Complicated situation. My girlfriends daughter will be 16 in January. Her father died 10 years ago and since that time (she was 5) she has been a handful. When I met my girlfriend 4 years ago me and the daughter hit it off right away. I have been told she has never opened up to a man before then and we are both amazingly close. I have two children of my own, one girl, one boy. The four of us get along great. Her mother however has something seriously going on in her head the last 1 1/2 years. She has been emotionally abusive to my two kids to the point where I haven't had them over at her house if I'm not there. To her own daughter it makes me sick and feel helpless. She continuously rubs her fathers death in her face as if it happened yesterday. She turns a blind eye to actions that most parents would consider something a 15 year old should NOT be doing. I step in without my girlfriends knowledge and take it up with the 15 y/o daughter. We work it out every time and it seems to make our bond even stronger. She has even called me dad a few times. I took it as a slip of the tounge since I know she is sensitive in this area but we both are able to talk openly about it. She's even had me take her to the cemetary on occasion because she does not want to go with her mother. I repectfully escort her to the place and stay if she wants or I walk away if she wants. Very awkward for me but I can take it - after all, it's her we are talking about.
We all live in NY State, Niagara County. Now my question. The daughter is under the impression that when she turns 16 in January she is leaving home. She wants dearly to live with me and my children. Frankly I would love to have her and give this girl a stable, loving home. She has told me if she can't live with us then she will run away. Legally since I am not even blood relative what can I do? The entire biological family (her side) supports this 100%. If she did run away I am confident I would find her but if I keep her at my house am I breaking the law? I don't want to get all ugly and have her mother in court. Between me and her biological family we could all prove her unfit but in my opinion this disrupts the 15 y/o's life even more.
Her mother told me two days ago in an argument after I stated she was the only one out of all of us that can't get along. Her reply was "problem solved...take ALL the kids and all of you can go live happily ever after and stay out of my life"!
I have for the most part stayed in a relationship with her for the last year due to the kids but I'm out....simply cannot do this anymore! Her daughter, me, and my kids all still get together and do stuff.
I just don't know what to do at this point. My lawyer tells me court, law gaurdians, bla bla bla.....then again, he is a lawyer of course he wants to go to court!