Neighbor problems (a bit long). Please advice!!

[skalyan]

So, we (wife and I) bought this house in March and moved in. It is a new community and there was no fence between the houses. Since we have a dog (super friendly), we went to both our neighbors house, introduced ourselves and said that we will get the fence built and asked them if they were willing to share the cost w/ us. Both of them agreed. So, we went ahead with it, got the final bill from the fence company, took it to one neighbor and they gave us their share. Very nice neighbors and we love them.

The other neighbor, single lady w/ a 6-7 yr old kid, refused to pay their share when my wife took the receipt to them. Instead she called us selfish, greedy, etc. Reason: The pickets were not facing her yard. All the time when the fence company put the posts, not once she came over and said that she wanted the pickets to be on her side. Had she told us, we would have gladly put them on their side since we don't really care which side it is. A fence is a fence. We did not tell the fence company to put the pickets on our side either.. but they did it anyway. So, we said it is fine if she does not want to pay us and left it at that. Never spoke to her, waved at her, nothing.

Labor day weekend: My brother-in-law was visiting us and my wife and him went to best buy and came back home around 9:30pm. This lady was drunk and was standing in her yard cussing them and started approaching wife's car. She honked to get my attention and I went out. Calmly told the lady to stop cussing us or we will call the cops. She got mad and started hitting me and my bro-in-law. Wife calls the cops and while she was on the phone w/ the operator, the neighbor was in our driveway, hitting me, cussing me, yelling at me. I stayed calm and told her the cops are on their way. Her friend who lives down the street pulls in their driveway w/ the neighbor's son. Neighbor walks back home, and calls the cops. By then the cops show up. They arrest her 'coz she was belligerent towards the cops and she touched the cops privates and offering them "something" in exchange for not taking her to jail (I got a copy of the police report and it says in it). We tell the cops we didn't want to get her arrested 'coz of us and the cops assure us that it was not 'coz us she is being arrested. So, while the cops are in her house, she tells the cops that after they leave, she will come over to our house and "break our skull w/ a lead pipe". and she throws a lot of racial slurs (We are from India originally, but citizens now). Wife and I are really scared. we go home after work and stay indoors. Friends advise us to get a restraining order against her. So, I start the paperwork. She gets served. We go to court next week and she brings an attorney. We don't have an attorney. The neighbor tells her attorney that we beat her up in her driveway, tried to rape her, etc (all lies). Also, she also told them that she actually came over to us and requested that the pickets were to be put on her side and we did not (another lie). I swear that she never mentioned that us. Judge says that we have to prove that she really hit us and that the neighbor is a real threat to us in order to get a restraining order permanent. :( How can I prove she hit us? When she was hitting me, I was only thinking of protecting my head and face. :( did not think about taking pics or video. :( Judge says, ,maybe we should come to an agreement and dismiss this case. The neighbor brings 2 of her friends as false witnesses. :( Wife and I talk to her attorney and come to an agreement that neither of us will not trespass, harass, communicate w/ each other, my dog not going on her yard, her kid not coming on our property, etc. The only method of communication is by writing a letter to each other in case. After that, i tell the judge that we just want peaceful life. She not bother us and we wont either. No big deal, right?

We talked to some of the neighbors and this is what we learned. She told others that she paid for the fence and that we did not pay our share to her. BIG LIE. We got proof that we contacted HOA for approval, receipts paid to the fence company, etc. The big thing that worries me most is she hates us because of our color. Even before we moved in, she was complaining to other neighbors how some "indians" were buying the house and she doesnt like "indians" in her backyard 'coz there will be 14 indians living in one house, etc. I have lived in this country for 15 yrs, not once have faced racism, until now. :(

So, now, my worries. I am worried that she can make up some false stories and get false witnesses and charge me of something that I did not do. So, we stay indoors all the time, except work in our backyard (landscaping, mowing, etc). Looks like her friend who showed up at the court hates us too for what we are. We have lived in the house for less than 6 months and we are already thinking about selling and moving. But we do not want to. We love our house and we bought it w/ our hard earned money. :(

What are our options here? any advise will be greatly appreciated.

[Samuel]

First "COZ" is not a word and when I see it, I don't take what it's used in very seriously - especially when it's used that much.

Second, sounds like you already have your mind made up as to what you want to do. Unfortunately, anyone can make up anything and go to court. They still have to prove their case.

