Serious Stalking problem.

[Hubcakes]

Hello, I just recently joined to ask this question, Im 20 years old and live In PA.

Since Ive moved out of my parents home, because of some issues I had with my mother harassing me because of my Fiancé, (she hates him) I have over the past year been having strange things happen to both me and my fiancé. For starters the first incident happened at my fiances work, someone sent a envelope with a card that said "for you wedding" on it nothing was wrote on it along with a substants that appeared to be Marijuana, it was later confirmed to be that by the Loss Prevention team and the cops that were called in to investigate the case. Ok a week later another envelope was sent to his work that had a white powdery substant in a baggy was sent, from what my fiancé told me they just threw it in the tolit and filed it away. (I no i was upset by this point that know one was called). They a series of phone calls kept comming in with his work from some women saying he doesnt work there anymore, to he's dead, to hes not comming to work and a bunch of random calls all directed towards my fiance. Next phase of things happening involved my fiances father, he would get calls and texts and multimedia messages send to him that involved a picture of me followed by some thing nasty said.( Number would be blocked for calls, but shown for the texts, thats how we found out it maybe my mother doing it but not certain) Then phone call would also be sent to my fiances fathers work, his work had tryed to have the calls traced but I havent heard of the person calling his place of work again. Also there was a few nude photos send to his work addressed to him as well. Next thing that happened was someone sent a picture of my face to my fiances fathers Girlfriends realitor saying that the house they live in isnt for sale anymore(now this was really embarrassing for me, and they were starting to get mad). I on the other hand have been getting Unknown number that calls constantly and when you pick up the person (sometimes stays on the line for 5 seconds then hangs up) other times they just call for a sec and stop same thing happens to my fiances phone, but more intense. I have tryed to talk to my mother she wont answer the phone wont let me near the house and my father stands behind her %100, so I have no contact with them anymore because they I guess hate the person im with, but I really do believe its her trying to ruin our lives, and Ive wanted to call the cops or something but i dont no what to do im tired of playing these head games and I really would like it to stop. So if anyone on here could give me some real advice I would be greatly appreciated! <3

P.S. I tryed calling my cell phone provider to see if they could trace the calls but they couldnt :(
and the police that came in that day with my fiance about the note sent they never even did anything about the problem at all!

[mcsap]

Are you willing to have your mom arrested including testifying against her in court ?

And it sounds like your BF is the one who needs to file a formal complaint , not you.

[Hubcakes]

Are you willing to have your mom arrested including testifying against her in court ?

And it sounds like your BF is the one who needs to file a formal complaint , not you.

I would actually like to catch her in the mist of doing the action, to prove to my father that she is the one thats been doing this stuff all along. Ive had proof before but my father just denyed it. Theyv'e been married for over 31 years, I understand that my dad loves her but I just cant seem to get him to see what I see. Im afraid to goto court against her, I have NO idea what to do. See we have no viable proof that its her calling or her that sent the stuff to his work. So he wouldnt be able to file a complaint on her. We need to catch her somehow but I dont no how??

[pac201]

I would actually like to catch her in the mist of doing the action, to prove to my father that she is the one thats been doing this stuff all along. Ive had proof before but my father just denyed it. Theyv'e been married for over 31 years, I understand that my dad loves her but I just cant seem to get him to see what I see. Im afraid to goto court against her, I have NO idea what to do. See we have no viable proof that its her calling or her that sent the stuff to his work. So he wouldnt be able to file a complaint on her. We need to catch her somehow but I dont no how??

This is why the police "have done nothing"...if you are not willing to go to court, they cannot do anything.

[Samuel]

What proof do you have that someone in particular is responsible? (rhetorical)
Why do your parents not approve of your boyfriend? (rhetorical)
Change your phone numbers.

[Hubcakes]

This is why the police "have done nothing"...if you are not willing to go to court, they cannot do anything.

Im afraid theres NO VIABLE PROOF it is "her" or whoever is stalking us. I need help from i have no idea maybe a private dectective? I have no idea? to catch her in the act or someone to track the phone calls comming in to see if its her doing it, if it was then I would be more than willing to testify against her. ALSO the police said they would get back to my fiance and they never did, so whats that say for us? they didnt care enough?

