Partner Trouble

[sam911]

Hello Officers. It's Veterans day and I hope Its good day for you all. I'm a Paramedic who signed up to ask for your opinion and some advice about working with a disagreeable partner. I work in a very large & busy EMS system as a paramedic (5years). I know a lot of medics that feel we a few things in common with the Cops grinding away on the street in pairs. I work with you all every day and its always good to see you guys at the rodeo. I wanted to ask you about "partner" dynamics. You all seem to work together pretty smoothly or at least pretend to. Is my partner trouble bad or bad bad? I need a crusty Cop opinion. I don't want to talk about this idiocy at work. Experienced advice would help.

As medics we are always trying to get a "groove" and make calls run "smooth". A good team is like a machine, like ninjas but with amusing banter. EMS can be less than smooth when one partner wants to choke the other partner out. This is my problem at work.

My partner and I are driving each other nuts. He lashes out, argues and tries to boss me around even though I'm the senior medic! He is like a talking hemorrhoid in my ear- just stressing me out and bumming me out. He becomes loud and hostile when he is questioned about his methods. I think he takes his job home with him and broods about everything. I can see it. I guess he's got me brooding too now. To his credit he is very detail oriented, has some common sense and is able to boss around an entire fire house which is somewhat entertaining and inspiring because we are private medics and few have the balls to scold a firehouse. He tries to do good out here and has my back in dangerous situations. I am the senior medic but he is older and a lot crustier.

The issues of disagreement are petty and clinical but they have boiled over into a real **** show. I won't go into it. This guy flipped out a month ago over a disagreement so bad we downed the unit and end up yelling in the supes office. He writes a 4 page IR in an attempt to - I don't know - get me in trouble? He has nothing but a long strange list of every detail of every call I've run with him that he didn't like for the last month. Its filled with subjective clinical minutia and in the end he gets lectured by CES for being completely wrong about several things and I am told to try and "work it out" with my emotional partner. Our supes know I'm very solid and am clinically on point. I can be trusted to do the right thing and am easy to get along with. I have been in the street for longer than this medic and they recognize this by laughing and telling me to get back out there. Ok, not a problem. My only comments to my superiors were that my partner needs to control his anger and find a calm rational way of communicating. I could have gone on the attack but that is just lame.

So now we are back on the streets. I'm not a fan of this guy but he is my partner. Its starting up again, like a f-ing married couple that needs divorce. A day ago he throws a tantrum. The call was for a fall at ultra ritzy senior assisted living compound. At this place they have a clinic and sometimes we get "private" non-911 calls to transfer a resident to the ER. This fancy place has asked us to park in a locked little garage connected to a alley in the back because ambulances "look bad" and bum out the residents. In the case of a "private" clinic call we oblige them and ring a belll in the alley and the security guard comes down to escort us upstairs. This however was a 911 call from an apartment on the 7th floor at 2am. It was code 2 not a big deal. We pull into the alley and I get out and ring the bell and tell the guard to buzz the door open. He buzzes the door open and I place a pen in the door to hold it open. I go back to the rig to get the gurney and gear. The guard appears behind us and asks us to park inside the little garage. It opens up when he uses his special key to activate a roll-up metal door. I tell him I won't park in his little trap tonight and if he has info on the "Fall" in 712 - the guard has no idea that there is problem in 712. I'm standing with the gurney half way out the back and my partner starts to put the rig into reverse. I shout into the bus "Stop! we are NOT parking in that garage." My partner shouts back " Thats where they want us to park!" " I repeat myself louder and he turns off the rig and we go upstairs. He is obviously pissed and I'm tempted to punch his lights out. The reason I don't want to be in that garage is because Fire/PD etc can't see us and we are trapped inside unless the guard lets us out. We have no idea what is up there and may need back up or have to leave in a rush. Private building guards have no authority to tell EMS to lock their rig in a little garage in an emergency. I won't stand for it! Yes it is a code two and probably a little Grannie who fell - but that is irrelevant. That's my logic and its how I have been doing it for years. He is the rookie here but wants to do it his way-and be an *** on scene.

So after the call I'm driving as we clear the ER and he gets in my face yelling "this is how we are going to do it!" he's shouting, "We park in the damn Garage!" I tell him "Not a chance chief, your not running this show and your OUT OF LINE." He flips out yelling and crying and smashing the metal clipboard on dashboard like a nut against the dashboard until it breaks. Wow. I whip the bus over to the side of the street and say "what the f*** are you doing? Your done here man." His hand is bloody and slashed from smashing the clip board. He is quiet after his outburst from exhaustion and probably the epiphany that he has totally lost his mind. I pull us off the radio and put us out of service for a malfunction. He climbs in back to bandage his hand and I go outside to lite a cigarette. What in the hell is going on here? Is this guy insane?

