An internet liar stole my stuff

[GuitarLoverGirl]

Hi. I'm really glad this website exists! Ok so I have a problem that happened last year, and it's still going on today. My stuff has been stolen I'm pretty sure and it's been very stressful and I've been waiting for 7 months now with not even an ounce of effort from the person!

What happened was this so-called friend I met online was offering me to stay at a house he was going to buy soon after I got there. Well we went ahead with it and he picked me up basically from across the country by car. LONG drive! Well, he kept saying "take your stuff, I don't want you to regret not taking it!", so I agreed... and we basically emptied my room into the car, minus the furniture. Along the drive to his place, he kept asking me things like "can your mom co-sign for our place?" and I said that I don't know and would have to ask about it (plus I didn't know what co-sign meant at the time) (but later I found out that was probably his way of trying to screw my parents into having to pay for it...another thief trick?). So fast forward and we arrive. Well, he suddenly says I don't have a place to stay, but I can hide out in this empty car for a bit while he thinks of what to do... and we transferred my important stuff into the vehicle with me while I waited. He comes back a few hours later and picks me and my stuff up and drives me to his parent's house. Basically what happened after that was he stuck me with his parents and lied to them saying that I needed a place to stay just for a few days. We all went along with that for a while. He told me to keep waiting because he's still looking for the apartment or whatever the excuse was at the time.

So days turned into a week... then a week turned into weeks... then a month. At about the month mark, everybody was tired of all the lying, and the parents called the police on me and I was kicked out. They had me move my stuff outside into their shed before I went on my homeless way. My "friend's" mom arranged a ticket for me to fly back, and I called my mom and told her what happened. Later in the day I got in contact with my "friend's" mom through cellphone and basically she drove me to the airport and told me I would get my stuff back. So after that I was on the plane to my way back with nothing but a backpack full of random things like snacks and my Nintendo DS which I was too stressed to even play. I make it back with an empty room, and I get in contact with the mom and the friend. They both say I'll get my stuff back, but suddenly the mom wanted money for the plane ticket. But she never mentioned that while I was there?? I called her back later and she wouldn't answer anymore. They cut off contact with me. The only thing I had left of contact was the friend online again, and he just made excuse after excuse saying "ohh it's all here", or "ohh I moved it to suchandsuch place but it's safe!" After 2 months of waiting with no effort on his end to get my stuff back, I called him a thief and he got extremely defensive and offended. It's been 7 months since this happened and I have not one ounce of anything back. I had another person from up there trying to help, but apparently it looks like she decided to cut contact with me too. *sigh* so here I am.

...Ok that was a bit long so here's a shorter summary: An internet "friend" promised we could live in his new house. He picked me up from across country, and we took basically my room full of stuff in the car and he brought me to his parents house because there was no new house. So he said we're supposed to have our own place in a few days, but in the end it was just lies, and everyone got tired of it and I got kicked out after a month of his lies, lies, lies. I was promised to get my stuff back once I got back to my original place, and later that day flew a plane for the way back. I got in contact with them, and everyone either didn't answer the phone, or just said good-sounding things to shut me up. 7 months later I'm still waiting and nothing has been sent back to me!!

I don't know what to do! My mom told me I'd have to go all the way back up there in person to do anything legal, but she's not a cop or anything at all...is she right? What could be done about this? I live in Florida and the person that stole all my stuff lives in Boston. Umm, also we happen to have pictures of the more important stuff, from safeproofing ourselves from the hurricanes. Would that help at all?

Thank you for reading and I hope there's something that can be done, because obviously I can't get it back by just waiting and being nice!

[retdetsgt]

Frankly, you're lucky to be alive. I've had homicide victims do smarter things than you did.

You can probably kiss off your stuff. You would have to go back there and contact the local police and ask them to go with you to the place. It would probably cost more than what your stuff is worth in total. And they may consider it "rent" for the time you stayed there free.

[icu650]

I really agree with retdetsgt. You were very foolish. I don't know what the value is of the "stuff" you left there but if I were you I would count my blessings to be alive and out of that situation. Your friends' mom arranged for the plane ticket and later wanted money for it. You didn't pay her. They probably will say that they are keeping your "stuff" until or because you didn't pay. If one of the more important things that you did take with you was a Nintendo DS forget the rest of your stuff and go on with you life in a more mature responsible way.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

To retdstsgt -
Wow that was just rude! You should feel what I feel and see if you can say it like that again! Excuse me but my stuff is worth a lot more than what I used while I was there! Mostly everything I took is $300+ and just imagine a room full of that. What you thought I'm just worried about makeup and small stuff I can just buy again?? There's things that have no price like data too since I took my computer as well. I could also become a victim of identity theft, but so far I haven't... I hope.

