How to deal with stalker.

[GoCats43]

I apologize if the topic is redundant - there was a recent thread about restraining orders, but I have a more broad question. I live in Illinois. My girlfriend was in a relationship with a man who abused her sexually. She did not go to police at the time, and so there is obviously no evidence and very little can be done about it. However, since they broke up, the man - who lives in Michigan - has been harassing her, calling her as much as 80 times in one day, on a regular basis. He tries to contact her family members and friends. He calls from various numbers trying to fool her into picking up the phone. He takes creepy pictures on his phone and sends them to her. And he has threatened me repeatedly.

The man is disturbed, dangerous, and shows no sign of letting up in his harassment. I finally picked up the phone for her (after about twenty calls in a row) the other day and spoke to him, and I told him if he continued to harass her, I would call the police. He called about twenty more times that night before starting to call her friends again. They have been broken up for months - this is not a recent wound. We are also in our early 20s - so teenage angst on his part is no excuse for his refusal to let go.

I am seriously worried about this man showing up at my girlfriend's door. He is a abusive monster at worst, and a serial creep at best. I am not going to let him near her, period. But I'm lost as to what I can do to protect her, within the law. Although she is beginning to come around, she is reluctant to take action herself - she has a huge heart, and still feels bad for him. My first concern is protecting my girlfriend, though, and I would appreciate your opinion, as law enforcement professionals: what action can I take to stop this man harassing us and her family, and how can I take further steps to protect my girlfriend? Call me old-fashioned, but I see that as my responsibility.

Thank you for your time and insight, and thanks for all the work that you do.

[Kimble]

Before you contact the police (which is probably the best thing to do, even if no criminal charging occurs, to at least create a paper trail of this behavior should it continue and need to go to the next step), be sure to very specific with important details. For example:

He takes creepy pictures on his phone and sends them to her. And he has threatened me repeatedly.

For the most part you're articulate and detailed, but here on two important areas for determining if a crime occurred you've been vague. You don't have to go into details about the pics or threats here online, but when you contact the police be very specific about what sort of pics were sent (the word "creepy" is subjective and can't be used to determine if a crime occurred). Also, "threaten" can mean a lot of different things to different people. Was he simply mean or crude, did he actually threaten physical violence or worse, etc?

I realize this is probably a new challenge for you and your g/f to go through, which is why I want to help you be best prepared to contact the police so they can move forward with an investigation or pressing charges. Another suggestion is to sit down with your g/f prior to calling the police and list out specific instances of threats (in detail) or stalking, with as much detail as possible, for you to have an organized complaint to provide to the investigating officer(s).

Good luck, based on what you've said contacting your local police is definitely heading in the right direction.

[Samuel]

Why haven't you all changed your phone numbers and contact information?