When would you change your mind about me?

[jayt]

I'm curious for cops opinions. I'm from a pretty small area. And the honest truth is I've been an *** to the local cops since I was about 13. I'm 18 now and trying to grow up. I was drinking pretty bad and when I'm drunk I'm a complete butt to cops - difficult to handle and really big mouth to be honest about myself (I don't drink anymore). I've been arrested/thrown in cop cars for a free ride home a bunch of times for minor, annoying stuff.
The thing is the cops are always on top of me when I'm out and around. I do understand that's my fault. They stop me and question me and search me (I'm still on a juvie probation right now, extended jurisdiction thing, so searching me is easy for them) and check up me. They're kind of aggressive about it...
All this year every time that I talked to cops nothing came from it cos I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was co-operative with them and wasn't smart either.

So...am I just screwed in this area? If you were a cop here, would there come a time when you'd lose interest in me if I'm good for long enough? If I 'passed the test' enough times that you saw me around?

I'm trying to get my **** together, looking at apprenticeships here and nearby. I don't really want to commit to an apprenticeship here and keep having run-ins with the cops for years (I know I have nothing to worry about if I'm doing nothing wrong but ya know, it kind of gets old...). Thing is it makes more sense financially to hang around...

I do seriously acknowledge that I've been an a-hole and these are the consequences...I know I can't complain. I'm just curious about whether there might be an end to the consequences?

I've never been involved in 'stuff' by the way, no drug dealing, no stolen property stuff, no gangs, no organized criminal activity. I just got drunk and acted stupid.

Thanks for your time.
Jay

[Samuel]

The best people qualified to answer your questions would be those same LEOs whom you were an ahole to...

[jayt]

Yeah...I don't have a lot of roundtable discussions with them. I was hoping someone else in the profession might be able to relate to them in some way...

[DCF]

Yeah...I don't have a lot of roundtable discussions with them. I was hoping someone else in the profession might be able to relate to them in some way...

You don't need a roundtable discussion. What you need is an adult approach. Tell them you've changed. Understand they may not believe you immediately, but they may well give you the benefit of the doubt. Telling them is an adult approach.

[pac201]

You don't need a roundtable discussion. What you need is an adult approach. Tell them you've changed. Understand they may not believe you immediately, but they may well give you the benefit of the doubt. Telling them is an adult approach.

This^^^ and ask if any have noticed the difference in your behavior...

[jayt]

hmm ok, thanks. I can try and see how it goes. Like I said, they can be kind of aggressive to me and our conversations don't really go that great. Recently I try not saying much at all cos I'm not interested in escalating it like I have before. Do cops see it as 'defiance' or something to not offer a lot of information?...cos they don't seem to like that much either...

I do things to limit contact with them anyway (I guess I hope someone new will annoy them and they'll forget about me eventually...) - I don't go to the same places at night, don't hang out with the same people. So you know, now I get stopped walking down the street to my PO's office....lol, dammit.
I get off probation next month so maybe that will help me be less interesting to them anyway?

[mcsap]

Every time you deal with them frmo now on , tell them you have changed and are trying to make a better person for yourself and the community. They may not believe you so just go out and PROVE to them EVERY day that you have changed.

Every time you get stopped....be nice. No matter what....be nice.

Lose your friends that you got into trouble with. If you want me to believe that you have changed and yet you still run with the same bunch of clowns....

LOOK like someone who has changed. Maybe get a decent haircut , don't dress like some gang wannabe. Go get a job and WORK. And while you are working , do a good job. One of the best references I got was from a temp agency I worked for doing menial jobs.

You took 5 years to earn the rep you have , plan on it taking at least a couple of years to PROVE to us that you have changed. it won't be easy and at first the police won;t believe you but you have to keep at it.

Eventually , they WILL SEE that you have changed.

[jayt]

Every time you deal with them frmo now on , tell them you have changed and are trying to make a better person for yourself and the community. They may not believe you so just go out and PROVE to them EVERY day that you have changed.

Every time you get stopped....be nice. No matter what....be nice.

Lose your friends that you got into trouble with. If you want me to believe that you have changed and yet you still run with the same bunch of clowns....