I know it wasn't the greatest thing to do, but my situation is the kind where it might've eventually been suicide if I didn't. I don't feel like explaining that to you. And I'm not stupid.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

I really agree with retdetsgt. You were very foolish. I don't know what the value is of the "stuff" you left there but if I were you I would count my blessings to be alive and out of that situation. Your friends' mom arranged for the plane ticket and later wanted money for it. You didn't pay her. They probably will say that they are keeping your "stuff" until or because you didn't pay. If one of the more important things that you did take with you was a Nintendo DS forget the rest of your stuff and go on with you life in a more mature responsible way.

Actually I forgot my most important things because the cops were pushing me to hurry up and I was upset and in tears and couldn't think straight! I just ended up taking water and snacks and whatever was in the bag already. And plus they only let me take a backpack because they set me out walking homeless because they didn't want me there. Are you all so mean?? Ugh!

[retdetsgt]

I know it wasn't the greatest thing to do, but my situation is the kind where it might've eventually been suicide if I didn't. I don't feel like explaining that to you. And I'm not stupid.

I didn't say you were stupid. I am saying that going that far from home with some guy you met on the Internet and expecting the world to take care of you while you are there is stupid. The next man you meet on the Internet and take off with may very well leave your body in a ditch somewhere. I've investigated homicides not unlike that.

Maybe you should learn to be a little more self reliant. His parents had no obligation to do squat for you, but fortunately they did. You got yourself into this mess by making dumb decisions. If you want your stuff, go to Boston and try to get it.

[Citicop]

retdetsgt's post was NOT rude. It was honest and may have contained info you didn't want to hear, but it was polite and factual in tone. It *also* told you what you needed to do if you wanted to try to get your belogings back. If that isn't the answer you wanted, I am very sorry, but it's the only answer there is.

You will need to be there to physically get your things. A police officer may be able to accompany you to ensure everyone behaves while you do so, but he will not be able to get involved in any "this is mine, no it's not!" disputes. You could also sue him in small claims court for the value of all the expensive items you left behind.

You made several poor decisions, and while this situation is no fun, it could have been worse. Lots of girls wind up dead, raped, drug addicted, or forced into prostitution by doing exactly what you did.

-Citicop.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

I didn't say you were stupid. I am saying that going that far from home with some guy you met on the Internet and expecting the world to take care of you while you are there is stupid.

Look, I was told we'd have our own house the next day. That's all I "expected." It never happened and guess what? The innocent one loses out completely! Seriously, are people ALLOWED to do this to people?? Is that what you're saying?

[greg72982]

You made a stupid decision but came out of it unscathed. All you lost were material things. Move on with your life. Your maturity level is pretty apparent just by your few posts.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

You will need to be there to physically get your things. A police officer may be able to accompany you to ensure everyone behaves while you do so, but he will not be able to get involved in any "this is mine, no it's not!" disputes. You could also sue him in small claims court for the value of all the expensive items you left behind.

-Citicop.

Since there was several cops there to witness and listen to the whole situation and watched me putting my stuff in their shed (took like 10-20 minutes and they were really pushing me to hurry and wouldn't help me and it was heavy!), do you think they would help? One of the girl cops told me her name in case I needed them or something... I don't know what she meant by it though and it was just so rushed. I also have pictures of it from before, and I know the brand and names of everything because they were in my room for like 6 years! But people are telling me they could've just sold it all... this is just so wrong!

[Citicop]

Look, I was told we'd have our own house the next day. That's all I "expected." It never happened and guess what? The innocent one loses out completely! Seriously, are people ALLOWED to do this to people?? Is that what you're saying?

guitar-

That's the point. Some guy on the internet told you he'd buy you/build you a house, and you just believed it and moved across the country based on what he said.

You are "innocent" in that you didn't break the law, but you made very VERY bad decisions here, and there are consequences for bad decisions.

But he didn't breakt the law either. He can't get arrested for being a jerk. He's not to blame for you moving out and leaving all your belongings there.

You can take action to get them back (by physically returning there and contacting the police or suing him) if you want to. There is no magic pill that will undo what your decisions have done.

-Citicop.

[marinepilot]

What happened was this so-called friend I met online was offering me to stay at a house he was going to buy soon after I got there. Well we went ahead with it and he picked me up basically from across the country by car.

Frankly, you're lucky to be alive. I've had homicide victims do smarter things than you did.

I really agree with retdetsgt. You were very foolish. I don't know what the value is of the "stuff" you left there but if I were you I would count my blessings to be alive and out of that situation.

To retdstsgt -
Wow that was just rude! You should feel what I feel and see if you can say it like that again! Excuse me but my stuff is worth a lot more than what I used while I was there! Mostly everything I took is $300+...

I know it wasn't the greatest thing to do, but my situation is the kind where it might've eventually been suicide if I didn't. I don't feel like explaining that to you. And I'm not stupid.

Actually I forgot my most important things because the cops were pushing me to hurry up and I was upset and in tears and couldn't think straight!