I don't want to get this guy fired. He is being watched by the company for his temper and bad attitude towards coworkers and small mammals. He also has a fiance and he's about to a buy house. Losing this job could ruin his life. He's ten years older than me and kind of a sad f*** up. I tell him that he is screwing up on a cosmic scale and that if we can't work it here like adults then we can go to back to operations and I'll write his *** up. Possible termination. I mean this prick tried to get me fired and has a rep for being an unstable bastard, regardless, he is my partner and I feel that the honorable thing to do is work it out without putting somebodies job on the line.

I believe in the code. I believe that its our responsibility to look out for each other. Its a rough job and people struggle out here. I've heard of Medics beating each others asses on a few occasions in neighboring systems, but not this one. What goes on in other ambulances is a mystery to me.. While my partner is a being a monster I can't say I believe HR has much to offer anybody but a pink slip. I tell myself that sometimes it gets real nuts out here and maybe this is a normal part of this game. We squashed it and managed to keep our rocky partnership to ourselves for the night. We do good medicine in this busy system - Its just rough with this damn partner. I have never had a partner that was this much of a pain.

Should I drag him back to the boss ? Should I continue to take it one day at a time Should I wait until after the shift and break his teeth? Should I get my head checked? Is this within the realm of normal?

[Trip]

Hello Officers. It's Veterans day and I hope Its good day for you all. I'm a Paramedic who signed up to ask for your opinion and some advice about working with a disagreeable partner. I work in a very large & busy EMS system as a paramedic (5years). I know a lot of medics that feel we a few things in common with the Cops grinding away on the street in pairs. I work with you all every day and its always good to see you guys at the rodeo. I wanted to ask you about "partner" dynamics. You all seem to work together pretty smoothly or at least pretend to. Is my partner trouble bad or bad bad? I need a crusty Cop opinion. I don't want to talk about this idiocy at work. Experienced advice would help.

As medics we are always trying to get a "groove" and make calls run "smooth". A good team is like a machine, like ninjas but with amusing banter. EMS can be less than smooth when one partner wants to choke the other partner out. This is my problem at work.

My partner and I are driving each other nuts. He lashes out, argues and tries to boss me around even though I'm the senior medic! He is like a talking hemorrhoid in my ear- just stressing me out and bumming me out. He becomes loud and hostile when he is questioned about his methods. I think he takes his job home with him and broods about everything. I can see it. I guess he's got me brooding too now. To his credit he is very detail oriented, has some common sense and is able to boss around an entire fire house which is somewhat entertaining and inspiring because we are private medics and few have the balls to scold a firehouse. He tries to do good out here and has my back in dangerous situations. I am the senior medic but he is older and a lot crustier.

The issues of disagreement are petty and clinical but they have boiled over into a real **** show. I won't go into it. This guy flipped out a month ago over a disagreement so bad we downed the unit and end up yelling in the supes office. He writes a 4 page IR in an attempt to - I don't know - get me in trouble? He has nothing but a long strange list of every detail of every call I've run with him that he didn't like for the last month. Its filled with subjective clinical minutia and in the end he gets lectured by CES for being completely wrong about several things and I am told to try and "work it out" with my emotional partner. Our supes know I'm very solid and am clinically on point. I can be trusted to do the right thing and am easy to get along with. I have been in the street for longer than this medic and they recognize this by laughing and telling me to get back out there. Ok, not a problem. My only comments to my superiors were that my partner needs to control his anger and find a calm rational way of communicating. I could have gone on the attack but that is just lame.