@ Samuel my mother has set my fiance up more times than I can imagine with some really ignorant stuff, and Im the first child of my mothers and Ive never had a relationship before and me and my boyfriend use to see eachother too much according to her, she would use other people to spy on me during work or when I went out. (Noted I was 18 at the time, when I first began the relationship) Its getting to be too much and I want to catch her red handed, I strongly do believe she has somekind of mental illness brought on by me leaving and her father dying this past year, shes gone completely crazy. Also I want to get my number changed, but I dont know how much that'll cost and Im struggling as it is to make ends meat....

[icu650]

It is very common for a person who is so upset to get a one track mind concerning the person who is causing this stress. They tend to not look anywhere else because they either think they are right or do not want to find out if it is anyone else. I am going to ask you a couple of questions and I want you to be very honest to yourself when answering;
Why does you mother hate your finance' so much?
What did he do?
How does he respond to your mother?
Was your fiance ever arrested?
If yes, was it for drugs?
If yes, did he get arrested with anyone else at the same time?
If yes, was that other person a girl?
You mentioned that a picture of your face was sent, do you know where and when that was taken?
Who could possibly know your fiance's fathers girlfriends realtor?
Please answer these if you would like, then we can go on.

[Hubcakes]

It is very common for a person who is so upset to get a one track mind concerning the person who is causing this stress. They tend to not look anywhere else because they either think they are right or do not want to find out if it is anyone else. I am going to ask you a couple of questions and I want you to be very honest to yourself when answering;
Why does you mother hate your finance' so much?
What did he do?
How does he respond to your mother?
Was your fiance ever arrested?
If yes, was it for drugs?
If yes, did he get arrested with anyone else at the same time?
If yes, was that other person a girl?
You mentioned that a picture of your face was sent, do you know where and when that was taken?
Who could possibly know your fiance's fathers girlfriends realtor?
Please answer these if you would like, then we can go on.

Let me just say your are very right about your statements I highlighted in Bold, she does have a one track mind and its only gotten worst this past year. Ok I will try to answer your questions the best I can. I personally have No idea why she hates him so much, Ive heard from other people, that its because he stole me away from my family and her(even though I was 18 when I started dating him and it was my choice whatever I did). She would become upset when I would call her right after I was finsihed at work or went out with friends. (I also worked with my fiance at the time). He was very welcomed to idea of actually beening apart of my family( because his family was split up and he had a rough childhood with his mother) but he tryed his hardest to impress my parents and especially my mother ( he was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend). No my fiance has never been arrested, hes gotten a ticket before, and i was witness to that. We both dont do drugs or smoke or drink at all, ( my mother on the otherhand has been smoking pot since i can remember even growing it. Im not sure if she does anymore though. I have no idea about the picture all I no is that it was sent to the realitor in september, my fiances dads GF was pissed at me because she thought I was trying to sabotosh her house getting sold, which made me sad.

Do you think someones stalking us though?....Its actually been 2 months now since nothing has occurred, so were just waiting for the next thing to happen, if it does.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he was referring to you having a one track mind about your mother causing the problems.

It's been 2 months since anything has happened and you just now decide, out of the blue, to post about it? "so were (sic) just waiting for the next thing to happen, if it does"? Jesus, do the two of you sit at home shaking like frigid chihuahuas?? Sounds like you and him are maintaining stress in your lives that doesn't need to be there. Change your phone number, get out of the house, take some English classes, whatever; and quit being held hostage by your fear. Don't let the terrorists win!! (That was a joke. Mostly...)

[icu650]

Sgt. Slaughter is correct, I was referring to you as possibly having a one track mind concerning "It has to be your mother". His advice to you is right on the money. Don't sit around waiting for maybe nothing to happen. Who helped you writing the last two posts? Have you tried to possibley tell the police department enough so that maybe they will put your mother away somewhere and you and your fiance' can then do whatever you want. You are twenty years old now. At what age did you start having big problems with your mother? Please don't say it only started when your fiance' came around, that would be hard to believe. How about 15-16 years old?

