My LEO husband of 17yrs said "I dont love you anymore" :banghead:

[Trip]

Karma defined.

Yep

[tesw911]

I am the daughter of an LEO and I met my husband 3 yrs before he became a cop. I have watched his career flourish and been very proud of him, our family and our marraige. Two yrs ago, he watched his younger brother die in front of him from mesothelioma. He started shutting down after that. A little at a time, from me and our 2 boys. I knew it was the grief at first, then I just thought ??? Needless to say, I say no problems in our marraige at all. WE WERE HAPPY. On Feb 28th, he came home from a night at his mom's and just blurted out... "I want a divorce. I dont love you any more" I was devasted. Still am. I found out 2 weeks later that he was talking to an old girlfriend, from 25 yrs ago. He started talking to her, Feb 9th. Thats about when his mood and sleeping had changed. He moved out Apr 9th and since then has become someone else, lying -to me and boys. I have watched my life go down the tubes in 5 months. How do I get past the hurt?????????????

WELL... THIS WAS ME... ONE YEAR AGO!!

Now I am doing okay. I have my moments here & there but they don't hurt as bad now. And as my father keeps saying... "Your still a cops daughter & a cops wife, ex or not, because of our kids"!

[tesw911]

Karma... Has become my new motto!

Thanks

[mcsap]

This is a rare instance in which I don't mind that an old thread comes back to life.

I am glad you are doing better / well. Another person can do a lot to bring you down but at some point , you have to take over and bring yourself back up. Sounds like you have done that.

[kels]

Glad you are still with us.
I would imagine the last year has been rough for you
and the boys.
I do hope it is getting better.
As a teenager whose parents went though this,
I can tell you it does turn everyones life upside down.
Try not to dwell on the divorce and I hope someone
special comes along for you and the boys.

[tesw911]

Thank you for the kind words of wisdom. And yes, this has been a very rough year but I have also rediscovered
myself & learned some new things as well. My boys & I have grown stronger through this. And that's all that matters in the end, my boys! They are good boys and they know they are loved by both of us.

[tesw911]

Last week, I had one of those feelings I get when something has happened or is wrong with my family. Fortunately it is usually just minor stuff BUT it has always been accurate.

SO... My husband (soon to be ex), calls me the next night & tells me that he had TWO close calls in one night. He said, "he was still alive only by pure chance/luck".

Then he asked me if I wanted to hear what happened and that he hadn't told anyone else about it, including his girlfriend, which surprised me but he said he didnt feel comfortable talking to her about it.

To be a little more accurate, both incidents were extremely sudden and life threatening. It was so traumatic that everyone was telling him to go find a place to hide for a while, his Sgt finally told him that he was tempting fate and ordered him to go park his patrol car somewhere quiet for an hour or so.

While he is telling me about what had happened, I was in a state of shock, shaking & crying silently the whole time. After he told me everything, I told him to take it easy, relax and try to get some rest & I was here if he needed me. Then we hung up and I lost it.

I am so confused and scared. I keep feeling like I have no right to feel like I this anymore, (remembering a comment he made months ago... "just get over it, its over") but I am still his wife and the mother of his children. I know I will always love my husband for all we shared for 19 years. I guess its just that I am scared to death to lose him! Yet I already have.

[Aussie George]

If you are still on good enough terms that he feels comfortable to turn to you for support at this time, then at least for your children, that is a good thing, even if the relationship is over (or has dramatically changed).

No divorce is a great thing, but some are handled better than others. If you guys can still hold a conversation that is a good thing. Just because the marriage is over, does not mean that all forms of a relationship need be.

My family tree forks in ways that one should not. My father had a son, divorced, met my Mum, left my Mum, she had me (I was going to be adopted out but my mother decided to keep me after my father left the scene), he then remarried and had two daughters, divorced her and FINALLY has a wife who is a keeper!!!

I met him when I was 16 and we had a rocky period but now are great mates and he is a good guy. Actually he is a great guy.

I have sat at a table at his place with my two half sisters, their mother (and her new husband), my Dad's wife, and my Mum and step-dad, and we all had a great night with no weird feelings at all.

In fact my Mum, and my Dad's wife are friends and both went out wedding dress shopping with my wife because her mum was not able to.

My point is, that despite you and your husband have gone separate ways as far as the marriage, there are going to be endless times in the future that you will have to be in contact, and whatever happened in the past it is SO much better if you guys can be friends/friendly. It is a good thing that he felt comfortable enough to share this info with you.

I don't think you will lose him, just that your roles have changed as have your lives.

I hope it all works out for you all. Take care.

[pabgyanghao]

sorry to hear that. a lot of prayers will do. maybe, you have a better life without him. just keep on praying and attending to your children.