Can police help me bring my mother back home?

[Pye]

My mother was taken away by my brother on 28th December. I have been caring for her for years. I am her official carer registered with the government. I do not have Power of Attorney. She manages her own affairs. She's 83, but fairly sprightly, a bit forgetful but can look after herself other than going shopping or to the doctor. My brother has never been interested in her. He reluctantly comes to visit her 3 times a year for 15 minutes and only if he happens to be in the area. He lives 300 kms away. He even told her he hated her once, blaming her evidence in the Family Court for losing custody of his kids. On 27th December we were on a plane when she collapsed unconscious and was rushed to hospital on landing. I called my brother and asked him to come quickly, as it seemed she could die. He did not come. But he came the next day after she was discharged and just took her. He told her the grandkids were visiting and if she wanted to see them she had better come. He told me I could collect her on 2nd January. But his de facto wife sent me an email telling me not to come on 2nd January, which is today. Now they are making excuses all the time why she can't come home. They've started taking her to doctors and getting assessments done such as tests for dementia and so on. When she asks to go home they say "Not until we get your toe nail seen to. Not until you see the doctor about your hearing. Not until we get the Aged Assessment done." They have even taken her for a brain scan. They asked me for $3000 for her board & lodging. I refused to transfer the money to them from her account. They have got very nasty, making horrible accusations against me of stealing and so on. I have a terrible suspicion the idea is to get her into a nursing home. She doesn't need that. They no longer answer the phone to me so I cannot talk to them and ask them to let her come home. They hang up on me. It seems there are multiple persuaders against a single vulnerable victim. She is being coerced and manipulated. I call her on her mobile phone and she says "I want to come home to my house and my cat" and I will hear my brother in the background shouting "Why are you talking to her? You can go home when all your appointments are over." So then she'll get frightened and say "I'll stay here until your brother is ready to bring me home." Today she walked 2 kms in 30 C heat (90F) to call me from the shops where she was sure they couldn't find her talking to me. She said she wanted to go home, but they keep making excuses. I informed her of her legal rights, I told her to call for help or just leave, but she said "I couldn't do that to my son." I said "I will come and get you" but she got very scared and said "Please don't cause trouble."

I believe my mother is being held against her will and that something very nasty is going on. It could be my brother has decided to make a sudden grab for power and influence over our mother, he could be after money from her, or he may just want to take her away from me because he doesn't like me.

I would think the only thing in this story that counts is that she wants to go home.

Is it possible that I could drive up there and go to the police station for help? Would police be willing to come with me to the house and let me talk to my mother and ask if she wants to come home? The trouble with that is, my brother and his de facto are there and she is scared of them. She'll probably say she is happy to stay there out of fear.

Is there anything police can do in this situation?

I realize it is hard to prove someone has been abducted when they say two different things at different times - "I want to go home" when the captors are not around but "I'll stay until my son is ready" when they are listening.

I just don't want to drive all the way up there, which takes more than 3 hours, only to be told that police won't come with me so I can either talk to her, or collect her and take her home.

I would not go there alone, because they may start a fight, then call police and apply for an AVO against me.

[GoDirectly2Jail]

Legal definitions and laws are different depending on location. We do have a few officers on here from Australia that may be able to help.

[Samuel]

Call ahead, bring all your paperwork, drive up there, ask the police to keep the peace while you do a welfare check on your mom.

[txinvestigator1]

I just don't want to drive all the way up there, which takes more than 3 hours, only to be told that police won't come with me so I can either talk to her, or collect her and take her home.

.

wow

[Pye]

Thank you, I hadn't thought of taking the paperwork with me and I hadn't thought of asking them to keep the peace while I do a welfare check. That is a good way of putting it.

I phoned her early today (Sunday morning) as I know they don't get up until 9 a.m. She said she wants to go home and said that yesterday she was taken to the supermarket where she bought $150 of groceries. They made her choose things that she would eat such as tinned soup.

