Police car parking in my parking spot

[retdetsgt]

Yeah, it all worked out well, I guess. But I still feel terrible. Three years is a long time to be with someone... :(

Sometimes mourning the loss of the relationship itself is harder than actually missing the person. We tend to put expectations on the longevity of a relationship.

[Cass]

As I have so often heard " It is time for you to start taking of yourself"

That’s exactly what I’m scared of…

I know I can take care of myself financially (I can’t afford everything I WANT, but I have always been able to work for what I NEEDED), but emotionally I don’t think I can be on my own…

It’s like if I don’t have someone else who cares about me then I don’t care much about myself either. I was being pretty self-destructive until I met my boyfriend, and in a way, he saved my life. It’s difficult to then turn around and say “thanks, I don’t need you anymore.”

I feel like I’m too young to grow up. I don’t want the responsibility. If that makes any sense… :confused:

[Cass]

Sometimes mourning the loss of the relationship itself is harder than actually missing the person. We tend to put expectations on the longevity of a relationship.

You are absolutely right, Sir.

My boyfriend has plenty of faults and he really doesn’t treat me terribly well. I know he is just taking advantage of me (living with me for free, getting all the sex that he wants), but he has stuck around and that’s worth more than anything else.

It’s just nice to have someone who is happy to see you when you come home from work (even if it’s just because he’s hungry and/or horney) or who worries about you when you’re sick (for the same reasons, I guess). I dunno, I just don’t want to be alone because that’s how I grew up and it was killing me. It’s just all hitting me now that he’s gone. By the time he’ll get out of jail the eviction will probably be final and that’ll be the end of it

I’m sure there are other/nicer guys out there, but I don’t want to take another leap of faith. I really can’t imagine getting into another relationship and not knowing how long it will last. Truthfully, the only kind of relationship I really want/need isn’t even romantic/sexual in nature. Can’t relive my childhood though, so there will always be that void… life sucks…but oh well. Gosh, I sound pathetic. :rolleyes:

[eaglei]

If you want someone who is happy to see you when you get home, get a dog! Much less complicated than a boyfriend.

[Cass]

If you want someone who is happy to see you when you get home, get a dog! Much less complicated than a boyfriend.

LOL. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

But housebreaking this one was difficult enough. :eek: ;)

[Piggy]

You are absolutely right, Sir.

I know he is just taking advantage of me (living with me for free, getting all the sex that he wants), but he has stuck around and that’s worth more than anything else.

Can you give my wife a call when you get a chance? :eek:

Although it seems like it now, you're really not alone. Think of it this way, would you rather spend the rest of your life miserable with the wrong person. Or would you rather wait a few months or so and find someone who makes you happy?

He is definitely not the right person for you. When you consider the population of the United States, what are the chances you would meet the right person when you were that young.

Besides, if you're giving away free sex, I doubt companionship will be a problem.

[retdetsgt]

It's easy to get caught in that mentality that if you're nice enough, that person will change.... Never happens though.

I kept making excuses for my first wife and thinking that things would get better when such and such happened. It didn't and only got worse. One day I just made a decision that I didn't want to live the rest of my life like that. I got a divorce and not much later got custody of my daughters.

Looking back at it, I wondered what the hell I was thinking when I married her.:rolleyes:

[Cass]

He is definitely not the right person for you. When you consider the population of the United States, what are the chances you would meet the right person when you were that young.

Hmmm...what are the chances of me finding the right person EVER? :confused: :(

Besides, if you're giving away free sex, I doubt companionship will be a problem.

LOL. You're terrible. :p Don't tell me your wife is charging you by the hour!? :eek:

Companionship and sex have nothing to do with one another. And companionship isn't necessarily the same as a real relationship. I started having sex way too young thinking it was the only way I could feel close to someone. But unless it's with the right person it really means nothing. I thought my boyfriend was the right person, but turns out he's not... I'm done looking. Sex is fun, but it'll never provide the comfort that I'm seeking.

Now someone please remind me WHY I am discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers online? :rolleyes: It's really not about that.

[Cass]

I kept making excuses for my first wife and thinking that things would get better when such and such happened.

Yeah. That's what I was hoping every time he got out of jail. :rolleyes: I'd be so happy that he was back home that I was willing to put up with pretty much anything. And he never really was downright abusive, or maybe I would have pulled the plug earlier.

[Sgt. Slaughter]

Hmmm...what are the chances of me finding the right person EVER? :confused: :(

You're way too young to be that dramatic about it...

[Cass]

You're way too young to be that dramatic about it...

LOL. Those "smilies" made me appear more dramatic/frantic than I really am. ;)

[eaglei]

[QUOTE=Cass;1042677]Hmmm...what are the chances of me finding the right person EVER?

OK Cass...I just turned 50 & decided when I was about your age that I was going to hold out for Prince Charming. After kissing many frogs, he came along when I was in my mid-30's! And I had known him for a few years before I realized what a great guy he is. (& I got my first dog when I was 24.)
You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. You also need to heal from your screwed up childhood. (Most women in law enforcement were abused/assaulted at some point - ususally childhood --, either sexually, physically or emotionally. Law enforcement gives them a form of power.)
Go to college, be open to friends, excercise and never, ever live with a man without benefit of marriage! Breaking up is hard enough without having to deal with an eviction.
There are good guys out there. Look at the response you got to a parking problem. They helped you realise that the true problem was parked on your couch!
You might also want to check out some of Dr. Laura's books. ("10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Life" & "Bad Childhood, Good Life"
Good luck!

[Cass]

You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. You also need to heal from your screwed up childhood.

True. But unfortunately at this point my self-love (and not in a dirty way, all you perverts...:rolleyes seems to be dependent on someone else loving me. It's difficult to find yourself "lovable" if growing up everybody else treated you like ****. It makes you wonder if maybe they were right after all... But then, I have friends whom I'm close to and who I know care about me, but I can't stop second-guessing myself. :confused:

There are good guys out there. Look at the response you got to a parking problem. They helped you realise that the true problem was parked on your couch!

Yup. There are some good people hanging out around here. :p

You might also want to check out some of Dr. Laura's books. ("10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Life"

TEN??? :eek: I only have ONE boyfriend. What are the other nine? :confused: Now I really gotta go read that book...

Seriously, thanks for the suggestions and encouragement! I appreciate it.

[retdetsgt]

True. But unfortunately at this point my self-love (and not in a dirty way, all you perverts...:rolleyes seems to be dependent on someone else loving me. It's difficult to find yourself "lovable" if growing up everybody else treated you like ****. It makes you wonder if maybe they were right after all... But then, I have friends whom I'm close to and who I know care about me, but I can't stop second-guessing myself. :confused:

Boy, that sounds familiar! My mama, bless her heart, was a prescription drug addict.... That can screw up a boy's idea of a good relationship with wimmen! Need I say more......

[greg72982]

Most women in law enforcement were abused/assaulted at some point - ususally childhood --, either sexually, physically or emotionally. Law enforcement gives them a form of power.

Boy you really got it all figured out...