So now we are back on the streets. I'm not a fan of this guy but he is my partner. Its starting up again, like a f-ing married couple that needs divorce. A day ago he throws a tantrum. The call was for a fall at ultra ritzy senior assisted living compound. At this place they have a clinic and sometimes we get "private" non-911 calls to transfer a resident to the ER. This fancy place has asked us to park in a locked little garage connected to a alley in the back because ambulances "look bad" and bum out the residents. In the case of a "private" clinic call we oblige them and ring a belll in the alley and the security guard comes down to escort us upstairs. This however was a 911 call from an apartment on the 7th floor at 2am. It was code 2 not a big deal. We pull into the alley and I get out and ring the bell and tell the guard to buzz the door open. He buzzes the door open and I place a pen in the door to hold it open. I go back to the rig to get the gurney and gear. The guard appears behind us and asks us to park inside the little garage. It opens up when he uses his special key to activate a roll-up metal door. I tell him I won't park in his little trap tonight and if he has info on the "Fall" in 712 - the guard has no idea that there is problem in 712. I'm standing with the gurney half way out the back and my partner starts to put the rig into reverse. I shout into the bus "Stop! we are NOT parking in that garage." My partner shouts back " Thats where they want us to park!" " I repeat myself louder and he turns off the rig and we go upstairs. He is obviously pissed and I'm tempted to punch his lights out. The reason I don't want to be in that garage is because Fire/PD etc can't see us and we are trapped inside unless the guard lets us out. We have no idea what is up there and may need back up or have to leave in a rush. Private building guards have no authority to tell EMS to lock their rig in a little garage in an emergency. I won't stand for it! Yes it is a code two and probably a little Grannie who fell - but that is irrelevant. That's my logic and its how I have been doing it for years. He is the rookie here but wants to do it his way-and be an *** on scene.

So after the call I'm driving as we clear the ER and he gets in my face yelling "this is how we are going to do it!" he's shouting, "We park in the damn Garage!" I tell him "Not a chance chief, your not running this show and your OUT OF LINE." He flips out yelling and crying and smashing the metal clipboard on dashboard like a nut against the dashboard until it breaks. Wow. I whip the bus over to the side of the street and say "what the f*** are you doing? Your done here man." His hand is bloody and slashed from smashing the clip board. He is quiet after his outburst from exhaustion and probably the epiphany that he has totally lost his mind. I pull us off the radio and put us out of service for a malfunction. He climbs in back to bandage his hand and I go outside to lite a cigarette. What in the hell is going on here? Is this guy insane?

I don't want to get this guy fired. He is being watched by the company for his temper and bad attitude towards coworkers and small mammals. He also has a fiance and he's about to a buy house. Losing this job could ruin his life. He's ten years older than me and kind of a sad f*** up. I tell him that he is screwing up on a cosmic scale and that if we can't work it here like adults then we can go to back to operations and I'll write his *** up. Possible termination. I mean this prick tried to get me fired and has a rep for being an unstable bastard, regardless, he is my partner and I feel that the honorable thing to do is work it out without putting somebodies job on the line.

I believe in the code. I believe that its our responsibility to look out for each other. Its a rough job and people struggle out here. I've heard of Medics beating each others asses on a few occasions in neighboring systems, but not this one. What goes on in other ambulances is a mystery to me.. While my partner is a being a monster I can't say I believe HR has much to offer anybody but a pink slip. I tell myself that sometimes it gets real nuts out here and maybe this is a normal part of this game. We squashed it and managed to keep our rocky partnership to ourselves for the night. We do good medicine in this busy system - Its just rough with this damn partner. I have never had a partner that was this much of a pain.

Should I drag him back to the boss ? Should I continue to take it one day at a time Should I wait until after the shift and break his teeth? Should I get my head checked? Is this within the realm of normal?

What an outstanding question. I think this is a universal question so I can hardly wait to hear the responses. Btw, I'm not a first responder, but would love all the "crusty" answers

[Joeyd6]

It has never happened to me, but has to my co-workers. Here is what they did:
1) They tried to "hang-out" off-duty a few times.
2) Had the old heart to heart.
3) Either began to work like a team or both went to the boss, together, stating for the benefit of all, a partner switch was required.

[Curt581]

Marital councilling.

[pac201]

A lot of issues there. You will never be able to resolve it yourself. Document-if it ain't writ down it didn't happen...And I agree with Joey, you need a switch in partners, if the powers that be cannot see that, maybe you should consider going to another agency.

ymmv

.02

[sam911]

