LEO relationships & fidelity

[dialynna]

I and another single woman are fairly new at a local precinct we're working at (and we're non-LEO currently if that matters). Another person stated that LEO 'always cheat and change partners regularly'. I don't believe it.

I don't believe that would be any truer in LEO than in most environments where the same individuals spend time together all the time, although maybe the high stress and kind of closed community impact LEO somewhat more.

I'm not personally concerned right now since I just ended a 13-year relationship and I'm not looking. But I found out in the same conversation noted above that the one guy (that I might have been tempted by after a while) is married so he's no longer a temptation. If, after time, I do meet someone I'm interested in that's LEO, am I foolish to chance it?

I don't think I would be as long as I do like I would for anyone - make sure they're decent and moral before I become involved. Everything else seems like it would be working as partners and taking it step-by-step just like with anyone else (although more difficult due to the nature of the LEO world - stress, disillusionment, long hours, & uhhhh, nothing else, right? kidding ...).

Thanks for any feedback - I'll share it with the other 'new' woman at the precinct too since she was hurt by the comments, due to her interest in another and her future as a LEO.

[Darin]

Yeah...well sorry but I'm married....you can only drool but not on the mullet.

[Creeker]

I've never been anything but a Cop as an adult, and I'm retired.

I met and married my wife of 24 years (soon) while I was working the midnight shift during my second year on the job.

Thats not forever, but it's nothing to sneeze at in this day and age.

I've never strayed, nor has she.

I've known guys and gals who have, but I don't know that it is any more prevalent in LE than any other occupation, although I've known guys who have used it as an excuse.

Sure, the temptation and opportunity is there, but if both parties are honorable and really understand what the ramifications of swearing an Oath are, I fail to see the excuse as a reality.

I've often wondered why Defense Attorneys haven't made infidelity an issue on a multiply married Cop on the witness stand.

[Darin]

I've often wondered why Defense Attorneys haven't made infidelity an issue on a multiply married Cop on the witness stand.

Because they are just as guilty if not more so than cops.

[greg72982]

I want to know where all of this temptation and opportunity is...

In three years on the road I've dated one girl I met while working, as she worked in the local convenience store.

[Creeker]

Because they are just as guilty if not more so than cops.

But they don't swear to tell the truth in Court.;)

[Darin]

But they don't swear to tell the truth in Court.;)

Coincidence? NOT!!!!!!!!

[dialynna]

Keepi' it dry lol!! ;) ty for the feedback -- Darin, your mullet is dry except for some Mt Deewww you spilled - ty for letting me drool though. Creeker, congrats on a long and faithful marriage and for confirming what I hoped. We all encounter temptation and everyone, LEO & civilians, decide individually whether to act on it or not. And Greg -- don't go looking for temptation sweetie!! (unless you're single lol)

[greg72982]

And Greg -- don't go looking for temptation sweetie!! (unless you're single lol)

Actually I am single so I'm looking more for opportunity than temptation

[retdetsgt]

I saw more philandering around me when I was a salesman than I did as a cop.

I admit I got hit on as a cop, but usually by women who were desperate to find a "hero" to save them from their miserable lives. It wasn't difficult to ignore them because everything around them spelled disaster.....:rolleyes: The cops I knew that did play around with those types almost always regretted it at some point.

There was a little intramural stuff, but not very much at all considering the size of my dept. Again, I can't imagine it was worse than at an insurance company.

[MP_Steve]

Most importantly, it is best to realize that if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat, regardless of their occupation, and there is nothing you are going to be able to do to stop them. It is best to pick your partner by their values and morals, loyalty, integrity, and honesty over anything else.

I can tell you about the military side of things from current experience, more or less to vent on the topic. I'm currently deployed in Baghdad. I live in close quarters with about 130 soldiers, male and female.

I observe that the married females are guiltier of having extra-marital relationships than the married males, probably since there is less opportunity for the desiring males given the ratio between the sexes.

Infidelity seems to be common place in a deployed environment. It's almost as if their "personal baggage" gets left behind in the states and they're free to do whatever or whoever they want. Perhaps this is just part of military culture.

It just went as far as recently a fellow soldier set up a MySpace account, posting all the pairs of sexual partners (a few repeat names), inviting the spouses back home to view the list. That created quite the interesting situation, both here and back home.

What's more disturbing to me is the fact that most partaking in such infidelity are so nonchalant about their affairs, not caring about how this will affect their personal lives, and not making much of any attempt to conceal their relationships. Personally I'm very satisfied with one partner, my wife, and have no desire for anything more.

On a separate note, I am a firm believer that this is why females do not belong in military service, especially in a combat zone. The males don't need the distraction and the females don't need to be around to provide it. There is no business for sex being on the battlefield.

The only reason I support this argument is because there are predominately more males than females serving our country. If the opposite were true, I'd support an army of entirely female soldiers.

Actually, I think that would be quite interesting. ;)

[QldCop]

[Most importantly, it is best to realize that if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat, regardless of their occupation, and there is nothing you are going to be able to do to stop them. It is best to pick your partner by their values and morals, loyalty, integrity, and honesty over anything else.] MP_Steve

Mate I agree with you!!!

I haven't been married for that long but; married for 5 years and together for total of 8yrs...
(same woman, hehe)
It just a sad case of affairs "to use the phrase" , but here the ratio is around 3 in 5 marriages will fail either to "infide.. infidelit... SLEEPING AROUND" or just that they cant keep together when you're always apart with work...
i too have never cheated on her and never will, same with her

[kels]

Before you pull that zipper down, just remember what child support and alimony are gonna cost you.

PS, if they are going to be unfaithful with you, who else have they been unfaithful with.

[greg72982]

I'd like to know at what point everyone became such cheaters. I see it EVERYWHERE, LEO and non-LEO.

I think the problem is people marry too young these days. If you're going to be with someone forever what's the rush anyway?

[Chef_Au]

A wise man once said to me:
A badge can get you a girl
But a girl can always get your badge

(He used more colourful language)

Being in a confined environment and stressful situations can lead people to each other. I have dated a few coppers and been with a few ambos and nurses. Its great having someone that understands the job and the stresses.

BUT, I dont think there is anymore cheating than in any other role.

If you want root rats, have a look at real estate agents!