can my dad get in trouble for this?

[Dr4g0n]

I posted last summer cause I wanted to be an explorer and my dad who’s a cop wouldn’t let me. I don’t care that much about the explorer thing anymore I mean I still want to do it but if my dad doesn’t want it it’s fine. My dad was acting strange and now it’s just got worse. He doesn’t talk much anymore and just keeps to himself all the time like he doesn’t want to be around anyone and like everything and everybody gets on his nerves. He also is REALLY REALLY sensitive to any kind of noise like music, people talking, TV, cars going by and if something drops on the floor or something it startles him like crazy. A while back I talked to a friend who’s dad is also a cop and he said there was a shootout with a couple perps my dad was involved in and one was killed but my dad never said anything about it to me. Is this why he’s so sensitive to noise and why he’s in such a bad mood? I just stay out of his way but during recess my brother and sister were here cause my mom and my stepfather went on vacation and they are younger so they want to be around there dad and do stuff with him but he just gets annoyed with them. I tried my best to just entertain them and keep them out of his hair as much as I could but it wasn’t easy. My dad never hit any of us accept me once last summer but now he’s always on edge and snaps over small stuff. With in the last few days he slapped my 10 yearold brother in the face for having the TV turned up too loud and another time for making too much noise playing a video game and he slapped my 7 yearold sister twice for talking in the car while he was driving and an other time spanked her for singing. Last night my sister wanted to tell our dad about a choir performance she will be in when he got home from work but he told her to leave him alone but she kept trying to talk to him. She does talk a lot and it was probably annoying but he started yelling at her and slapped her again and she started to cry and left. I’m not sure what exactly happened later but she must have gone back to him and I heard my dad yell and my sister came to my room crying and with a strip of tape across her mouth. Her lips were all messed up and bleeding after I took the tape off and she’s really scared of him now. My siblings are going back to our moms tonight and I don’t know what to tell her when she comes pick them up. I’m sure she’ll notice my sister’s lips but I’m scared what will happen if I tell her that my dad put tape on her mouth. I’m sure my mom would be really mad at my dad and probably try to have him arrested or something. What would happen? Can he loose his job over something like that? Should I tell my mom that it was me who hurt my sister? I don’t want him to get in trouble but my siblings are really scared of him now and my sister says she doesn’t want to come back and I don’t know how to explain that to my mom.

[Creeker]

I posted last summer cause I wanted to be an explorer and my dad who’s a cop wouldn’t let me. I don’t care that much about the explorer thing anymore I mean I still want to do it but if my dad doesn’t want it it’s fine. My dad was acting strange and now it’s just got worse. He doesn’t talk much anymore and just keeps to himself all the time like he doesn’t want to be around anyone and like everything and everybody gets on his nerves. He also is REALLY REALLY sensitive to any kind of noise like music, people talking, TV, cars going by and if something drops on the floor or something it startles him like crazy. A while back I talked to a friend who’s dad is also a cop and he said there was a shootout with a couple perps my dad was involved in and one was killed but my dad never said anything about it to me. Is this why he’s so sensitive to noise and why he’s in such a bad mood? I just stay out of his way but during recess my brother and sister were here cause my mom and my stepfather went on vacation and they are younger so they want to be around there dad and do stuff with him but he just gets annoyed with them. I tried my best to just entertain them and keep them out of his hair as much as I could but it wasn’t easy. My dad never hit any of us accept me once last summer but now he’s always on edge and snaps over small stuff. With in the last few days he slapped my 10 yearold brother in the face for having the TV turned up too loud and another time for making too much noise playing a video game and he slapped my 7 yearold sister twice for talking in the car while he was driving and an other time spanked her for singing. Last night my sister wanted to tell our dad about a choir performance she will be in when he got home from work but he told her to leave him alone but she kept trying to talk to him. She does talk a lot and it was probably annoying but he started yelling at her and slapped her again and she started to cry and left. I’m not sure what exactly happened later but she must have gone back to him and I heard my dad yell and my sister came to my room crying and with a strip of tape across her mouth. Her lips were all messed up and bleeding after I took the tape off and she’s really scared of him now. My siblings are going back to our moms tonight and I don’t know what to tell her when she comes pick them up. I’m sure she’ll notice my sister’s lips but I’m scared what will happen if I tell her that my dad put tape on her mouth. I’m sure my mom would be really mad at my dad and probably try to have him arrested or something. What would happen? Can he loose his job over something like that? Should I tell my mom that it was me who hurt my sister? I don’t want him to get in trouble but my siblings are really scared of him now and my sister says she doesn’t want to come back and I don’t know how to explain that to my mom.

