Written Response Question????

[nleland1]

hey there

So i just took a written test on a 20 second video scenario. They had explained to us that they did not want us to write a report as a cop or a witness. So im curious if what i wrote (below) is to there expectations. Any help on either bettering my report writing skils or some strengths would be greatly appreciated. To me i believe they wanted something short and sweet and gets to the point. Thanks for taking the time

RESPONSE:

A man enters the store wearing a black ski mask. He pulls out a gun as he rushes up to the clerk at the counter. As this is taking place there is one customer in the back that is witnessing the robbery in progress. The masked gunman was yelling and pointing his gun at the clerk. The clerk in fear for his life gathered the money into a brown paper bag and handed it to the masked gunman. As the gunman leaves, a customer outside watches as the gunman take’s off his mask and runs from the store.

[04SteveR6]

I would say that if you have great attention to detail you will do fine, is that exam called a B-PAD? I heard of some exam in FL that was similar to the one you just took. What was the man wearing when he entered the store? What color was his pants, shirt, skin, ect. Pay attention to detail where ever possible and you will come out on top!

[txinvestigator1]

hey there

So i just took a written test on a 20 second video scenario. They had explained to us that they did not want us to write a report as a cop or a witness. So I'm curious if what i wrote (below) is to there expectations. Any help on either bettering my report writing skils or some strengths would be greatly appreciated. To me i believe they wanted something short and sweet and gets to the point. Thanks for taking the time

RESPONSE:

A man enters the store wearing a black ski mask. He pulls out a gun as he rushes up to the clerk at the counter. As this is taking place there is one customer in the back that is witnessing the robbery in progress. The masked gunman was yelling and pointing his gun at the clerk. The clerk in fear for his life gathered the money into a brown paper bag and handed it to the masked gunman. As the gunman leaves, a customer outside watches as the gunman take’s off his mask and runs from the store.

You want to reports facts. Facts are defined as what is occurred or known to be true.

You do not want to report conclusions. Conclusions are inferences a person draws from the facts.

If I wrote that "the man was drunk", I have written a conclusion. If I wrote that, "the man had slurred speech, the strong odor of an intoxicating beverage on his breath, his eyes were bloodshot, he slurred his speech and appeared disoriented", one could draw the conclusion that he was intoxicated.

You should state facts and allow the reader to draw his/her own conclusions.

You wrote ;

The clerk in fear for his life gathered the money into a brown paper bag and handed it to the masked gunman.

Your stating that the clerk was in fear of his life was a conclusion. It is probably a fair conclusion, but it is NOT a fact. I would leave it out. If you interviewed the clerk and he told you he feared for his life, then you would write that he told you that. ;)

You failed to mention the time of day, lighting conditions, clothing of the robber, type of gun, in what hand he held it, anything else you observed, where there other customers in the store besides the ONE you mentioned, was he wearing gloves, did he touch anything, use distinctive words or language or accent............................................ ...............Could you tell the race or height/weight of the robber?

Also how do you know it was a male if you could not see the face?

I could go on and on.............