Work vs home...

[SANE-A30]

Ok I wasn't going to post this on here but you guys/gals might be able to give me some insight on how to handle this in an appropriate manner, last night i was told by my S/o that I am " UNAPPRECIATIVE" ???

and honestly it REALLY REALLY hurt my feelings, b/c I tell him all the time how grateful I am for him , I know that it CANNOT be me, but rather his work his work sucks the life out of him, it's a very demanding job, ok so my house is not spotless does that really mean I don't appreciate him?? I also work 12 and 14 hr shifts, so it's not like I am sitting at home 24/7 being lazy...I'm hurt and a little ticked off! I honestly feel like I AM THE UNAPPRECIATED ONE..... so he tells me that last night then calls me this morning to take him to drop off his work truck, and asked if I would take his personal truck to get his tires rotated, and I caved b/c I do want to do things for him, I should... I guess I'm just hurt, so what should i do attempt to step up my game with "appreciating" him more??? ( not sure if that's even possible), blow up, or ignore it.... and let it pass. I HATEEEEEEEE confrontations, we've been together for ten yrs too. what would you do? How do you cope with stress from the job vs home.?

[retdetsgt]

Tell him it hurt your feelings. He can argue with what you think, but not how you feel.

[SANE-A30]

Tell him it hurt your feelings. He can argue with what you think, but not how you feel.

Very good point, I just don't want to be OVERDRAMATIC which most women are....he will just argue that I am the above instead of giving specific examples ( which he has none), I am his venting spot with work b/c he knows I love him enough to put up with all his rotating personalities lol...THANK GOD FOR PATIENCE! but it still does'nt make it easier.....

[retdetsgt]

That's not being over dramatic. What you think may be BS, but what you feel is real. He wants examples because he can argue about them. Just tell him that it hurt when he said you didn't appreciate him and that you do your best to support him.

And being supportive isn't synonymous with being a door mat. My wife was a social worker with CPS when we married and we both had stressful jobs. She started taking out her bad day on me and I put a halt to that right away. I'm be glad to listen, but I'm not going to be anyone whipping post.

[SANE-A30]

[QUOTE=retdetsgt;1115732]That's not being over dramatic. What you think may be BS, but what you feel is real. He wants examples because he can argue about them. Just tell him that it hurt when he said you didn't appreciate him and that you do your best to support him.

No I asked him to provide me with specific examples of how he thought I was unappreciative, so that if I was then I could change it, I sympathise with having a crappy day and coming home in a bad mood we have all done it... i can't tell you how many times i have cried all the way home ( 45 minutes) from work b/c it was bad lot's of codes, stress but I have NEVER carried it on my back through the door..b/c of this very reason, atleast I am wise enough to know it's not really me...