Funny traffic stop stories

[txinvestigator1]

List your most comical ones. I get a kick out of reading them, and I bet the non-LEOS here would enjoy them as well....

I'll start with a couple;

I was driving down a two lane road near the bay, and a old pickup was driving the opposite direction towards me. As he neared he leaned out of the window and put his hand over the inspection sticker, making it impossible to read. I was like ...well, he was leaning so far out he crossed the double yellow line.

I stopped him and of course the sticker was expired. I lol'ed as I wrote him TWO tickets.....

Another time I stopped a car for going 40 in the left lane of a freeway (crosstown for those of you who know CC). I was not going to stop him as I had just gone on duty and wanted to get to my beat, but after flashing my headlights, honking and blasting him with the siren to encourage him to move over, he simply motioned for me to go around.

He was an old guy and fit to be tied that I wouldn't just leave him alone. He got a ticket too.

The funny part happened a couple of years later when I met my now wife. She told be about this cop who stopped her grandpa on the crosstown and for driving too slow and gave him a ticket. She described him and the car and it was HIM. She said he got back home and was walking around complaining about it for days, yelling, "sons of bitches!"

[Roger Dat]

This one time...... on a traffic stop.......

[Piggy]

List your most comical ones. I get a kick out of reading them, and I bet the non-LEOS here would enjoy them as well....

I'll start with a couple;

I was driving down a two lane road near the bay, and a old pickup was driving the opposite direction towards me. As he neared he leaned out of the window and put his hand over the inspection sticker, making it impossible to read. I was like ...well, he was leaning so far out he crossed the double yellow line.

I stopped him and of course the sticker was expired. I lol'ed as I wrote him TWO tickets.....

Another time I stopped a car for going 40 in the left lane of a freeway (crosstown for those of you who know CC). I was not going to stop him as I had just gone on duty and wanted to get to my beat, but after flashing my headlights, honking and blasting him with the siren to encourage him to move over, he simply motioned for me to go around.

He was an old guy and fit to be tied that I wouldn't just leave him alone. He got a ticket too.

The funny part happened a couple of years later when I met my now wife. She told be about this cop who stopped her grandpa on the crosstown and for driving too slow and gave him a ticket. She described him and the car and it was HIM. She said he got back home and was walking around complaining about it for days, yelling, "sons of bitches!"

So did Grandpa ever find out you were the SOB?

[BP348]

I wish a few more CCPD and just about every LEO in South Texas would write people for driving in the left lane.

As someone who drives a bunch on the freeways down here I can't tell you how frustrating it is, seems like it happens almost everyday.

The traffic was a lot worse back in Chicago but at least everyone knew the left lane was for passing. I've seen plenty of ISP and locals write people for impeding the flow of traffic because they were driving in the left lane.

I can't tell you how many people have told me, "It's not marked passing only so I can drive in the left lane if I want to"

[Curt581]

I was coming down a freeway exit ramp about 2am one night. Rounding the curve, I found a red Pontiac Fiero stopped in the middle of the traffic way. I flip the lights on, call in the stop, and lit the car up with the spotlight. All I can see through the back window is a big cloud of blonde hair. As I start toward the car, the driver's door opens and a nyloned and high heeled leg slides out. The driver gets out... wearing a conservative business skirt and jacket, with one of those frilly bows on the blouse.

I get greeted with a face like Sgt Carter from the Gomer Pyle TV show, with a voice to match, including a soggy cigar clenched in his teeth. The driver says, "F***ing thing just took a s**t on me. P***es me off, too, cuz I just spent a week rebuilding the g**d*** transaxle in this c***s***er".

I called a tow for him, walked briskly back to my car and locked the doors. The tow driver still rags on me about that one to this day.

***

Not my stop, but I was a back up on a drunk driving arrest. The driver is trashed, but has two passengers, male and female, who are also drunk and belligerent. The bad thing... all three were deaf. We went to great lengths to try to be nice to them, but they weren't having it. Unfortunately, none of us knew ASL, so the arresting officer spoke slowly, hoping they could read his lips. "Weee arrrre go-ing to TOW the carrrr". The girl starts throwing the middle finger, yelling, "Fuhhhhtt nYuuuu! Fuhhhtt nYuuu!"
Things went rapidly downhill from there.

