Funniest 911 Calls You've Ever Received

[Dad_Of_4]

I am new here, and I'm sure this has been done before. I read through a bunch of posts but my eyes are killing me! I wouldlove for everyone to list their funniest 911 calls from civilians and or officers.I'm sure there must be alot of them!

[JustADispatcher]

I once got a call from a regular who is "10-96" (not all there). He was demanding to speak to Lt. Dangle immediately. Lt.Dangle is the officer from the Reno 911 television show.

Also, a lady called in because she forgot her phone number and wanted 911 to give it to her.

Finally another lady called because a dog came in through her doggie door and started "marking" all her furniture.

[locokarma]

I've had a few, but our "regular" subject used to call and say "they" were follwing him again and sending messages thru his radio. And of course there were the helicopters following and beaming messages to him. :D
Of course, he hasn't called in awhile.... I wonde what happened to him?

But the best one a few years ago, a young lady called on 911 and said she was running late to a beauty pageant, and wanted us to give her an escort.

:rolleyes:

[kels]

In the town I started in, we got a 911 call of Mr Smiths goat being out.
I find said goat and grab one horn.
Here I am idleing down the street with the goat strolling along beside
the car as I have it by the horn.
Thankfully it was only two blocks back to the pen.
Everyone else thought it was funny for some reason:mad:

[Retired Trooper]

Even though this we don't handle 911 calls just highway calls this was funny. At least to me. A trooper was indicted on civil rights violations and after a week long trial he was found not guilty on the Friday. I got to work and took my first call at 7:00 am which is when I go on duty. So I answer the usual way and I get this. F----- u Mfers the constitution will prevail, the f----ing constition will prevail the he hung up. I didn't even get a chance to say good morning.

[Piggy]

We had a 911 call of a depressed guy who was suicidal. He was in his 70's, his wife was the same age.

I found him driving around, he was really evasive in answers. He finally admitted that he didn't want to stay at home because his wife was using a vibrator and it was making him sick so he decided to leave for the night.

Try telling dispatch what happened with that one over the radio.

[jb5722]

we got a call from our dispatchers for all units in the county to bolo for alien spacecraft reportedly observed in the sky moving at a high rate of speed. caller advised he is a janitor at the airport and advised that he could tell the the object was definitely not a human aircraft due to his expert knowledge of aircraft from his job. the caller wanted the air force advised but they declined his request on that one.

[PVPD124]

We have 4 or 5 "regular" callers but the most fun is the lady that swears someone came in her house and she darn well wants a cop over here now to do the CSI stuff on like TV to tell if the intruder tainted her chicken nuggets.

Then a week later she called and I heard shots being fired. When I asked her what's going on she stated "I'm shooting the little black aliens off my ceiling fan."

She got a free escort to the inpatient facility (Nut House) upstate that night .

[GRYDE001]

Had a call one night where a lady said she needed assistance because she couldn't get the interior dome light off in her car.

Another call one Sunday afternoon, someone had hit a caw the night before and some random guy was out there beheading the thing causing traffic to back up. All the PETA nuts were calling in like it was no tommorrow.

[CincyCop]

I was in the District doing some paperwork from patrol that night and happened to pass by the front desk where one of my fellow Officers was on desk duty...and was on the phone with a caller that claimed a UFO was hovering over their house (which was near the municipal airport). The desk Officer flagged me down (since I have some knowledge of aviation) and had me speak to the caller. I had been on the road previously that night and had seen the Goodyear blimp conducting flight ops in the area of the municipal airport so I figured that's what it was. I tried to explain this to the caller but she wasn't buying it...even though the description of the UFO matched that of the Goodyear blimp. They wanted a patrol car dispatched to their house asap to shoot the UFO down. Dang. LOL!

[deputywave]

City PD got a good one last year. Lady calls 911 reporting that demons were doing her laundry. She said that she locked them up in her car. Officers respond and find her dog and cat locked in the car. She won a 3 day, all expenses trip to the loony bin.