Prison Stories...

[chadc84]

Like most law enforcement jobs this one has its stories just wondering if anyone from the corrections field had any to share? You know the usual seeing inmates drunk of hooch, or the units prostitutes anything like that?

[Prometheus]

This is one is my favorite:

One day I was assigned to transport an inmate to Administrative Confinement pending a disciplinary hearing. Part of this duty is packing up the inmates property for storage. So as I'm cataloging inmate Slankard's property, I notice several letters he's received from a Shelia Slankard.

Later on, as I'm processing the inmate into confinement, I'm making small talk with him. "So, Slankard, where are you from anyway?"
"Apopka", he says.
"Apopka", I repeat. "Hey, do you by anychance know a SHELIA Slankard?"
"Yeah", he says, "That's my wife".
My eyes get wide and my eyebrows go up. "Really? Huh."

Then I just walked away.

Some days I love my job. :D :D

[Lawson]

This is one is my favorite:

One day I was assigned to transport an inmate to Administrative Confinement pending a disciplinary hearing. Part of this duty is packing up the inmates property for storage. So as I'm cataloging inmate Slankard's property, I notice several letters he's received from a Shelia Slankard.

Later on, as I'm processing the inmate into confinement, I'm making small talk with him. "So, Slankard, where are you from anyway?"
"Apopka", he says.
"Apopka", I repeat. "Hey, do you by anychance know a SHELIA Slankard?"
"Yeah", he says, "That's my wife".
My eyes get wide and my eyebrows go up. "Really? Huh."

Then I just walked away.

Some days I love my job. :D :D

Maybe I'm missing something... you are going through an inmates inventory and he has some letters and he says they're from his wife???? :confused:

[Sierra]

Maybe I'm missing something... you are going through an inmates inventory and he has some letters and he says they're from his wife???? :confused:

It's called a 'mindf***'. He insinuated he knew the inmate's wife, and now the inmate is left to wonder how and why. Since the guy is locked up, he will likely think the worst. I didn't think it was a particularly funny thing to do, but I imagine some of the pranks I have done wouldn't have passed muster elsewhere, either.

[Titansfanmjfink]

We had this guy that was both drunk off his *** and cracked out big time. He was being an idiot during booking and giving us a hard time. So we book him and lock him in a cell. Well we have an access tunnel in our jail that runs behind the cells so we can turn the water off to individual cells. So I climbed back there, and with only a cinderblock wall between me and the turd, I started talking to him. I started talking like I was another inmate in solitary. I described solitary to him as a dark hole in the wall behind the cells. I told him that the D/Os beat me and abused me.

So this guy starts freaking out and tells one of the other D/Os about the "guy in the wall" talking to him. The other D/O tells him there is no solitary in a city jail. He says that years ago a prisoner hung himself in that cell and that other prisoners have heard what he was hearing. Best as we can figure, its the guy's ghost. ;)

So this guy wigs out, starts trying to pull his cell door open, he's crying and he continues to hear "the ghost" long after I stopped talking to him... Long story short... don't do drugs kids.

[tps_co]

We had a kid about 19 years old in for murder. He went to bail court and was detained. He's thinking that he's big time because he's in for murder so he's acting like a tough guy. We put him in the Don Jail cells and minutes later he picks a fight. This large black prisoner grabs him around the neck, sits him down on the bench and proceeds to beat him senseless. We (the co's) go into the cells to break it up, one of our guys grabs the kid and starts dragging him out, at the same time one of the officers says "What the hell is that smell?" It turns out the kid **** himself when he was taking the beating. So we put him in a sep dry cell that's called the bridal(because it's small and has no toilet). There was a styrofoam cup in there left from lunch time. The prisoner had taken the turb out of his underwear and put it in the cup!

Later when the time came to move him to another cell the prisoner leaves the bridal without thaking the cup. So he's told to go back in and get it. So here's this prisoner who took a beating and it walking through the cell area carrying a cup with a turd in it! We had to make him a P2 (protective custody) because he smelled so bad!