Idiot Boyfriend Thinks He's Under Surveillance...

[Layla22]

I apologize for jumping on here and begging help, but I'm at my wits end. My boyfriend has a history of trouble with the law, though its been years since he was incarcerated, and I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping him on the straight and narrow. However, for the past three weeks, he has become increasingly paranoid that he is being followed by the police: that they've tapped our phone, planted a listening device in our apartment, and set officers to watch our street. I've made him an appointment with a psychologist, but our arguments are becoming more and more heated. I refuse to play into his delusions, and he is becoming more and more angry at my "stubborness". My question: is there any way I can PROVE to him that this is all in his head? Should I go speak to someone at our local precinct? I don't want to give up on him, believe it or not he is a good man; a hard worker and a good father. But this lunacy will be the end of our relationship if I can't get him to see reason. Thank you for your help, it is greatly appreciated

[retdetsgt]

Even if we were, we wouldn't tell him. Don't you think it would defeat the purpose if we told people we were watching them?

He needs serious psychological help and you can't give it to him. If he refuses to get it, you need to make a decision about your life. You're not going to be able to convince him.

Is he doing drugs? That raises the paranoia in people.

[Safety Steve]

Is he doing drugs? That raises the paranoia in people.

That was my first thought RDS! You still got it!


Be Safe.

[mobrien316]

Your boyfriend needs professional help. There is really nothing you can do for him, other than maybe obtain the phone number of a good counsellor or psychiatrist and urge him to make an appointment.

This issue has nothing to do with the police. It is the same paranoia as people who think aliens are monitioring their brain waves and they must wear tin foil hats to block out the mind scanners. If your boyfriend said things like that it should be clearer to you that he needs serious psychological help. It's the same thing.

[Layla22]

My first thought was that he WAS on drugs. I did some research into which substances are known to induce "the-cops-are-out-to-get-me" type paranoia, and the ones that fit, like cocaine and methamphetamines, show some other, obvious symptoms. He's not displaying any of the other signs: he goes to sleep at 10 o'clock, eats three meals a day, etc.

I guess its just hard to admit that someone you love is going round the twist. I'd hoped there would be some sort of quick fix; that if I could prove to him that this wasn't real, that everything would be okay. We have a daughter, and I'm pregnant...I just wanted to make him see reason.

[retdetsgt]

Early Psychosis Intervention - Information on drug induced psychosis

Even marijuana can create paranoia and can certainly enhance it if a little is already there.

If not drugs, then he needs serious help and/or you need to make some decisions, quickly. Trust me, paranoid people are the most dangerous. At some point he might even think you are behind it. I'm serious, I've investigated more than a few homicides fueled by unsubstantiated paranoia.

[marinepilot]

Early Psychosis Intervention - Information on drug induced psychosis

Even marijuana can create paranoia and can certainly enhance it if a little is already there.

If not drugs, then he needs serious help and/or you need to make some decisions, quickly. Trust me, paranoid people are the most dangerous. At some point he might even think you are behind it. I'm serious, I've investigated more than a few homicides fueled by unsubstantiated paranoia.

Even if it IS drugs, he needs serious help...

[icu650]

As most everyone has stated, you need to get him to a doctor for a full physical and a determination concerning the cause and treatment of his paranoia. The drug most prevalent where I live is meth. Meth can cause these symptoms. You are not a doctor.
"Long-term meth use can lead to psychosis that mimics paranoid schizophrenia"
Dr. Richard Wise of Pathways Treatment Center in Kalispell
Good luck to you - You are pregnant- your children will need you to get him help now.

[Ispbear]

Early Psychosis Intervention - Information on drug induced psychosis

Even marijuana can create paranoia and can certainly enhance it if a little is already there.

If not drugs, then he needs serious help and/or you need to make some decisions, quickly. Trust me, paranoid people are the most dangerous. At some point he might even think you are behind it. I'm serious, I've investigated more than a few homicides fueled by unsubstantiated paranoia.

Best advice your going to get is right here. Either drug induced or mental, your still in danger. How easy will it be for him to make that leap in his dilusion that the reason your being "stubborn" must be due to the fact that you are a part of it and helping the police. Your life is in danger and you just don't know it.

[Outshined]

Crap, how did he spot us?

[kazz]

Best advice your going to get is right here. Either drug induced or mental, your still in danger. How easy will it be for him to make that leap in his dilusion that the reason your being "stubborn" must be due to the fact that you are a part of it and helping the police. Your life is in danger and you just don't know it.

Crap, how did he spot us?

. . . the uniforms and marked cars do it every time.

[Outshined]

. . . the uniforms and marked cars do it every time.

But I was dressed like a chick and driving a prius

[pac201]

Just a quick note, the more you try to convince him that there is nothing going on, the more he is going to believe there is.

As RDS said, this is dangerous, the sooner you act the safer.

[Samuel]

Make sure the babysitter doesn't call from the house and remembers to bring her lucky hat...

[Layla22]

Thank you for the link to the drug psychosis site, it was very informative...and a lot of it seems to fit, unfortunately. I don't have much experience in that area, so it is possible that I'm just not able to see what would be obvious to others. That and the fact that this paranoia appeared so suddenly, makes me think drugs may be behind this.

As far as him beginning to see me as the "enemy", I'm afraid you may be on target there as well. I didn't want him to see where I was posting (for obvious reasons!), and I think my long bathroom breaks may have aroused his suspicions. As soon as he leaves for work, we're leaving for my mother's. I hate to turn my back on him when he needs me, but you all have got me thinking about the safety of my children, and they always come first.

Thank you for the advice: it is a bitter pill to swallow, but I think it's best to defer to voices of experience on this one. I won't have anyone investigating mine or my children's homicides...