OK, I am really tired and had a difficult time following this, but there is one thing I've learned in life:

It is much easier to remember the truth. Be careful that you don't embellish it.

[Samuel]

I posted last summer cause I wanted to be an explorer and my dad who’s a cop wouldn’t let me. I don’t care that much about the explorer thing anymore I mean I still want to do it but if my dad doesn’t want it it’s fine. My dad was acting strange and now it’s just got worse. He doesn’t talk much anymore and just keeps to himself all the time like he doesn’t want to be around anyone and like everything and everybody gets on his nerves. He also is REALLY REALLY sensitive to any kind of noise like music, people talking, TV, cars going by and if something drops on the floor or something it startles him like crazy. A while back I talked to a friend who’s dad is also a cop and he said there was a shootout with a couple perps my dad was involved in and one was killed but my dad never said anything about it to me. Is this why he’s so sensitive to noise and why he’s in such a bad mood? I just stay out of his way but during recess my brother and sister were here cause my mom and my stepfather went on vacation and they are younger so they want to be around there dad and do stuff with him but he just gets annoyed with them. I tried my best to just entertain them and keep them out of his hair as much as I could but it wasn’t easy. My dad never hit any of us accept me once last summer but now he’s always on edge and snaps over small stuff. With in the last few days he slapped my 10 yearold brother in the face for having the TV turned up too loud and another time for making too much noise playing a video game and he slapped my 7 yearold sister twice for talking in the car while he was driving and an other time spanked her for singing. Last night my sister wanted to tell our dad about a choir performance she will be in when he got home from work but he told her to leave him alone but she kept trying to talk to him. She does talk a lot and it was probably annoying but he started yelling at her and slapped her again and she started to cry and left. I’m not sure what exactly happened later but she must have gone back to him and I heard my dad yell and my sister came to my room crying and with a strip of tape across her mouth. Her lips were all messed up and bleeding after I took the tape off and she’s really scared of him now. My siblings are going back to our moms tonight and I don’t know what to tell her when she comes pick them up. I’m sure she’ll notice my sister’s lips but I’m scared what will happen if I tell her that my dad put tape on her mouth. I’m sure my mom would be really mad at my dad and probably try to have him arrested or something. What would happen? Can he loose his job over something like that? Should I tell my mom that it was me who hurt my sister? I don’t want him to get in trouble but my siblings are really scared of him now and my sister says she doesn’t want to come back and I don’t know how to explain that to my mom.

IF what you say is true, your dad may need someone to talk to (non-professional and possibly professional as well). Is he still on good terms with your mom? Do you know any of his work friends or best non-duty friends?

[Dr4g0n]

IF what you say is true, your dad may need someone to talk to (non-professional and possibly professional as well). Is he still on good terms with your mom? Do you know any of his work friends or best non-duty friends?

No he's not on good terms with my mom which is part of why I'm afraid to tell her. She will probably try to get him in trouble and my stepfather would defnitely do the same thing. His close friends all work with him and I know his partner well and my friend's dad but I'm afraid they will think less of him or maybe even report it and I don't want to make his job worse for him.

[Sierra]

Sigh...see below.

[Sierra]

If you know his partner well, talk to him. If my family knows my partners or coworkers, it is because I trust them enough to meet my family. If I can't stand someone or don't want anything to do with him, he certainly isn't going to be someone I am around off duty.

This may be something that your dad is masking and the partners haven't seen it. It is also possible they do not know the extent of his problems. If the situation isn't addressed, how long do you think he can stay a cop?

Based on what I read, yes, he can get in trouble. Many agencies have counseling or programs available for officers to use, even if it seems unmanly.

[Dr4g0n]

If you know his partner well, talk to him. If my family knows my partners or coworkers, it is because I trust them enough to meet my family. If I can't stand someone or don't want anything to do with him, he certainly isn't going to be someone I am around off duty.

