Need advice, kind of weird situation.

[NYJ2918]

I live in New York, and I’m 23. I have a friend I haven’t heard from for the past 3 months. She’s 19. Last I heard from her, she said she was going to Philly for a month or so and that she lost her phone on the bus. I haven’t heard from her since.

Two months ago around the end of July, I went by her place to leave a note to her doorman. Basically I wrote that I haven’t heard from her for a month and hope that she’s okay and that I miss her which I probably should have excluded.

Two days later, her mother calls and threatens me then hangs up. So I assume her mother reads her letters.. I was told by my friend (that I think is missing) that her mother is crazy and the type that does drugs and is too lazy to help her sign up for health insurance. So she’s not really a typical caring parent. But anyway, for some reason the mother thinks I’m a stalker. A month before I dropped off this letter, a day before I didn’t hear from her again to be exact, I didn’t hear from her for a week so I was worried about her and left a message to a doorman. So she came online and basically told me she was sorry I couldn’t reach her because she was in Philly and she lost her phone on the bus and that she has to go back to Philly now. I didn’t ask why but was hoping I’d hear from her after a month which I haven’t.

So last month, after not hearing from her for two months, I dropped off another letter, this time to her mother, basically saying that I hope she understands that I am just worried about her daughter I want to make sure that she’s okay. So she text me saying “She’s fine, if you come here again I will call the police. Leave my daughter alone!!”

I’m still not really convinced. I don’t think she’s avoiding me and plus if she were, she wouldn’t tell her mother to threaten me. Although I’ve considered the possibility that she’s avoiding me, I have no way of confirming it. I emailed her several times hoping that she’d respond to at least confirm that she’s alive but that didn’t get anywhere. I called her phone 2 months ago and it seems like someone else owns that number now (this isn’t the first time that happened, first time she lost her phone someone else owned that number, then she tells me she has a new number just this time she isn’t calling back). I take a look at the two websites she updates frequently and she hasn’t updated both of them for 3 months which gives me another reason why I think there’s something wrong.

I was told by someone that I could go to the police and request to check on her welfare. So I emailed my friend saying that I’m planning on going to the police and check on her welfare. Two minutes later, the mother calls and leaves a threatening message on my voice mail box. Then she text me saying “I warned you to leave my daughter alone, I am going to report you to the police you crazy stalker!!!” So that’s just even weirder, her mother reads her e-mails?

So out of options, my mother happens to know a police officer so I called her for advice and she said I should do nothing because the mother said she was going to report me to the police. But I haven’t even really done anything for her to report me I think. All I typed here is just about everything I did. Reluctantly, I did ask one of her friends that I know of and she said that she’s mad at her and haven’t heard from her for 3 months either. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have that many friends so I’m stuck there.

So I’m pretty much out of options. I’ve known her for two years and just want to make sure my friend is okay. Sorry for the long story but I’m trying to be as detailed as possible. I go to school and this has been distracting me for the past 3 months. It just doesn't feel right to ignore a bad feeling that something might have happened to a friend. Hope you guys can give me some advice on this.

[Bob Loblaw]

About all that can be done is a welfare check. It is quite bizzarre that your friend won't answer the phone and hasn't updated her sites in 3 months AND you've got another mutual friend who hasn't heard from her in 3 months. I'd strongly caution you against attempting to make contact again, as it seems like Mom is pretty agitated by your attempts to contact your friend. Sounds like it could be the friend blowing you off, but it also sounds like it could be something a bit more sinister. Call the police of the city in which your friend and her mom live and explain the situation, and they'll explain your options. Good luck.....

[Roger Dat]

Call the police and they will do a welfare check. If shes fine and they find her in good condition then its time for you to leave her alone.

[GoDirectly2Jail]

I live in New York, and I’m 23. I have a friend I haven’t heard from for the past 3 months. She’s 19. Last I heard from her, she said she was going to Philly for a month or so and that she lost her phone on the bus. I haven’t heard from her since.

Two months ago around the end of July, I went by her place to leave a note to her doorman. Basically I wrote that I haven’t heard from her for a month and hope that she’s okay and that I miss her which I probably should have excluded.

Two days later, her mother calls and threatens me then hangs up. So I assume her mother reads her letters.. I was told by my friend (that I think is missing) that her mother is crazy and the type that does drugs and is too lazy to help her sign up for health insurance. So she’s not really a typical caring parent. But anyway, for some reason the mother thinks I’m a stalker. A month before I dropped off this letter, a day before I didn’t hear from her again to be exact, I didn’t hear from her for a week so I was worried about her and left a message to a doorman. So she came online and basically told me she was sorry I couldn’t reach her because she was in Philly and she lost her phone on the bus and that she has to go back to Philly now. I didn’t ask why but was hoping I’d hear from her after a month which I haven’t.

So last month, after not hearing from her for two months, I dropped off another letter, this time to her mother, basically saying that I hope she understands that I am just worried about her daughter I want to make sure that she’s okay. So she text me saying “She’s fine, if you come here again I will call the police. Leave my daughter alone!!”