You know the weird thing is that we work "big calls" together great. Shootings, Rollovers, Codes, Kung-Fu type stuff. Every time we do some made for TV stuff we are cold as ice. I mean when its a crazy call he listens and is rational. Example: He had lady that was about probably 60 seconds from coding, she was having the big big one. You don't see heart attacks more acute, massive or deadly the beast she came down with. We look at each other and just picked her up and started to move, while dumping meds on board and doing a 12 lead. He wanted to go to closest ER. I said, no way dude, that ER has no cath lab (cardiac surgery), she will die waiting for CCT to transfer, he almost started to argue and I said "there is a loophole, trust me man its in the back of the protocol, we are going to the other ER! Get in" This had blowout potential, but he shut up trusted me. The protocol says the "closest hospital"l for unstable and "the most appropriate". Technically we have no real STEMI destination in this city because of bureaucratic bungling. So it is up to Paramedics with some brains to make the call to bypass an ER and get a cardiac directly into surgery. They don't these new medics these tricks. This guy didn't know this nuance because he was so green this system. This stuff is serious serious stuff for medics. Its like our "use of force continuum", we f*** up, people die and we get crucified. So had to trust me. This was our first week.
So basically I told him I was taking his crumping patient to a far away er and bypassing an close er. Maybe its because he was off his game - regardless, he argues about everything normally, trusted my call on his call and she lived. She coded on the table as we slid over in the ER and she was defibrillator twice, got a rhythm back he finished his report and she went upstairs and got the left anterior artery cathed. This lady was like 45. She walked out alive and felt great. We have had many calls like this, were we are just pimps and look like rock stars. Were we interact and put our brains together and make it happen. It usually takes a war zone though. We both recognize after these bad *** calls that we know our stuff and there is respect. Its the stupid crap, like who gets to decide some random detail were its a struggle. We agree on lot of fundamentals. Scene management is everything, never believe a heroin addict, don't antagonize drunk Samoans, always keep ice in your veins and never drive fast and stupid...

He came from another city so he has EMS cultural baggage. I know that city and its rough and the medics are cowboys who walk on water. Its ultra violent poor and black, you know the story. They are the EMS version of LAPD in the 80's, they are the ones fighting each other in the parking lot. Everybody hates those medics because they are so cocky and rude. I went there for a summer and came home. It was too crazy and I was too green. I'm sure police departments can be as different as any large organization. I mean New Orleans vs. Houston? Or LA vs SF? I don't know, I have no knowledge of police work. I am an outsider but love to watch Law and Order, The Wire and NYPD Blue, I love that stuff. Huge egos in this hero biz.

[sam911]

We will be swapping out in month hopefully. I need a break.

[mcsap]

This guy NEEDS to go for your own safety and welfare not to mention it is having a detrimental effect on the care of your patients.

DOcument , document , document.

Be profesional and polite but be factual. Sorry this guy is buying a house etc. The well being of two crew members that are to work TOGETHER in providing emergency medical care is quite important in the big picture. A boss needs to step and remind him who is in charge on the rig and how things are going to work. He can either get with the program or be replaced.

[kels]

I agree, write the EVERYTHING thing down and give it to the supervisor.
To cover your assets, have a copy put in YOUR employee file
and put another one away in your own records.
(include the part about damaging dept equip and hurting self)
With the info given here, you partner is about to self destruct.
And the fallout is gonna be very BAD.

[sam911]

Hey thanks guys. I wrote all the above after a long shift and a few beers. I appreciate you all responding. I needed to just say that stuff somewhere. Partner is moving to another shift and I think I'm getting a mellow female EMT partner in the next shift bid. So all I need to do is hang in there two more weeks and maybe burn the remainder of my vacation time.

[scott715us]

Late to the thread, but I will add my .02. My background has both EMS and LE experience so I can relate. You need to document everything if these situations continue to occur. Under federal law, employees of EMS services (just as anyone else) have a right to work in a hostile-free work environment. If these outbursts continue to happen, I would go up the chain to have it addressed. If it's not addressed, document that too. The supervision can be held just as liable, if not more liable, for failing to act on these reports. I believe burn-out occurs more with paramedics than it does with LEOs. You just don't see many paramedics retiring, unless they get assigned in some hall out in the end of the county with a low run volume and run out their time there.

I would say that you guys work well with the serious calls because you don't have time to get into a pi**in match about the little things. If he gets so bent out of shape about every little thing outside of the serious calls, then it's going to make your job suck and you already have enough to deal with. Hopefully you will be rid of him soon, but your employer is not making it easy on themselves by allowing this type of stuff to occur between this clown and every partner he ends up with. Soon enough a civil action may arise and the agency will be dead in the water when the amount of evidence comes to light and they took no action to remedy the situation. He may be a great paramedic when it comes to the clinical aspect of things, but that doesn't mean he's meant for the job. If he can't control his emotions, he needs to find a new line of work. That's not only for the employer's benefit, but for his as well. He will stroke out within five years if he stays tweaked out like you imply he does.