How much do you tell your s/o in regards to cases you worked that day

[studentcj]

are you real specific or rather vague, or do you just not talk about your day at all when you come home. Does she ask a lot of questions or just wait until you tell her

[retdetsgt]

I hated reliving my day when I got home. If something funny or interesting happened, I would tell her about it. Or I might talk about interactions with co workers, especially ones she knew. But I didn't care to go into cases or incidents involving the public. In fact, my rule has always been, leave me alone for at least 30 minutes to decompress and change life roles. Me the cop was not the same person as me at home and that made it better for everyone all the way around.

My wife on the other hand, needed to tell me about her day from A to Z. It drove me nuts, but that was her way of letting the day go so I did my best to pretend to listen.

[Joeyd6]

We always ask about each others day. Like RDS, my wife gives me every detail of her day. I share the details of teh funny stuff or the really crazy stuff that is entertaining. I don't go into the really bad stuff with her. She did not sign-up for that or ask to be exposed to it, and I won't "taint" her view of the world with the disgusting things cops deal with. Besides, if she really knew everything I did or do, she woudl spend half her day worrying about me.

[Kimble]

...or do you just not talk about your day at all when you come home.

People that do that (cop or not) don't keep a significant other for very long.

[retdetsgt]

so I did my best to pretend to listen.

You realize that if I suddenly disappear, it's because she came here and read that line........

[greg72982]

You realize that if I suddenly disappear, it's because she came here and read that line........

Not necessarily. Most women understand we dont always fully listen.

[manahmanah]

Like most others, I mostly just share general things here and there with her. While my wife is there for me, she did not sign up to be a permanent pin cushion for whenever I have a bad day.

[kels]

You need to choose your words carefully.

Telling the 1/2 it was a very bad accident is fine.
Telling the 1/2 that the person was cut in half and
their guts were all over the inside of the car comes
under they dont need to know.

Everyone likes to rubberneck and know about stuff.
You just need to decided what you are going to say.

The worst thing is serving a search warrant.
When I drag my H&K 91 out of the closet and tell her
we are going out to play, it bothers her.
She understands how bad stuff can get.
But she doesnt ask who and where anymore.
I will tell her when I get back if I can.

PS it doesnt hurt to call home and tell them
things are ok and the hard part is done.

[QldCop]

Not necessarily. Most women understand we dont always fully listen.

Funny, my wife says i dont listen FULL STOP!!

[Cat_Doc]

PS it doesnt hurt to call home and tell them
things are ok and the hard part is done.

Huge hell yeah on that.

A few years ago, mine knew that we were going out early for a search warrant in another county. Two deputies got shot and wounded during the SW. My first call was to our dispatch to inform them of two officers down, but they were not our people. Second call was to home to let her know I was okay because I knew the media was going to be on it like ants on a sugar cube.

[retdetsgt]

I was divorced most of the time I worked drugs. I met one lady for lunch that I kinda liked and in casual conversation, I told her what I'd done so far today and what I was going to do that afternoon. I didn't think it was a big deal, but she got wide eyed and said, "Wow, I can't believe I know someone like you."

I thought, geez, I would never be able to tell her about the dangerous or bad stuff.....

I was probably more willing to talk about my shift when I worked uniform than when I worked detectives. There things were a little more superficial for me than they were when I was carrying a case load. What I mean by superficial is that I didn't have deal with the situation any longer and it was over and done with for me. It was generally easier for me to let go of.

In detectives, the case was with me all the time and it was an effort to leave it at work to begin with. Talking about it let it intrude into my private life too much.

Well, it makes sense to me......

[BP348]

You need to choose your words carefully.

Telling the 1/2 it was a very bad accident is fine.
Telling the 1/2 that the person was cut in half and
their guts were all over the inside of the car comes
under they dont need to know.

Everyone likes to rubberneck and know about stuff.
You just need to decided what you are going to say.

The worst thing is serving a search warrant.
When I drag my H&K 91 out of the closet and tell her
we are going out to play, it bothers her.
She understands how bad stuff can get.
But she doesnt ask who and where anymore.
I will tell her when I get back if I can.

PS it doesnt hurt to call home and tell them
things are ok and the hard part is done.

Big +1 to the above!!