt good to say!
They hate to write reports, so I took that opportunity to do the reports, and handle the responsibility for the immediate on scene investigations. I can clear a scene and complete a stellar report without interuptions in one hour.

They hate base, so again I took that responsibility on my own to fill the gap in dispatch...Despite that I was for my whole life terrified of talking on the phone. I over came the fear of talking on the phone and excelled in base.


IF I were the boss my 6 minute training during breifing would be far more interactive, I would aslo include more street smarts. Finally I would allow if we have one on shift, any current or retired police officer to give a few words of advice. I want to so much, get up their and add my two cents. But Im scared to death its going to bite me in the *** later on, Im not sure enough of myself yet to start giving words of advice..

[Stump]

Stop adding your own 2 cents. You don't need to keep trying to prove how much you know, even if it is to help out. We have a guy in my dept that constantly does that. He is trying to help, but it totally comes across that he thinks he is superman and wants to the know-it-all. And.... not one person that he works with likes him.
You'd be best to keep something in mind:
Sometimes it is better to leave your mouth shut and be thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

[Thumper]

Well I have only opened my mouth once,and that was to show the other side of what happened.

"But Im scared to death its going to bite me in the *** later on, Im not sure enough of myself yet to start giving words of advice.."

Generally unless asked I keep my trap shut, other wise I do the asking. I ask the senior officers and the supervisors questions all the time. I also ask the boss did I handle that right?

If I was a know it all I would have told that guy exactly why I stepped in, and I would have told the boss waaaaaaaaa he didnt wrong he should have done it this way waaaaaaaaaahhhh.

The only time Im a know it all is when Im training and even then I dont come across as one.

T

[gdowkpc]

You can be great and do things really well. Your supervisors already know this. But you need to be humble. My sister had a shirt 'It's hard to be humble when you're great'. The shirt might fit you.

I am good at a lot of things that I do. I am especially good with technology and use technology to my advantage. There are incredible amounts of data in out police data base, and some great ways to put relevanst stuff in. I am a big proponent of timely and correct information. I even use a palm pilot regulary. It is in my fron shirt pocket while I'm working.

To a lot of guys, that palm pilot is as dorky as a pocket protector. But I don't spend my time convincing them of how great and useful it is. This just gives them ammo. My partner used to be the biggest mouth when it came to proclaiming my geekness, but now he defends me when people mention the palm pilot. He even referred to it as 'quite cool', because he has seen how convenient it can be.

My partner struggles with the MDC a lot. He is like most people and only knows the most basic functions. There are a lot of things he would have to go on the air and ask the dispatcher to do for him. Not me, I learn how to be self-reliant. I can put the info in and get it back out with ease. But do I coach him when he does it the long way? No. He does it his way and I do it mine. He eventually notices how I do it and asks about it. I don't say he is doing it all wrong or that my way is better, I just show him, humbly, how to do it. And this extends beyond my partner.

Know how to do your job and do it well. Let others notice on their own. When they ask questions, don't boast. Just answer the question to the fulfill their minimum curiosity. If they want more, they'll ask. Any more than that and you make them feel inferior and inadequate. People don't like to feel this way. If they feel this way around you, they will associate the feeling with you and avoid you. Then they will figure out how to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

Have I been there. Yes. But there is hope. You can change the course, with time.

[Thumper]

WOW
Great words.
I like where your coming from.
I can think of a couple times, only a couple that I said something to the effect of Im awesome, thats why..but only to my then trainer, and in a very sarcastic tone.

I dont think its my words as much as it may be my body lingo, my facial expressions.

Thanks to all of you veteran officers I can take in all this great advice and put it to good use.

T

[Stump]

Thump,
I admire that you notice a problem and are prepared and willing to make a change. Sometimes when I notice a person (usually a cop :D ) making a bonehead mistake, I have to write down what a dumbass mistake it was, kvetch and moan in the note, then rip it up and throw it away. Vent over. LOL. Nobody around me has to listen to me moan and wail over what a dumbass that person was.