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  1. #1
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    how can I get help revoking elderly parent's driver's license?

    My father is 82 years old. He lives alone since Mom died five years ago. He still pastors a local church and presides over services three times a week. He lives fifteen miles out of town and drives in for all of those services plus weekly runs to grocery shop and do banking.

    Four years ago when he went to get his license renewed the person who waited on him "felt sorry" for him because he gave a sob story about Mom dying. She allowed him to cheat on his test by giving him multiple chances to guess at the letters on the vision test. I know this because I was there.

    He recently went to get his license renewed and failed (thank God) the vision test. They gave him 10 days to get corrective glasses and return to retake the test. During that ten days he continued to drive. I have taken him to a local eye doctor and discovered that he has severe glaucoma and cataracts. He his HELL bent on getting corrective glasses and getting his license back.

    My problem is that his vision isn't his only problem. Dad's reflex and response/reaction time is horrific. He recently turned onto a dead end road at night, crashed into trees then backed up to turn around and would have driven straight into a 12 foot deep ditch but his car bottomed out on the edged, preventing him from going in. He got help to pull the car out and no one called the cops.

    As recently as 2 weeks ago he ran into a barricade (breaking it) in a road construction zone. He simply backed up and drove away.

    Both his vehicles (a Lincoln and a Mercury Marquis) look like they've been through a war zone. Parking light lenses get broken out regularly, huge chunks missing from the rubberized section of the back bumpers, etc.

    I fear that he will, in fact, get glasses strong enough to pass the vision test and re-obtain his license. I am in Louisiana and I have called local LEAs and have been told there is nothing they can do until he is caught driving without a valid license, or there is an accident.

    I don't want to have to go to the scene of a wreck where my father (or God forbid a family) is wrapped around a tree on the side of a road.

    Dad is livid with me and calls me a traitor for trying to help him see that it's a MORAL issue (I'm trying to play on his religious beliefs). He says he'd rather be dead then be "stuck at home and not able to come and go as he pleases".

    I have siblings, yes, but they aren't in the picture, if you get my drift.

    Regardless of how angry he is, I am determined to see that he does not drive any more. Yes, I have assured him that I will make sure he gets to go to the bank, grocery store, etc.

    Do any of you know of any legal avenues I can take to prevent a tragedy?

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    retdetsgt's Avatar
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    Contact the DMV in your state and see if there is a way you can request to have him rechecked. Failing that, if you have a family doctor, contact the doctor and see if he will contact DMV for you.

    I'm only familiar with Oregon, but a family member here can actually remain anonymous as far as your father is concerned regarding who requested he be tested.

    It's just me, but I would contact DMV and report that worker who allowed him to cheat. That's not only illegal, but unethical. Her "kindness" may get someone killed.

    BTW, any police officer in Oregon who sees someone driving that they are concerned about can get them retested by DMV.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat_Doc View Post
    You just gotta realize he is hard of hearing and cranky, and try to speak up more clearly next time and make it perfectly clear what you were saying so there is no misinterpretation. You gotta try not to get mad at the old guy, recognizing the issue at hand.

  3. #3
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    Oh, I failed to mention that he drives under the influence of Xanax (been on it six years), Darvocet and Neurontin. I've tried to explain that DUI doesn't mean ONLY alcohol. He does not listen.

    He can't walk (except for short distances) due to severely arthritic knees. He has three motorized chairs, two at home and one at church.

    I've jumped through all the hoops to get him approved for knee surgery three times, only to have him cancel at the last moment. He's what I call a "professional victim", in that he loves the attention that being in pain and crippled affords him.

    He is a huge pain in the tookus and very cantankerous (which is why my siblings aren't in the picture). I've thought about trying to take his keys, but he wouldn't hesitate to call the sheriff on me and I have no idea how many sets of keys he has.

    I plan to call the Louisiana DMV in the morning and I've tried to research online what the results will be; will they demand that he take a driving test, etc. Oh I'm quite sure he could make it around a few city blocks on his best behavior long enough to convince them he can drive safely.

    I do not allow him to drive while I'm in the car, but in a weak moment this week I allowed him to drive about three miles from my home to the eye doctor. Three times he scared the beejezus out of me. I told him then and there, NEVER again. Of course he got angry.



    As of Friday his license is expired, so I have a few days to try to ensure that he doesn't get them back, since he has to have more surgery on his eyes, but I also fear that he (being so stubborn) will sneak out and drive under expired license.

    Sheesh, elderly parents! They act like spoiled kids, but unlike spoiled kids you can't discipline them.

  4. #4
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    Yes, I was livid with the DMV employee who allowed him to cheat like that. "No, Mr. Smith, that's not a B, can you guess again?" She allowed him 4 or 5 guesses several times.

    I was standing behind him shaking my head NO! but she ignored me.

    He goes to a small rural town to get his license renewal (and has done so for several years) because he thinks they're more lenient there. It appears he is correct.

    With it being such a small office, I imagine I could file that report on her even now and someone could figure out who allowed him to cheat.

