Death Threats from a Family Member

[Tianeverfrown]

Hi, this is my first post and I only signed up so that I could get some much needed help with this single issue:

My mother in law has received several death threats from her son (my brother in law) who is 17 (about to turn 18). He has said to her on many occasions that if he doesn't "knock her off" then he is going to have one of his friends do it.

Two nights ago the cops came because she found drugs in his bedroom but no charges were pressed. Last night my brother in law broke down the door to their bedroom and was slashing at them with a box cutter.

She reluctantly wants to kick him out of the house but he says that he will have one of his friends kill her if she tries to kick him out. Both my mother in law and father in law live in fear. They have changed the locks at least 2 times in the last year.

I've told her to call the cops and report the threats but she doesnt seem to think it will do any good and she doesnt want to be a "bad parent" by kicking him out.

What can she and my father in law do to protect themselves? They feel like their house is a target. What kind of information should they bring to the police, if any?

[Citicop]

How about the information that he KICKED IN THEIR BEDROOM DOOR AND ATTACKED THEM WITH AN EDGED WEAPON?!?!?

That's important, and would warrant an arrest here. (And would even if the person were a juvenile.)

Being a "good parent" does not include allowing yourself to be assaulted.

-Citicop.

[Kimble]

How exactly can one be a "good parent" if their son makes good on his threats and does kill them (or has someone else do so)?

To be perfectly blunt, bad parenting is letting a juvenile get away with stuff like this and sitting by while it happens. Good parenting would be getting this child psychiatric help and calling the police if serious criminal activity occurs (slashing at someone with a box cutter would certainly qualify as serious criminal activity). At 17 these parents should have taken control of the situation a LONG time ago, but continuing to do nothing will only worsen things.

[retdetsgt]

I've told her to call the cops and report the threats but she doesnt seem to think it will do any good and she doesnt want to be a "bad parent" by kicking him out.

Pardon the sarcasm, but it doesn't sound like she's done an exemplary job of being a parent so far if the kid is threatening to kill her.... He obviously has no respect for her at all. If a kid respects the parent at 7, he'll respect them at 17, but that works the other way too. If you don't have his respect by 7, you never will. She probably wanted to be friends with the kid more than she wanted to be a parent when he was growing up and unfortunately, she still wants to be his friend.

She needs to call the police and let them take action. However, if she wants to remain co-dependent, there's nothing anyone else can do.

[ChesCopPodz]

What he ^ said.

She's already failed as a parent if her son is threatening her with a box cutter.