Are you all so mean?? Ugh!

GuitarLoverGirl,

I think you're missing the point of what these very experienced, veteran officers are trying to tell you. You met a "friend" online and decided, before knowing anything about him, to move yourself and your stuff across country. Do you have ANY IDEA how many sexual batteries (rapes), child molestations, kidnappings, MURDERS, and who knows how many other crimes start this way every year? When they tell you, as I will, that you are lucky to be ALIVE, you should take it quite seriously. You could VERY EASILY have been a victim, a statistic, never to be seen again, to be raped, tortured, killed, and thrown away without a single clue as to where you were. Your mother would NEVER have known, never been able to bury your remains, have no closure as to what happened to you for the rest of time. THAT is the TRUTH of this type situation!

Yet you're worried about STUFF that can be replaced... I don't really think you grasp the severity of the situation. It wouldn't matter if you lost a collection of antique Faberge eggs worth millions of dollars, all of it is not worth ONE OF YOU to your mother! STUFF can be replaced, computers, data, whatever. In that you should just consider that you have learned a very valuable and expensive lesson, to not EVER do something such as you did again! As long as you're alive and home, you can always get back stuff, and although it may not be the exact SAME stuff, it's still just stuff.

Education is expensive, consider a college degree. Whatever amount of STUFF you lost, consider that the price you have to pay for BEING ALIVE!

Again, you may think we're all rude, but you fail to understand how many young, beautiful girls many of us have stood over who were ravaged, killed, and thrown away as garbage doing less extreme things than you have done. You tell us that we should feel what you feel, yet don't even think for a second that we are truly relieved you are not the next one that we have to stand over, looking at your beaten, mutilated body, and have to 1) figure out who you are, and then 2) notify your parents of your tragic, early death. Or the pain that we feel when we search for YEARS for someone who doesn't even have the luck to BE found, one of the people that just vanish off the face of the earth and are NEVER found. When you think of being rude, think of the criminals that do these things to people in situations like you found yourself in, not the officers you ask for assistance who have dedicated their lives to helping people like you.

You should fall on your knees every day and thank the Lord above that you are alive and home again with your mother who loves you, and let that STUFF be gone from your memory.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

Thanks, that was a bit easier to read than the first replies... geez it was like everyone wanted to rip my head off because I got my stuff stolen!

but I just wanted to say I don't think I really moved in or out, I was just doing what I was told and that was wait here while I get us an apartment tomorrow. But it did turn into a month but I was seriously thinking we'll have a place the whole time! I want to mention he did get arrested while I was there, for assault or battery, though it wasn't toward me. So he actually did break the law at least once... Also the mom got the plane ticket wrong, so my parents had to pay to fix it, which I think they said costed more than she paid. I don't think I was even able to tell her we had to pay because she stopped answering her phone. That's just so fair...
......
To MarinePilot -
I just read your post because I was typing that during it, but I feel really bad now...sorry
it's just the life I am living is probably one of the hardest ones you can live, and the average suicide rate is 50% by your 20s. so it's not easy for you but it's not easy for me either even though I'm alive. This life thing I'm talking about is linked completely to the reason I went too.

[retdetsgt]

There are a lot of people living a lot harder lives than you, trust me on that. The first thing you need to do is quite feeling sorry for yourself. There are a hell of a lot of people in the world who have no place to live and have no idea where their next meal is coming from. Maybe you should start concentrating on the things you have to be grateful for. You could be homeless in Japan right now.

One common theme I see in your posts is that you have been relying on other people to take care of you. You go to Boston completely trusting a more or less stranger and then have to depend on his parents. Then your parents have to pay for you way back home. You seem to plan your life no more than about 10 minutes at a time and have no back up plan if what you do goes wrong. His parents could have tossed you on the street with all your stuff and what would you have done?

I assume you're out of high school so get a job and start being self sufficient. I suspect you'll find your life will become a lot easier.

[GuitarLoverGirl]

There are a lot of people living a lot harder lives than you, trust me on that. The first thing you need to do is quite feeling sorry for yourself. There are a hell of a lot of people in the world who have no place to live and have no idea where their next meal is coming from. Maybe you should start concentrating on the things you have to be grateful for. You could be homeless in Japan right now.

Hey, since none of us are homeless or suffering/helping in japan and homeless people, maybe you could be productive and help me get my stuff back hmm hmm hmmmm? I'm joking... but yes, I have lost contact with a japanese friend since that earthquake... I hope she's ok, and everyone else. :(

And honestly I wouldn't challenge our life's difficulty. There's a lot of us and 50% rate isn't a small number you know. Plus if we didn't kill ourself, a lot of us can/do end up homeless or at least kicked out... it's like part of the process almost. Oh what do you know I was one of them for a bit! But I know most people aren't exactly educated on it including the cops from Boston, so I shouldn't really get offended.