I’m still not really convinced. I don’t think she’s avoiding me and plus if she were, she wouldn’t tell her mother to threaten me. Although I’ve considered the possibility that she’s avoiding me, I have no way of confirming it. I emailed her several times hoping that she’d respond to at least confirm that she’s alive but that didn’t get anywhere. I called her phone 2 months ago and it seems like someone else owns that number now (this isn’t the first time that happened, first time she lost her phone someone else owned that number, then she tells me she has a new number just this time she isn’t calling back). I take a look at the two websites she updates frequently and she hasn’t updated both of them for 3 months which gives me another reason why I think there’s something wrong.

I was told by someone that I could go to the police and request to check on her welfare. So I emailed my friend saying that I’m planning on going to the police and check on her welfare. Two minutes later, the mother calls and leaves a threatening message on my voice mail box. Then she text me saying “I warned you to leave my daughter alone, I am going to report you to the police you crazy stalker!!!” So that’s just even weirder, her mother reads her e-mails?

So out of options, my mother happens to know a police officer so I called her for advice and she said I should do nothing because the mother said she was going to report me to the police. But I haven’t even really done anything for her to report me I think. All I typed here is just about everything I did. Reluctantly, I did ask one of her friends that I know of and she said that she’s mad at her and haven’t heard from her for 3 months either. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have that many friends so I’m stuck there.

So I’m pretty much out of options. I’ve known her for two years and just want to make sure my friend is okay. Sorry for the long story but I’m trying to be as detailed as possible. I go to school and this has been distracting me for the past 3 months. It just doesn't feel right to ignore a bad feeling that something might have happened to a friend. Hope you guys can give me some advice on this.

You say you are worried about your friend, and you'd like to make sure she's alright - but we have no idea if she wants contact from you. We are getting just your side of things, here with this post. For all we know, you could be an abusive ex and she's trying to make a clean break.

Do you think some sort of foul play has befallen her? Ask the police for a welfare check, but I can put your fears to rest right now - if that were the case, the mom wouldn't be continuing to warn you off. She'd just tell you what happened.

To be perfectly blunt, your friend is an adult, and there's nothing you can do to make her contact or respond to you if she doesn't want to. And if she's not fine, (I hate to say it, but) there's nothing you can do in that situation either.

[NYJ2918]

You say you are worried about your friend, and you'd like to make sure she's alright - but we have no idea if she wants contact from you. We are getting just your side of things, here with this post. For all we know, you could be an abusive ex and she's trying to make a clean break.

Do you think some sort of foul play has befallen her? Ask the police for a welfare check, but I can put your fears to rest right now - if that were the case, the mom wouldn't be continuing to warn you off. She'd just tell you what happened.

To be perfectly blunt, your friend is an adult, and there's nothing you can do to make her contact or respond to you if she doesn't want to. And if she's not fine, (I hate to say it, but) there's nothing you can do in that situation either.

if she wants to blow me off for whatever reason then that's fine, as dumb as it may sound, i just want to make sure she is blowing me off and hope nothing has happened to her. Right now, I'm stuck between the possibility of one of them and i hope it's not the latter. I just have no way of confirming it.

[txinvestigator1]

She is just not that into you. Even I could catch THAT hint.

[PapaBear]

Okay, here is some cheap advise: Leave her alone!

It makes no difference if she is in Philadelphia or Los Angeles and lost her cell phone, if she wanted to be in contact with you she would make an effort. She probably shares more information with her mother than you believe is possible and that is why her mother is telling you the same thing.

You are young and infatuated for naught. She is trying to avoid you and get you out of her life, she just does not have the type of personality that will allow her to hurt you by telling you herself - she hopes you will get the hint.

Get on with your life without her. If she was meant to be with you she will return; if not, there are plenty of others out there for you.

[deputywave]

She is just not that into you.

OP hasn't read that book yet.:hmm:

[manahmanah]

She found new nookie.

[phantasm]

I live in New York, and I’m 23. I have a friend I haven’t heard from for the past 3 months. She’s 19. Last I heard from her, she said she was going to Philly for a month or so and that she lost her phone on the bus. I haven’t heard from her since.

Two months ago around the end of July, I went by her place to leave a note to her doorman. Basically I wrote that I haven’t heard from her for a month and hope that she’s okay and that I miss her which I probably should have excluded.

Two days later, her mother calls and threatens me then hangs up. So I assume her mother reads her letters.. I was told by my friend (that I think is missing) that her mother is crazy and the type that does drugs and is too lazy to help her sign up for health insurance. So she’s not really a typical caring parent. But anyway, for some reason the mother thinks I’m a stalker. A month before I dropped off this letter, a day before I didn’t hear from her again to be exact, I didn’t hear from her for a week so I was worried about her and left a message to a doorman. So she came online and basically told me she was sorry I couldn’t reach her because she was in Philly and she lost her phone on the bus and that she has to go back to Philly now. I didn’t ask why but was hoping I’d hear from her after a month which I haven’t.

So last month, after not hearing from her for two months, I dropped off another letter, this time to her mother, basically saying that I hope she understands that I am just worried about her daughter I want to make sure that she’s okay. So she text me saying “She’s fine, if you come here again I will call the police. Leave my daughter alone!!”

