Advice Please?

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Also, do not contact him for any reason, then call the police to arrest him for violating the restraining order when things don't work out like you planned.

It's not fair to him and we hate that...

[Jamie Haster]

Yes I have to get the TRO. I don't plan on dropping the charges. I'm pretty sure the police told me he will be charged no matter what anyways. I feel bad for him, he has problems I hate to see him ruining his life but I can't let him ruin mine anymore. I know if I give him another chance it will get worse. I really don't want to get hurt any worse. I have 2 broken ribs, a fractured wrist and two black eyes from my broken nose and i still have bruises from him beating me up a week and a half ago. I look horrible and it's so embarrassing.

[Jamie Haster]

I will not be contacting him I have no reason to.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

I feel bad for him, he has problems I hate to see him ruining his life but I can't let him ruin mine anymore.

His biggest problem (that we know of) is that he's an azzhole who beats women. That's not your fault.

I know if I give him another chance it will get worse. I really don't want to get hurt any worse. I have 2 broken ribs, a fractured wrist and two black eyes from my broken nose and i still have bruises from him beating me up a week and a half ago.

Domestic violence does get worse. Unabated, the abuser becomes emboldened and ups the ante with each incident.

Personally, I hate men who beat on women. There's nothing more chickens*&t in this world save beating kids and old people.

[greg72982]

I feel bad for him, he has problems I hate to see him ruining his life...

This comment scares me.

[Jamie Haster]

This comment scares me.

why?

[Ispbear]

why?

It's not obvious??????

He BEAT YOU half to death and yet YOU feel sorry for him???? It's your mindset that worries us, you feel bad for him and are making excuses for him by saying "he has problems." Are you sure you don't like being a victim so you get all the extra attention of having everyone feel sorry for you? Like I said in my previous post, go work on you and find out what you were getting out of that relationship so you can drop that midset and move on to a real man that treats a woman like a queen.

[Jamie Haster]

Ok I said I feel sorry for him but I can't let him ruin my life anymore. I don't like being a victim thats why i finally called the police and I'm not dropping the charges. Looking the way I do right now is not the kind of attention I want and I dont really think people feel sorry for me, I took him back again and again. I'm taking your advice and getting help for myself.

[1depd]

Something I used to advise the victims in domestic battery cases was if you are renting consider moving. The protection order is just a piece of paper. If you are in an apartment complex contact the manager to see if you can relocate to a different apartment with the same rent, but don't park near your new apartment . Another possibility is if the complex owner has several complexes they might be willing to allow you to move from one to another. The best time to do this is when you're still very bruised up. It's much easier and typically can be done over a weekend without many of the typical start up fees of finding a new place to live. It's a pain in the butt, but also change your phone numbers and if you have a landline get it unlisted. Essentially what you are trying to do is drop off the map and make yourself as hard to find alone as possible. Don't forget about the social media you two might be on together and common friends. It a bit embarrassing, but for common friends cut ties, and for your friends let them know the jackwagon gave you the bruises and you don't want to have any contact with him. I know it is a pain, but often the best way to get the person out is to go to the extremes. If you only change one or two things but leave the others valid, he will still be able to contact and locate you. Eventually this guy will lose interest and move on to someone else and be out of your life.

You shouldn't have to do all of this, but unfortunately LEO's can't protect you 24/7. Granted if he comes around there will be other charges, but in my experience if he is coming around, he has one thing on his mind and that is revenge. It is similar to crossing the street at a cross walk. Traffic has to yield to you in the cross walk, but if traffic is coming down the street, you would be smarter to wait until it passes.

[Ispbear]

Ok I said I feel sorry for him but I can't let him ruin my life anymore. I don't like being a victim thats why i finally called the police and I'm not dropping the charges. Looking the way I do right now is not the kind of attention I want and I dont really think people feel sorry for me, I took him back again and again. I'm taking your advice and getting help for myself.

Amazon.com: Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives: Laura C. Schlessinger: Books

It's $6 on amazon, it will be a good start for you.

[Jamie Haster]

Yeah I rent and my lease is up in Feb. I already gave my notice that i'm leaving.

[Jamie Haster]

Ispbear your kinda mean.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

He's not mean, he's unequivocally honest and blunt. Something most people are not used to and they brand that as "mean."