Best Cop/lawyer stories...

[retdetsgt]

When I was a very new cop, there were a number of us called to a neighborhood disturbance. About a 20 year old kid was getting in my face and told him to get back. He pushed me pretty hard and I went back a few paces. All the DT I had went out the window and I came forward and hit him right in the snot-locker with my fist. He went down, flat on his back with a busted nose.

In court, the defense attorney asked me, "Officer, is it true that you hit the defendant in the face with your fist?"

I replied, "Yes sir, just as hard as I could".

The DA cringed, the judge and the jury laughed and he was found guilty.

[kels]

Judge to defendant

J You remember what I said about getting a second job to pay for your tickets last time you were here?

D Yes, Your Honor, I did.

J Thats good, you better get a third job, because you are going to need it after I pronounce sentence today.

(just a hint, being a frequent flier and on the first name basis with the traffic judge is a BAD THING)

[mobrien316]

As a patrol sergeant, I was testifying and the defense attorney kept referring to me as "Officer" rather than "Sergeant." I had stated my name and rank when I took the stand, and it seemed pretty clear to me that the defense attorney (who had no case whatsoever) was simply trying to get me to react. I really don't care when people address me by the wrong rank (because most people are so clueless they aren't doing it out of spite) so I didn't react at all.

However... After several minutes of the defense attorney interjecting "Officer" every few words, the judge interrupted in a VERY annoyed tone of voice and said that in all of the reports he'd read, I was listed as "Sergeant," and I had also identified myself as such, and the defense attorney would kindly refer to me by my proper rank from this point on.

The defense attorney got very red and pretended to be very conciliatory as he apologized to me and addressed me as "Sergeant." After that he didn't use any rank for the rest of my time on the stand.

[Gutwrench]

Over my years I've testified hundreds and hundreds of times and have had a few minor exchanges. But in general cops who try to get snarky with a defense attorney from the stand are setting themselves up to get hammered. It usually doesn't go over well with the judge and god forbid it doesn't happen in front of a jury. The best approach to always be professional and answer the question and only the question and then shut up.

[Outshined]

Over my years I've testified hundreds and hundreds of times and have had a few minor exchanges. But in general cops who try to get a snarky with a defense attorney from the stand is setting themselves up to get hammered. It usually doesn't go over well with the judge and god permit it doesn't happen in front of a jury. The best approach to always be professional and answer the question and only the question and then shut up.

I agree that you should be professional on the stand. I will also say in my 25 years of experience, I have found defense lawyers to be extremely ignorant, and easily hoodwinked.

[Switchback]

I agree that you should be professional on the stand. I will also say in my 25 years of experience, I have found defense lawyers to be extremely ignorant, and easily hoodwinked.

I agree 100%. While I cannot remember anything in particular, I have found it easy to mess with an attorney or 2 over the years. You see, while it sucks, a lot can be learned from all those years of sitting in court as a new DUSM. I can't tell you how many times I have seen officers/agents on the stand, thinking "The AUSA wants you to say ___" or "You should say ____ to cut that defense attorney off at the knees." Of course, it doesn'thurt things that most judges LOVE DUSMs, as we are the one protecting them.

[Gutwrench]

Now having said that, in DUI cases I would write the FST results on the palm of my hand. Then transcribe the notes onto the DUI form when writing the report. On the stand the defense was trying to poke holes in the case and was focusing a losing argument with judge on discovery issues. In questioning me he asked if I took FST notes apparently hoping to hear I had written them on paper at the scene (which is discoverable in court). I said I had taken notes and transcribed them into the report. He asked if I had included the original notes along with my report and I said I had not. The defense went into a somewhat grandstanding argument with the judge about the DA's office failing to comply with discovery and turned to me raising his voice asking, "What DID you do with those notes, officer. Did you destroy them?" To which I held up my hand replied, "Yes. I wrote them on my hands and then washed them."

In CA we can present hearsay testimony during prelims. I was in a prelim in super-court testifying to a drug arrest I made involving about 15 pounds of weed and two one pound balls of hash. I had pre-interviewed the criminalist who conducted the presumptive and confirmatory tests on the dope so I could enter their testimony in court. Unfortunately I accidentally forgot to bring the notes to court.

The PD refused to stipulate to the criminalist findings and I had to testify. The PD asked what tests the criminalist used which had me stumped. I could not remember the name or pronunciation of the gas chromatograph-mass spectrometer. Instead I just said, "...um the standard tests." The PD smelled blood in the water and really came after me.

"Oh.....that standard test huh officer? Just what were those standard tests?" I said, "um...huh...that gas spectometer thing."

Both mouths of the ADA and PD dropped open and the judge laughed out loud." He looked down over his glasses at me and I told him I left my interview notes on my counter at home. The PD strenuously tried to argue to have the premlim dismissed but the judge refused basically forcing the PD to accept a written affidavit from me to the court of the DOJ's criminalist's tests and findings by noon the next day.

[Cat_Doc]

I had a defense attorney suddenly and dramatically announce that he had observed me turning to the jury while giving my answers. He asked me why I was doing this. I am sure he was hoping I would say something along the lines that I was taught to do this at the academy or something. However, I looked right at the jury and said, "Because they are the most important people in this room." It had a visually noticeable impact on him as he stumbled through the next few questions.

I spoke with him a few years later outside of the courtroom and he brought that up telling me I had blown him out of the water on that one.

By the way, I fully agree with RetDetSgt and Gutwrench. Be very careful in attempting to spar with a defense attorney. It may work okay in front of a magistrate in a city court or JP, but you are at risk each and every time you try to be cute during a “Super Court Trial.”

I am not God’s Gift to law enforcement, but I have been in several high profile jury trials on heavy hitters such as homicide, kidnap, sexual assault, etc. The best thing you can do is remain calm, courteous and polite on the stand. Juries do not like smart asses. Leave that to rookie defense attorneys and stay calm while they badger you; the jury will turn on the defense attorney.

[Outshined]

True, I have never had a "super trial" just barking dogs, and un-shoveled sidewalks, maybe a couple parking ticket trials.

[Cat_Doc]

True, I have never had a "super trial" just barking dogs, and un-shoveled sidewalks, maybe a couple parking ticket trials.

You forgot to add the sarcasm rolling eyes icon.

[Outshined]

You forgot to add the sarcasm rolling eyes icon.