LOOK like someone who has changed. Maybe get a decent haircut , don't dress like some gang wannabe. Go get a job and WORK. And while you are working , do a good job. One of the best references I got was from a temp agency I worked for doing menial jobs.

You took 5 years to earn the rep you have , plan on it taking at least a couple of years to PROVE to us that you have changed. it won't be easy and at first the police won;t believe you but you have to keep at it.

Eventually , they WILL SEE that you have changed.

Ok, cool. I'm doing lots of that stuff already. I don't hang out with the same people. I have totally always had a decent haircut...lol. I don't dress like a gangster. I work, I like working. Doing pretty good at school, went back to sports. No drinking in like 13 months almost..

Yeah, it did take a long time to earn my rep...

Thank you for your post and advice, I appreciate it. It gives me some hope that I can stay here! I haven't caused any trouble in almost 11 months - don't really feel like I've gotten anywhere with the local cops so far but I suppose it can only get better...

[Ispbear]

My only advice it to tell them what you said on here and tell them your sorry for all the problems you caused and how you acted. After that it's going to take time to prove that you've changed.

[jayt]

My only advice it to tell them what you said on here and tell them your sorry for all the problems you caused and how you acted. After that it's going to take time to prove that you've changed.

ok, thanks for your response. I'll add the suggestions here to what I'm doing already and...keep going.

Thanks for all the responses, appreciate 'em.

[Aussie George]

Yeah, it did take a long time to earn my rep...

And unfortunately it will take a while to lose it as well.

But if you do keep going down the right track, and get that apprenticeship, etc etc, the Police will see the new you eventually.

There will be new Police that don;t know you as the smart mouthed little trouble maker and will get to know you as the guy who works at such and such, or wont get to know you at all.

You have to sleep in the bed you made for a while though, and that will be the true test for you. You may not like it, and it might seem to be a hassle, but eventually the Police will see that each time they talk to you, you have been polite and sober, and that you have a job, and that you are staying out of trouble. I have mainly worked small towns and I know that we get to know our young offenders. When I see one of them grow up into a mature adult, I eventually give them the respect they deserve. It's just that sometimes we are reluctant to believe that the leopard has changed their spots.

Hang in there and keep up the good work. After it all it is you that will benefit from the better life. We get to knock off after our shift. You have the rest of your life to be you.

Good luck

[McNulty]

Time heals all wounds. Show them through your actions that you're not the same person that you were before. It's a natural progression, really. When the police see that you no longer need to be on the receiving end of professional law enforcement services, they'll move on and find someone that does.

[jayt]

Thanks AussieGeorge and McNulty. It's good to hear from you working in a small place AussieGeorge.

...The thing right now is they don't seem to like me being co-operative AND quiet. I saw these 2 cops in the weekend, I was keeping my mouth shut (b/c ya know, it runs away - I admit, I still got a mouth when I'm sober - I work to stop it). They wanted to know where I was going and what I was doing. I ended up mouthing off, just a little bit, then I stopped. Honestly, I feel kind of like I was provoked. I got frustrated.
And I don't really know what to do about that. I try to be good, but you know, when someone is just at you...

I know, this is still my bed that I made. Sometimes I feel like all I can do is hide out at home (like in my real bed), like that's the only way to stay out of trouble.

...Australia...I heard that kangaroos are actually kind of aggressive? I also heard they're like a pest? You eaten kangaroo?

Maybe I move there, become a kangaroo catcher...

[icu650]

"I ended up mouthing off, just a little bit, then I stopped. Honestly, I feel kind of like I was provoked. I got frustrated."

This was on the weekend?

Why should they treat you any different if you are still mouthing off. You haven't grown up yet and they know this by your actions and your smart mouth. You mentioned "you still got a mouth" but when your sober you try to you work to stop it. You are obviously still drinking and still mouthing off so they will continue to do their job until you grow up. Don't pretend to be cleaning up your act because your tired of them doing their job with one more pain in the a** they have on their post.

[Cat_Doc]

I might change my mind after you receive a honorable discharge from a completed enlistment with one of the US Armed Services and return to the community with a discernible improvement in maturity.

That would be a great starting point. Serve yourself by serving your country.