This is all rather fascinating, but I can't get over Valor's comment about someone claiming to have had "sexual relations" with a box turtle. Perhaps I have not watched enough (OK, never watched any) porn involving animals, but I am not quite able to wrap my mind around how exactly one could have sexual relations with a box turtle. Maybe I don't really want to know... This is a PG-13 site.
In life's small things be resolute and great
To keep thy muscle trained: know'st thou when Fate
Thy measure takes, or when she'll say to thee,
"I find thee worthy; do this deed for me?"
Nemo me impune lacessit.