[greg72982]

Just an FYI this would be most likely considered harassment, not stalking, if anything. Here are the statutes:

2709. Harassment.
(a) Offense defined.--A person commits the crime of
harassment when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another,
the person:
(1) strikes, shoves, kicks or otherwise subjects the
other person to physical contact, or attempts or threatens to
do the same;
(2) follows the other person in or about a public place
or places;
(3) engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits
acts which serve no legitimate purpose;
(4) communicates to or about such other person any lewd,
lascivious, threatening or obscene words, language, drawings
or caricatures;
(5) communicates repeatedly in an anonymous manner;
(6) communicates repeatedly at extremely inconvenient
hours; or
(7) communicates repeatedly in a manner other than
specified in paragraphs (4), (5) and (6).
(b) Stalking.--(Deleted by amendment).
(b.1) Venue.--
(1) An offense committed under this section may be
deemed to have been committed at either the place at which
the communication or communications were made or at the place
where the communication or communications were received.
(2) Acts indicating a course of conduct which occur in
more than one jurisdiction may be used by any other
jurisdiction in which an act occurred as evidence of a
continuing pattern of conduct or a course of conduct.
(c) Grading.--
(1) An offense under subsection (a)(1), (2) or (3) shall
constitute a summary offense.
(2) (i) An offense under subsection (a)(4), (5), (6) or
(7) shall constitute a misdemeanor of the third degree.
(ii) (Deleted by amendment).
(d) False reports.--A person who knowingly gives false
information to any law enforcement officer with the intent to
implicate another under this section commits an offense under
section 4906 (relating to false reports to law enforcement
authorities).
(e) Application of section.--This section shall not apply to
conduct by a party to a labor dispute as defined in the act of
June 2, 1937 (P.L.1198, No.308), known as the Labor Anti-
Injunction Act, or to any constitutionally protected activity.
(e.1) Course of conduct.--(Deleted by amendment).
(f) Definitions.--As used in this section, the following
words and phrases shall have the meanings given to them in this
subsection:
"Communicates." Conveys a message without intent of
legitimate communication or address by oral, nonverbal, written
or electronic means, including telephone, electronic mail,
Internet, facsimile, telex, wireless communication or similar
transmission.
"Course of conduct." A pattern of actions composed of more
than one act over a period of time, however short, evidencing a
continuity of conduct. Acts indicating a course of conduct which
occur in more than one jurisdiction may be used by any other
jurisdiction in which an act occurred as evidence of a
continuing pattern of conduct or a course of conduct.

§ 2709.1. Stalking.
(a) Offense defined.--A person commits the crime of stalking
when the person either:
(1) engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits
acts toward another person, including following the person
without proper authority, under circumstances which
demonstrate either an intent to place such other person in
reasonable fear of bodily injury or to cause substantial
emotional distress to such other person; or
(2) engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly
communicates to another person under circumstances which
demonstrate or communicate either an intent to place such
other person in reasonable fear of bodily injury or to cause
substantial emotional distress to such other person.
(b) Venue.--
(1) An offense committed under this section may be
deemed to have been committed at either the place at which
the communication or communications were made or at the place
where the communication or communications were received.
(2) Acts indicating a course of conduct which occur in
more than one jurisdiction may be used by any other
jurisdiction in which an act occurred as evidence of a
continuing pattern of conduct or a course of conduct.
(c) Grading.--
(1) Except as otherwise provided for in paragraph (2), a
first offense under this section shall constitute a
misdemeanor of the first degree.
(2) A second or subsequent offense under this section or
a first offense under subsection (a) if the person has been
previously convicted of a crime of violence involving the
same victim, family or household member, including, but not
limited to, a violation of section 2701 (relating to simple
assault), 2702 (relating to aggravated assault), 2705
(relating to recklessly endangering another person), 2901
(relating to kidnapping), 3121 (relating to rape) or 3123
(relating to involuntary deviate sexual intercourse), an
order issued under section 4954 (relating to protective
orders) or an order issued under 23 Pa.C.S. § 6108 (relating
to relief) shall constitute a felony of the third degree.
(d) False reports.--A person who knowingly gives false
information to any law enforcement officer with the intent to
implicate another under this section commits an offense under
section 4906 (relating to false reports to law enforcement
authorities).
(e) Application of section.--This section shall not apply to
conduct by a party to a labor dispute as defined in the act of
June 2, 1937 (P.L.1198, No.308), known as the Labor Anti-
Injunction Act, or to any constitutionally protected activity.
(f) Definitions.--As used in this section, the following
words and phrases shall have the meanings given to them in this
subsection:
"Communicates." To convey a message without intent of
legitimate communication or address by oral, nonverbal, written
or electronic means, including telephone, electronic mail,
Internet, facsimile, telex, wireless communication or similar
transmission.
"Course of conduct." A pattern of actions composed of more
than one act over a period of time, however short, evidencing a
continuity of conduct. The term includes lewd, lascivious,
threatening or obscene words, language, drawings, caricatures or
actions, either in person or anonymously. Acts indicating a
course of conduct which occur in more than one jurisdiction may
be used by any other jurisdiction in which an act occurred as
evidence of a continuing pattern of conduct or a course of
conduct.
"Emotional distress." A temporary or permanent state of
mental anguish.
"Family or household member." Spouses or persons who have
been spouses, persons living as spouses or who lived as spouses,
parents and children, other persons related by consanguinity or
affinity, current or former sexual or intimate partners or
persons who share biological parenthood.