When I have a relative staying I don't make them buy their own food! And I don't feed them tinned soup.

Thanks for all your replies.

Call ahead, bring all your paperwork, drive up there, ask the police to keep the peace while you do a welfare check on your mom.

[Silver Fox]

This sounds like a sad situation, especially where there's financial gain involved. Since you're not your mother's durable power of attorney there's little you can do, being that she's telling your brother one thing and you another. If I were you, I would contact an attorney and get his or her advice.

[Pye]

Thanks again everyone for your responses. I rang Mum again today. I tried to reason with her that she can come home if she wants to but I got nowhere. I said I could come and get her on Friday. I just received this fake email. My mother has no email address and cannot use a computer. Even if she could figure out how, her eyesight isn't good enough. I find this very sinister. She's never told me she's having a 'fun holiday', she's always said she wants to get home. As for her broken toenail and ear infection, those things could have been dealt with by her own doctor, who I am seeing tomorrow at 10.00. 'Can't give a date' for coming home seems to me to mean NEVER coming home.

L*****,
Roger and Jo are bringing me home so dont come up on friday, I wont be here. I am making an appointment to see a Doctor here for my toe and ear tomorrow. I cant give a date as I dont know yet, Im having a fun holiday here with the kids. Please dont ring me and upset everyone, let me have a nice time and some freedom. Please get the back security door fixed and the house cleaned, I am relying on you its very important.
look after the cat and try and find Dusty, Dont spend any money out of the bank (other than cat food etc).
Mum

[Aussie George]

I am assuming your brother lives in NSW also??

If it is in the same state then it would make it easier in the sense that you could go to your local Police station (or even call them on 131444) and arrange a check welfare without travelling up there. The down side to that is that if they go and she tells them she is fine and there is no signs of any wrongdoing, they can't do anything, however it will be documented on the NSWPolice system that they called in there etc.

Alternatively do just what Samuel said...travel up there with all the documents you can muster, and go there with Police to attend for a "stand by breach of peace" (where cops hang around to ensure there is no breach of the peace) and check her welfare personally. Down side of that of course is that if you get there and they are not home for some reason you will have to come back.

Also keep in mind you will have to be flexible....this is a relatively low priority job in comparison to disturbances etc....if you arrange a time to meet police at the address, they might get diverted to a high risk job just prior to meeting you and there could be unexpected and unavoidable delays. Consider this too if you are travelling 3 hours for the purpose of checking on your Mum.

Good luck and I hope your concerns are unwarranted.

[Pye]

Thank you. I am gathering the paperwork and going there today. I will stay overnight if I need to. I don't mind waiting until the police are not busy. I have prepared a typed statement for police and I will also save it on a disk as it could take a long time for them to take a statement from me otherwise. I am going to my mother's doctor in a minute to tell him what has happened.

Yes, he is in the same state. It is about 240 kilometres away.

I intend to arrive in the late afternoon, because my mother does not stay out after 3 p.m.

[Pye]

I went to the town where my mother was being held. I asked police to come with me. They did, and were very helpful.

My mother is back home now. The problem is there is nothing stopping my brother from taking her away again.

Persuading my mother to protect herself is going to be impossible. If he takes her again, I am just going to leave her there, as I can't go through all that again.

She told me that every day he interrogated her about where her money is. She just kept saying "I don't remember."

I have virtual Power of Attorney at the bank, so I had an interview with one of the managers and there is now a note on her file to prevent my brother from accessing the money or finding out where it is.

Probably he wouldn't do that, as he wouldn't want to end up charged with a crime. I think it was all just a grab for power and a way of getting at me because he doesn't like me.

Mum isn't well. She's been taken on long walks in the heat of the day (and took herself on one as well), she's been interrogated and mentally tortured by not being told when she can go home, she's generally been treated like a hostage. She's been told every day that she must have given all her money to me if she doesn't know where it is. She was well fed, but she's been dragged all around town every day and it has worn her out. It's a wonder all this didn't kill her.