A touchy moment from my past...

[Penta]

I never thought I'd be writing about this anywhere, but here goes nothin. If it matters, the state in question for all of this is New Jersey - it's all in the past enough that I feel comfortable talking about it, but it leaves me with lingering questions. Anyhow, the situation:

When I was 12, for a whole bunch of reasons (some aren't exactly clear, 14 years later, I'll be totally honest), I pondered suicide. Pondered, not attempted. Unfortunately, I did this while I was on vacation, via email to a friend. Friend told parents, his parents called neighbor across the street (nobody knew I was in Boston at grandparents at the time, while parents were on vacation by themselves I forget where), neighbor called the cops...Suffice to say, when I got home, I wound up having very uncomfortable talks with my parents, my friend's parents...Oh, and I could have sworn the local PD's juvenile detective was involved somewhere in there, too. It never went anywhere like a family court proceeding; though I did wind up seeing a psychologist against my will, he couldn't find anything specifically clinically diagnosable with me at the time.

Flash forward to when I'm 15, and I'm pulled out of school for what the school thought were suicidal ideations and sent to the hospital, where I spent 10 immensely memorable days inpatient in the child & adolescent psych unit. In truth, I was suicidal (why is mostly related to my disabilities), though a good bit of the reaction was probably because I was a typically non-communicative teenager. It wouldn't stick; I'd be back to the psych ER on two more occasions that school year, the first time being sent home, the second time being sent to an outpatient all-day program. End result, I wound up spending my last two years of HS at an alternative HS for kids with emotional issues, then came college and stuff. However, since then, I've never had situations as serious - certainly none where anyone had to dial 911, though there were a few times I've had it threatened if I didn't start to actually communicate during difficult times; point is that by now, the depression is under control thanks to counseling and meds.

Here's why I ask: I don't plan on becoming a LEO. I'm blind, it's just not happening, psych issues aside. However...

However, is there any reason I should even think these incidents (I'm 26, so they're all some 10+ years in the past - and all from before I turned 18) could "come back to haunt me", say as a result of a background check or other investigation into my past? What's the legal situation? Are they like juvenile criminal proceedings and they're merely sealed at 18 but the record can be unsealed, or do they actively "go poof"?

For that matter, if I'm merely committed (involuntarily or voluntarily) after 18, and not judged incompetent by a court, are records kept that could be dredged up by a background check? (I doubt it'll happen to me, I hope it'll never happen...But I'm asking anyway, because I have a healthy respect for the ability of life to take unexpected turns.)

Plain and simple, what happens to records of cases where the cops get called because you're suicidal?

[Citicop]

It depends on the nature of the background check.

For instance, checks for LEO positions (among others) require you to sign a release allowing them access to all of your medical records. They can find them because you gave them permission to look at them.

-Citicop.

[Piggy]

Has there been anything since turning age 18?

[Penta]

Has there been anything since turning age 18?

No, not to the point where anyone had to call 911...Which is partially why I ask. With any mental illness, there's an element of "this could come up to bite you if you don't keep a watch on it", though, so I never rule out the possibility of something (and who knows what that could be, I've had some close calls) throwing me into a situation where something could happen.

I'm used to acting with abundance of caution on anything to do with my mental health or medical history - however, the whole reason I ask is to determine whether I should also wonder about those few times I've wound up in the police logs.