This is a different "You might be a Cop if..."

[Star]

You have the bladder capacity of five people;

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience;

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm;

Your idea of a good time is a robbery at shift change;

You run an NCIC on anyone that is friendly toward you;

You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal;

You can identify a negative "tattoo to tooth" ratio just by looking at a person;

You find humor in other people's stupidity;

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac;

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see;

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance;

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest;

You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce;

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here";

You refer to your asp as your "Dork Slayer";

You believe that chocolate is a food group;

You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick;

You have wanted to hold a seminar on "Suicide, getting it right the first time;

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid jury verdict;

You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably;

You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar;

You believe the dispatcher is possessed;

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form;

You're not referring to food when you mention vegetables;

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium salt lick;

You have heard: "I have no idea how that got there," on more than a few occasions;

You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone;

You correlate "two beers" with 0.15 BAC;

You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car;

You believe that it is a "good" death only if it involves overtime.

[w1zard]

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see;

I like that one, haha.

[cntryboy0531]

A lot of these are true. Hell, im only an academy recruit and a good chunk are all ready true to me. :D

Particuarly the..

"You think Caffeine should be available in I.V. form."

[Jeff L]

You refer to your asp as your "Dork Slayer";

That's great. :D

[Star]

That's great. :D

Though, I didn't write it. I certainly agree with it, Jeff.

[Rad Diver]

Most of it is da truth.

[ICEGrrl]

I love this! Very true!

[Mike Romeo]

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

Oh Yeah!!!! :D

And by road vehicles, handheld canisters, specific neighborhood tap water, ....

[mcsap]

I don't agree with the two beers equaling a .15 BAC, in reality they equal a .20 BAC

[cntryboy0531]

I don't agree with the two beers equaling a .15 BAC, in reality they equal a .20 BAC

Unless your in the south. Then a container of moonshine about the size of a beer could put you at .20 I think. :D

[massgrunt]

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience;

A little from column A, a little from column B. :D

[KittyMom]

What if you're not a cop but you agree with over half of them?

[w1zard]

What if you're not a cop but you agree with over half of them?

Then you live a life similar to a cops...

[APDSarge]

Your refer to Thursday as "your Monday"

[Colonel]

True