I’m still not really convinced. I don’t think she’s avoiding me and plus if she were, she wouldn’t tell her mother to threaten me. Although I’ve considered the possibility that she’s avoiding me, I have no way of confirming it. I emailed her several times hoping that she’d respond to at least confirm that she’s alive but that didn’t get anywhere. I called her phone 2 months ago and it seems like someone else owns that number now (this isn’t the first time that happened, first time she lost her phone someone else owned that number, then she tells me she has a new number just this time she isn’t calling back). I take a look at the two websites she updates frequently and she hasn’t updated both of them for 3 months which gives me another reason why I think there’s something wrong.

I was told by someone that I could go to the police and request to check on her welfare. So I emailed my friend saying that I’m planning on going to the police and check on her welfare. Two minutes later, the mother calls and leaves a threatening message on my voice mail box. Then she text me saying “I warned you to leave my daughter alone, I am going to report you to the police you crazy stalker!!!” So that’s just even weirder, her mother reads her e-mails?

So out of options, my mother happens to know a police officer so I called her for advice and she said I should do nothing because the mother said she was going to report me to the police. But I haven’t even really done anything for her to report me I think. All I typed here is just about everything I did. Reluctantly, I did ask one of her friends that I know of and she said that she’s mad at her and haven’t heard from her for 3 months either. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have that many friends so I’m stuck there.

So I’m pretty much out of options. I’ve known her for two years and just want to make sure my friend is okay. Sorry for the long story but I’m trying to be as detailed as possible. I go to school and this has been distracting me for the past 3 months. It just doesn't feel right to ignore a bad feeling that something might have happened to a friend. Hope you guys can give me some advice on this.

So you haven't had contact with this girl for a while, leave a letter, and she just all of a sudden signs online, and tells you she's ok, and she's going away again, and doesn't contact you again?

Stop contacting her, and don't waste the police time with a welfare check for someone who just doesn't want anything to do with you.

[NYJ2918]

It's just that she told me her mother doesn't even care about her and all the sudden she would tell her mother to make threat calls? I just highly doubt that. If she were to avoid me for any reason she would tell me herself not go to her mother, esp the type of parent she is. i think she was crazy to the point that she had to stay at her uncles for several weeks to stay away from her. I just really doubt she would tell her mother to tell me to leave her alone for no reason. It feels like the mother is doing it all on her own. I cant see it as a typical caring parent with the fact that she is crazy and possibly unstable, and with her being crazy there's so many other possibilities. That's just my thought on it.

I really do want to ask for a welfare request check on her but judging from some of the responses, i don't think they'll bother.

[phantasm]

It's just that she told me her mother doesn't even care about her and all the sudden she would tell her mother to make threat calls? I just highly doubt that. If she were to avoid me for any reason she would tell me herself not go to her mother, esp the type of parent she is. i think she was crazy to the point that she had to stay at her uncles for several weeks to stay away from her. I just really doubt she would tell her mother to tell me to leave her alone for no reason. It feels like the mother is doing it all on her own. I cant see it as a typical caring parent with the fact that she is crazy and possibly unstable, and with her being crazy there's so many other possibilities. That's just my thought on it.

I really do want to ask for a welfare request check on her but judging from some of the responses, i don't think they'll bother.

You said she's 19 (an adult). If the living conditions aren't good, then she can leave. She's not a minor.

She also has no obligation to tell you that she doesn't want to talk to you. Obviously you're not getting the hint. Months go by, and she hasn't replaced the phone, or tried contacting you?

[PapaBear]

It's just that she told me her mother doesn't even care about her and all the sudden she would tell her mother to make threat calls? I just highly doubt that. If she were to avoid me for any reason she would tell me herself not go to her mother, esp the type of parent she is. i think she was crazy to the point that she had to stay at her uncles for several weeks to stay away from her. I just really doubt she would tell her mother to tell me to leave her alone for no reason. It feels like the mother is doing it all on her own. I cant see it as a typical caring parent with the fact that she is crazy and possibly unstable, and with her being crazy there's so many other possibilities. That's just my thought on it.

I really do want to ask for a welfare request check on her but judging from some of the responses, i don't think they'll bother.

Those are your thoughts; but, you did not come in here to express your thoughts, you came in here to get our thoughts. If you cannot handle them, that is your problem. Deal with it, live with it and don't discount what you have sought. How truly ungrateful!

Get out of our forum with your trivial, nonsensical drivel. My goodness, have you no where else to go?

[Safety Steve]

I think I saw this episode on the "Lifetime" channel the other day. I think it was titled, "Stalker Won't Take NO for an Answer."

She won't return your calls or letter. In LE we call that a clue !!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE IT BE.

Your story stinks!!!!!!! You don't get the Be Safe signature!

[Roger Dat]

I think I saw this episode on the "Lifetime" channel the other day. I think it was titled, "Stalker Won't Take NO for an Answer."

She won't return your calls or letter. In LE we call that a clue !!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEAVE IT BE.

Your story stinks!!!!!!! You don't get the Be Safe signature!

Steve we need to get you more channels man!