Talk about one of those cases were you just want to throw up your hands and go home... the last thing we wanted to do was have to go hands-on and later get accused of brutalizing these poor deaf people. It sounds insensitive, but it was funny as hell the next day.

***

Stopped a Firebird for speeding. Two females in the car. Both are ripped. Passenger leans over the driver, says, "She's driving cuz I'm drunk". No, Sweety, you both are.

Get the driver out and begin FSTs. The passenger gets out despite being warned and tries to play obnoxious lawyer. After a couple "Get back in the car's", I tell passenger she's under arrest for Obstructing. All of 5'-nothing and 100lbs, she decides to fight. Arm behind the back, WHAP, face down on the hood of the squad. "STOP Resisting!". "F*** YOU!" she screams. Twists around, she comes back up. Spin her around, down on the ground face first, one arm behind her back. I'm thinking I got this. Oh, no I don't.

Stupid me... I'm trying not to really injure her, so I'm holding back some. Twists around, she's up again swinging. Dammit! I put her back down, she's right back up. What is this chick, spring-loaded? I gave her a shot of OC spray right in the nose. Drop the spray can, grab her and down she goes for the third time, my knee and full weight on her shoulder blades. I get the cuffs on and back up arrives. Whew, that's over. Uh uh.

We put her in the back of the car kicking and screaming. My next mistake? I forgot to put the cage fold-down window back up. While we're hooking up the driver, the passenger managed to get her head and upper torso over the divider hinge and bashes the radio and siren controls with her face, breaking the radio and setting off the siren. Now she's bleeding pretty good. Call for an ambulance.

After we get her treated and OC decontaminated, she starts yelling at me that she's "Jerry B*****'s daughter", and I'm going to be fired tomorrow. I knew the name, he was in charge of the Detective Bureau at that time, now long retired. Empty threat, I never heard boo about it. She ended up getting 60 days in jail, I think.

Lessons?

Don't underestimate crazy drunks and don't hold back if you need to use force.

[Sierra]

As a Police Explorer I was out on a ridealong with an advisor on a night shift. We are sitting at a church running radar when a Bug goes north doing 69 in a 45. Off we go. It hits the main intersection (which was the boundary between our city and the next one), goes west and blacks out in a business complex. We show up in time to see 2 shadowy subjects going over the wall and disappearing, so we took the back seat passenger on his warrants and towed the car.

We get a call as we are finishing up. Seems the neighboring jurisdiction had a guy reporting his car stolen at a gas station not that far away so we rolled over. Darned if it wasn't the two shadows who had run from us! Driver tried giving a false name but that didn't work out too well for him; I had run track with him in high school. The other officer wrote the guy for false info and he got somewhere around nine cites from us and spent the night in jail.

I saw in a weekly paper a while later that he had been convicted and was fined $5000 for his escapade. A couple of months later I read in the major paper out here that he had been killed playing chicken with a train. He was faster than me, but obviously not brighter.

[lawduck]

I couldn't make this up:

I have some good ones in about a year and a half of patrolling, but I'll never forget this one.

Stopped a lady for something minor. I get up to the window and low and behold she is in the middle of breast feeding her baby. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I didn't even want to believe it at first.





Then the other night we hook up this nasty broad with breast tattoos for poss. dangerous drug. As she is cuffed and walking to the back seat of my co-worker's patrol car, she steps off in an uneven part of the parking lot.
She falls to her knee and slams her head into the patrol car's bumper as she goes to the pavement.

Before my co-worker even drives off we're at the Sgt's car watching the playback on the video cracking up.

I kinda felt bad though.

[BJJVad]

I got cited by a Deputy when I was 16y/o for speeding. A few years later I was working with a Deputy on overtime at my facility. When I first met him I knew I recognized him from somewhere but couldn't put my finger on it.

We got to talking and I am not quite sure how we ended up on the subject, but he began telling me how these "snot nosed punks", where driving nicer vehicles now than the beaters of his day. He recalled to me that he stopped some kid in a nice truck only a few weeks after his 16th birthday. That was about when I started to realize he was describing my POV.

I started laughing and excused myself. I went out to my truck, grabbed my copy of the citation out of the glove compartment and gave him back a nice souvenir.