[manahmanah]

People like this are one of the reasons I hate my job sometimes.

[Hubcakes]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he was referring to you having a one track mind about your mother causing the problems.

It's been 2 months since anything has happened and you just now decide, out of the blue, to post about it? "so were (sic) just waiting for the next thing to happen, if it does"? Jesus, do the two of you sit at home shaking like frigid chihuahuas?? Sounds like you and him are maintaining stress in your lives that doesn't need to be there. Change your phone number, get out of the house, take some English classes, whatever; and quit being held hostage by your fear. Don't let the terrorists win!! (That was a joke. Mostly...)

I do not like the insults you point towards me sir, I am very well educated. I have been trying to find answers as to what I should do, and were not just sitting around doing nothing just waiting for whoever it is to attack us. ( and for the record I did say in the first post, if you even read it " or SOMEONE") so I would please like it if you would not slander my comments. I am planning to change my phone number at the end of the phone when our contract is up, (So I don't get charged for it)

@ icu650...
No, no, no I don't have a one track mind about I always think its her doing it and stuff like that even though she knows everything about me and she knows enough about my fiance. I was just making a assumption that it could possible be her doing it. I mean It very well could be a few people I no of, but my main concern is to get a idea of what I should do? No one helped me write any of these post, I'm in college for English major, I can do a lot of writing. I mean Ive had problems with her my whole life who doesn't have problems but when I started getting older and wanted to get out and live my life it seems she had a problem with it, and especially when I met my fiance.( so when I was 17 id say problems began happening). She always had to know everything that happen at school and work it seemed, and when Id have friends over she was right there constantly, wouldnt leave us alone, I mean she was a Cool Mom! but very in the way at times.

Listen I would just like to know what I should do, some of you say tesify against her, ( with what?) and some say change everything and move away. ( I dont live with my parents I live with my fiance at least 150 miles away), and we dont have the money to just pick up and move away were both still in college and working with no children.

@greg72982

(1) strikes, shoves, kicks or otherwise subjects the
other person to physical contact. YES THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE< I CALLED THE COPS AND THEY JUST TAGGED IT AS DOMESTIC VIOLENSE EVEN THOUGH SHE KICKED THE DOOR IN ON MY FACE AND GAVE ME A BLACK EYE, (I was 18 at the time and didnt want to press charged because she convinced me not to, said that I will tare the family apart without her there).

Stalking (1) - She has had people follow me and report back to her where I was and what I was doing. (I dont know if this is considered this, but its pretty nerve racking when you slightly convey your story of where you were and what you were doing alittle differently to your mother and No its never the right answer and she says your lying to me again and takes all your stuff and throws it outside and trashes all your stuff.) she use to do that to me repeatedly when she was pissed off Id come home from work and all my stuff was packed EVERYDAY, I lived in a HELL WHOLE for awhile till my fiance said no your not living there anymore, I cant stand you living through this and I told him he was right and I never looked back since then.

I mean dont get me wrong with any of this I love my parents alot, but interfering with my new life that im about to embark on, Is just holding me back. Well I hope this helps and If i did call the cops about this problem do you think theyd re open the case and help me? Or am I just wasting my time asking yous for help?

[icu650]

No, I don't think your wasting your time. You are concerned and I needed to ask you questions. You may not have liked some of them but they are meant to help. As stated somewhere on another post, check with your states'
Aggravated Harassment Laws involving the mail or phone. Nothing has happened in two months. Great. Change all your phone numbers passwords etc. and don't let anyone know them that doesn't have to. If you have a problem again after these quiet two months go down to the Police Station and see if they could suggest a way to get those incoming calls by request or supboena, and file another report. Be ready to have that person arrested no matter what. Meanwhile, while it is quiet now, go out with your fiance' and enjoy yourselves. Whoever is doing this wants you to be upset try not to let them win. Good Luck

[Hubcakes]

Ok that sounds like a good idea, I will look into that if anything changes. Thank You!