  5. #5
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    His license is now expired according to your post and I highly doubt he will able to get it renewed. If he's caught driving, he can be cited and/or arrested for driving without a license. If he's under the influence he will be arrested for DUI. Maybe what he needs is a harsh lesson to teach him his driving is a danger to himself and to others. It's heartbreaking and I hope I don't have to go through the same thing with my dad when he starts getting up there in age. He can be pretty stubborn sometimes as well, but it's more important to keep him safe. I know he would never live down hurting someone else and being at fault. I would think your dad is the same way. Do what you can to keep him off the road. You can't watch him every minute (you have to live life too). Is there anyone else in the family that can help out?

  6. #6
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    Take his keys away!


    Be Safe.
    "I'M WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE"

  7. #7
    Creeker's Avatar
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    Take his battery, take his spark plug wire... I am sure there are simpler things a mechanic can tell you to take off of a car to keep it from running.

    I don't envy you, but I am kind of at the same place with my father-in-law. Either my wife or I drive her parents to 95% of their appointments or stores. Her mother only has the use of one hand (stroke), and the other day forgot how to put their car in drive after she backed out of their driveway for a hair appointment. Funny, but alarming at the same time.
    My Inalienable Rights were given to me by God and NOT by the Government.


    "The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."- Patrick Henry



  8. #8
    retdetsgt's Avatar
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    The others are right. You may have to just stand up to him and tell him he's not driving anymore. That will be tough, but not as tough as having to deal with him running over some kid.

    There comes a point where you have to be the parent.

    Good luck.
    I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was, and now what I'm with isn't it. And what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. -Grampa Simpson

    My Little Buddy
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat_Doc View Post
    You just gotta realize he is hard of hearing and cranky, and try to speak up more clearly next time and make it perfectly clear what you were saying so there is no misinterpretation. You gotta try not to get mad at the old guy, recognizing the issue at hand.

  9. #9
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    You guys have been a huge help, if only in a supportive capacity. I just got off the phone with Louisiana DMV a bit ago and was advised to download the form: Driver Conditional Behavior Report from their site. I have done so, and this is the perfect solution to my problem!

    BTW, those advising that I disable his vehicle; if he caught me doing that he'd call the Sheriff's department on me, and even if I did it without getting caught, he's very mechanically capable and would either fix it himself or call someone to fix it.


    I also found a Senior Transport Service for his area. For a ONE DOLLAR round trip he can go anywhere on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Their vans are chair lift equipped. Of course when I just told him that he was less than thankful or enthusiastic. :( He thinks he should be able to go anywhere, any time, at the drop of a hat. Grrrrrrrr

    He is a perfect example of why I believe in the right to die. I've long said I do NOT wish to live to the age/condition where I am a burden to my family and can't do for myself.

    (Please don't throw cyber stones at me. It's my belief and I should be entitled to it.)

  10. #10
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    BTW, I want to tell you guys that just reading your signature/tag lines beneath your posts is sheer inspiration.

    While I'm not an LEO, I recently lost a dear friend who was. His story can be found by Googling

    J.R. Searcy Ouachita Parish

  11. #11
    Ispbear's Avatar
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    Try switching his plug wires around to different positions. For even a mechanical minded person that is a sure nightmare. Don't worry about the Sheriff's being called, it would have to be a real piece of work deputy to not understand the problem and what you are doing. Otherwise your doing all the right things, It's just like dealing with a child and it's called tough love. Don't hesitate to call him out on the carpet letting him know that he might get a family killed because of his actions.
    Excuse me Officer, I have a stupid Question. "No problem, I've got a stupid answer for you!"

  12. #12
    DontTreadOnMe is offline Junior Member DontTreadOnMe is on a distinguished road
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    Thanks again guys, for all your support and suggestions. I have filled out that form, and I'm sending it accompanied by a 2 page letter describing all the reasons he should not be given a license, via Certified letter, return receipt requested.

    I asked for anonymity, but if they don't honor that <shrug>. I have to do what my conscience tells me is the right and moral thing to do.

    Now, if he gives any further indication that he'll get in a vehicle and drive without a license, well <grin> I'm more mechanically inclined than the average female. After all, I installed the battery that is currently in his car. I can dang sure remove it.

  13. #13
    Creeker's Avatar
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    BTW, I love the name you picked to use on the forum. It has a familiar ring to it.

    Good Luck.
    My Inalienable Rights were given to me by God and NOT by the Government.


    "The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."- Patrick Henry



  14. #14
    mcsap is offline Veteran member ( retired) mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute mcsap has a reputation beyond repute
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    Find out who his insurance agent is and give them a heads up as to the " new risk " that they now have. They may either wish to cancel his ins. or put him in an expensive HIGH risk category.

    I turned my own dad in to his local PD 2 years ago. He was getting bad and he couldn't pass the restest. Now at age 90 , he is on a kick to get his license back and wants to know if I ( as a PO ) can get him a temporary license ??!!!!

    My mom crashed and rolled her car last year and I asked the officer to submit a drivers retest form on her , which he did. She chose to not take the test and gave up her license.

  15. #15
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    Your dad's physicians can also submit the same form that you submitted. I know that down here if the form is submitted by a LEO or a physician it usually carries a bit more weight than if it's submitted by a family member or other random person. Getting bureaucrats to do something with any form of expediency is difficult sometimes, and I doubt you'll get a quick response from the DMV.

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