Question about my past

[JJ333]

How's it going everyone? My name is John and I am new to these forums. I just became extremely interested in a LE career in the last 3-4 years. I have a degree in psychology with a minor in business; I was told by a state trooper at a job fair to choose a degree other than CJ and I figured psych would allow me to help people in or out of LE.

So, my past:

-No arrests
-Pulled over 3 times. Ticket once. Last time pulled over 5 years ago.
-Drink occasionally, nothing crazy.
-Tried weed 6-7 times. Last time over 3 years ago.

So my concern about my past and a possible disqualification during BI. About 8 years ago when I was 16 I had a relationship with the sister of one of my friends who was 4 years younger than me. Flame away if you'd like, I know what I did was extremely wrong and I promise I'm as disgusted as the next guy. I would say that it was puberty or my friends egging me on, but honestly those would just be excuses; there are none. There are no charges or LE knowledge of this event although both parents found out. Worst time of my life, and I cannot begin to imagine what this other family went through. I have no problem admitting this to a BI, assuming I get that far. Although it is embarrassing, it is something that happened in my life and unfortunately I cannot change it.

I feel that I am a different person than I was then. I am no longer a loner looking for whatever approval or attention I can get. I am an adult with a steady job over the last 4 years, more responsible friends, a college degree, and a set of rock hard morals.

Hiding this event is NOT an option, so either it will or will not disqualify me. What do you think?

[Creeker]

How's it going everyone? My name is John and I am new to these forums. I just became extremely interested in a LE career in the last 3-4 years. I have a degree in psychology with a minor in business; I was told by a state trooper at a job fair to choose a degree other than CJ and I figured psych would allow me to help people in or out of LE.

So, my past:

-No arrests
-Pulled over 3 times. Ticket once. Last time pulled over 5 years ago.
-Drink occasionally, nothing crazy.
-Tried weed 6-7 times. Last time over 3 years ago.

So my concern about my past and a possible disqualification during BI. About 8 years ago when I was 16 I had a relationship with the sister of one of my friends who was 4 years younger than me. Flame away if you'd like, I know what I did was extremely wrong and I promise I'm as disgusted as the next guy. I would say that it was puberty or my friends egging me on, but honestly those would just be excuses; there are none. There are no charges or LE knowledge of this event although both parents found out. Worst time of my life, and I cannot begin to imagine what this other family went through. I have no problem admitting this to a BI, assuming I get that far. Although it is embarrassing, it is something that happened in my life and unfortunately I cannot change it.

I feel that I am a different person than I was then. I am no longer a loner looking for whatever approval or attention I can get. I am an adult with a steady job over the last 4 years, more responsible friends, a college degree, and a set of rock hard morals.

Hiding this event is NOT an option, so either it will or will not disqualify me. What do you think?

If I get this right, you were 16 getting it on with a 12 year old?

I think I'll withold judgement until you become a father yourself, hopefully of a girl.

"Sorry" doesn't really cut it, though, in my book.

I don't know how a BI will see it.

[Safety Steve]

Stay where you are! Be Safe.

[JJ333]

You can judge all you want. I feel that I deserve it. I know nothing will replace the realization when having a child of my own, but with a sister of my own who is now around that age, I feel that I grasp much more of the reality.

Its so hard these days to realize people change. I'm guilty of being skeptical also, but I really just look at myself and know that I have changed.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Change, however drastic, does not erase the past.

[Cat_Doc]

I'm not going to judge you as a person, but will say it does not look good at all regarding a background investigation of one's character before giving them the authority of a police officer.

You won't know until you go through the hiring process. If you don't want to waste your time, then speak with a recruiter from the agency you are interested in and ask them if this incident would be tantamount to an automatic disqualification.

[JJ333]

I honestly want to do whatever I can to make it work. Obviously it will be a huge downer if this will hold me back. However, I guess it would be deserved.
It is true that no amount of change can erase the past, no matter how much you wish it could.

[GoDirectly2Jail]

At 16, you should have known better.

The situation certainly does not improve your chances.

[JJ333]

I should have known better; there is absolutely no doubt about that.

Your "disclaimer" really rang true to me. I have been really bummed since I started thinking about this whole thing, but it really made me really understand that although it may or may not mean I cannot become an officer, it does not mean I am not worth anything as a person. That although my change may have made me a better person, it doesn't necessarily mean I would be considered suitable.

[Creeker]

I should have known better; there is absolutely no doubt about that.

Your "disclaimer" really rang true to me. I have been really bummed since I started thinking about this whole thing, but it really made me really understand that although it may or may not mean I cannot become an officer, it does not mean I am not worth anything as a person. That although my change may have made me a better person, it doesn't necessarily mean I would be considered suitable.

I don't think anyone here has said you weren't worth anything as a person.

Consider the child who wants a piece of candy. You say No. The child then demands the candy. You say no again. The child then pitches a fit over not getting the candy. You calm the child down and insist the child apologise for the outburst. The child complies. Do you then give the child the candy, because they apologised and did what you wanted?

Too many parents are giving away the candy to their kids, so young adults are being raised to think that all they have to do is say they are sorry to get what they want, despite their past history.

Actions have consequences.

[JJ333]

I was not stating that anyone here said that; I was merely saying that is how I felt.

Like I said before, I know things have consequences and that sorry doesn't absolve things.

[MikeG]

The big problem other than the moral interpretation is that this is a pretty serious felony, is it not? In Arizona my reading is that the victim is under 15 and you don't meet any of the defense against prosecution requirements.

There is no statute of limitations for that crime here. You may be tried as an adult. You are about to sign a statement that you did these things so you can pass the lie detector. Even if the prosecutor wouldn't file the charges at this time, the BI is certainly going to think Class 2 felony. Would he arrest a 16 y/o for that? I dunno.

I don't know how old your victim is but sometimes they decide you ruined their life and come back and file charges. And then sue you. Do you really want your sworn statement confessing to a felony just waiting to be discovered?

[Creeker]

...I don't know how old your victim is but sometimes they decide you ruined their life and come back and file charges. And then sue you. Do you really want your sworn statement confessing to a felony just waiting to be discovered?

Along those lines, just how sorry are you, JJ333?

It seems to me that if you were, rather than have this issue over your head for the rest of your life, you could do worse than turning yourself in right now.

If you think about it, would you rather get this behind you before you are set in life and have a wife and children, a mortgage, a career, an established reputation in the community... and likely receive some suspended sentence, or would you rather wait for 20 years until after all of those added responsibilities are hinged upon your support at which time you could lose everything you've worked so hard for.

Doing so would obviously help you out with some guilt issues that you obviously have about the incident and possibly bring some closure to your victim, so she could put it behind her.

Just an idea and something to think about.

[nickallen]

Off-topic hijacking of thread that serves no purpose but to troll is not tolerated on this site. -Site Moderators

[Sgt. Slaughter]

You're full of it, Mr. "Unqualified".

Say goodbye!