This may be something that your dad is masking and the partners haven't seen it. It is also possible they do not know the extent of his problems. If the situation isn't addressed, how long do you think he can stay a cop?

Based on what I read, yes, he can get in trouble. Many agencies have counseling or programs available for officers to use, even if it seems unmanly.

I trust his partner a lot and I talked to him in the past about stuff when I was afraid to talk to my dad which wasn't often because my dad and I used to talk about pretty much everything until recently. But it's different to talk to him ABOUT my dad cause it feels like I'm ratting my dad out or something especially to someone he works with. Maybe you can relate better to this I mean how would you react if your partner's kid told you this? Is there anything you could do to help??

Tonight I told my mom that I played with my siblings and put the tape on my sisters mouth and didn't realize it would hurt her and I told my siblings not to mention our dad. My mom was really mad at me and I just told her it was an accident but I don't know if my siblings will tell and I don't live with them to make sure they don't so I'm worried what happens if my mom or stepfather finds out the truth.

Do you think it's better to tell someone at work now isntead of my mom reporting it?

[Ispbear]

Listen kiddo, I so hope you are full of it.

But if everything you are saying is true GO talk to his partner and tell him everything. Your not being a rat by doing so. Your dad could be suffering from severe depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It would be better your dad get some help or get in trouble than the next time you visit him is at his own funural because he committed suicide.

[Dr4g0n]

It would be better your dad get some help or get in trouble than the next time you visit him is at his own funural because he committed suicide.

your scaring the crap out of me Sir

[acreature]

your scaring the crap out of me Sir

Then do the right thing.

[PapaBear]

The symptoms you are describing are typically called "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" and can manifest themselves if not treated properly.

Your father needs to seek out a mental health professional. Most LE agencies have one or two available just for similar situations. Talk to someone who can discuss the issues with your father and get him the help he needs.

Further withdrawal can, as has been stated above, can lead to tragic circumstances.

[Dr4g0n]

I didn't think it was THAT serious just serious enough to come here and ask. I will talk to his partner on his day off. Thanx.

[Dr4g0n]

I talked to his partner he said my dad was having problems at work but they got him help and he was back to normal and doing his job but he had no idea that stuff at home were bad and thought everything was fine but that with my siblings there it was probaly all too much for him. I'm bummed cause he won't really tell me anything about what happened at work or anything and that he will talk to my mom about what's going on which is NOT what I want because things will just get worse. He told me to trust him and that he will take care of things but I don't know what to think now. What's going on?? He should tell me since it's MY dad and my parents aren't even married anymore so what does my mom have to do with it??

[BJJVad]

I talked to his partner he said my dad was having problems at work but they got him help and he was back to normal and doing his job but he had no idea that stuff at home were bad and thought everything was fine but that with my siblings there it was probaly all too much for him. I'm bummed cause he won't really tell me anything about what happened at work or anything and that he will talk to my mom about what's going on which is NOT what I want because things will just get worse. He told me to trust him and that he will take care of things but I don't know what to think now. What's going on?? He should tell me since it's MY dad and my parents aren't even married anymore so what does my mom have to do with it??

Not sure any of us can give you solid advice, but only small parts of our own experiences or wisdom.

My father was also in LE. I doubt very seriously that the issues I dealt with growing up are anywhere in comparison to what you are going through.

I do know that you cannot fix "his" problems. All you can do is be a good son and be there for him if he needs you.

When I was 16 I pocketed some money to take my dad to a ball game. Seemed to cheer him up quite a bit.

Good luck,

Let us know..

[Ispbear]

I talked to his partner he said my dad was having problems at work but they got him help and he was back to normal and doing his job but he had no idea that stuff at home were bad and thought everything was fine but that with my siblings there it was probaly all too much for him. I'm bummed cause he won't really tell me anything about what happened at work or anything and that he will talk to my mom about what's going on which is NOT what I want because things will just get worse. He told me to trust him and that he will take care of things but I don't know what to think now. What's going on?? He should tell me since it's MY dad and my parents aren't even married anymore so what does my mom have to do with it??

You have to remember your the kid and it's not your job to fix the problem. If your dad wanted you to know what was going on he would have told you. His partner knows that your dad doesn't want you to know, and it's not his place to explain everything to you. You did what was right now let the partner take care of it, there is nothing else for you to do.