[skalyan]

I used "'coz" 4 times. Sorry if that's too many. That should not make my sentence any less serious to what I am saying. :(

Looks like being a minority, colored person, my only choice is to move? We do not want to move like I said and no, we have not made up our minds to move. We were just thinking that it could be one of the options if the law will not protect us.

"They will still have to prove their case" - Yes, I am afraid the neighbor will use false witnesses. How can we prove to the judge or jury that we were in fact at home watching tv or elsewhere during that alleged time? There is no way we can. Not once have I thought of this... but, it sucks to be a colored person.

[Samuel]

I used "'coz" 4 times. Sorry if that's too many. That should not make my sentence any less serious to what I am saying. :(

IMO, ONE "coz" is too many. IMO, if you are going to use words such as belligerent, you should also use "because".

Looks like being a minority, colored person, my only choice is to move? We do not want to move like I said and no, we have not made up our minds to move. We were just thinking that it could be one of the options if the law will not protect us.

I didn't say your only choice was to move. I said that it sounds like you have your minds made up already. Please explain "the law will not protect us"... You might want to do some reading up on "the law" (criminal as well as civil).

"They will still have to prove their case" - Yes, I am afraid the neighbor will use false witnesses. How can we prove to the judge or jury that we were in fact at home watching tv or elsewhere during that alleged time? There is no way we can. Not once have I thought of this... but, it sucks to be a colored person.

If they have no physical evidence of you doing/not doing something, then you shouldn't have much to worry about...

[skalyan]

Thanks for your replies, Samuel.

About the feeling that the law will not protect us, when we were in the court, I felt that the judge did not even look at the case, instead said that we have to prove everything. I am not a lawyer but a software engineer. So, my perceptions are a bit different about the legal stuff. I felt like I had a police report that clearly shows what she said to the cops and yet, I will have to prove the same thing.

So, I guess I will have to wait till I hear something either from her or her lawyer and then decide what to do. I just hope this neighbor stops harassing us and lives her life and we do the same as well. If something new comes up, I will post on this forum again.

Thanks once again!

[ChesCopPodz]

If you try to bring a restraining order against someone, it IS your burden to prove why you need it. The judge was not wrong.

Honestly, you should have pressed charges against her for the assault. Whenever someone decides not to press charges for something, it shows it's not a big deal to them. In the judges eyes, you not pressing charges for the assault, but then trying to get a restraining order BECAUSE of the assault contradicts itself. Basically if it wasn't serious enough to press charges, it's not serious enough to grant a restraining order.

As to what to do about her. Document, document, document. Keep cameras handy. It might be worth buying a surveillance camera system and put it at the corner of your house next to her house so if any more confrontations happen it will be recorded. Buy a digital recorder that you can keep in your pocket and if you happen to have another confrontation, take it out and record the confrontation

[DeltaV]

The other neighbor, single lady w/ a 6-7 yr old kid, refused to pay their share when my wife took the receipt to them. Instead she called us selfish, greedy, etc. Reason: The pickets were not facing her yard.

Civil issue. Unless you got something in writing with her agreeing to pay part of the cost, you have no case. Even if there was such an agreement, if the fence is actually in your yard then she could still argue she doesn't have to pay.

We tell the cops we didn't want to get her arrested 'coz of us and the cops assure us that it was not 'coz us she is being arrested.

If you don't want her arrested, don't call the police next time. Arresting people is what we do when we establish that someone has broken the law. That's how we solve problems.

Judge says that we have to prove that she really hit us and that the neighbor is a real threat to us in order to get a restraining order permanent.

You do. That's because if you didn't have to prove it, anyone could make up stories about another person. What she did in order to get arrested has to do with the police, not with you. Just because she was arrested for something like obstructing justice or disorderly conduct doesn't mean that she did anything to you. Those are two totally different incidents and one doesn't prove the other one.

How can I prove she hit us? When she was hitting me, I was only thinking of protecting my head and face. :( did not think about taking pics or video.

You should have taken pictures or a video after the attack to show any injuries that you had. That's proof. As others have suggested, installing a recording camera will also offer proof should anything happen in the future.

After that, i tell the judge that we just want peaceful life. She not bother us and we wont either. No big deal, right?

I may have missed it, but since the hearing has she bothered you directly in any way? If she has you didn't mention it. Talking badly about you doesn't count.

We talked to some of the neighbors and this is what we learned. She told others that she paid for the fence and that we did not pay our share to her. BIG LIE. We got proof that we contacted HOA for approval, receipts paid to the fence company, etc. The big thing that worries me most is she hates us because of our color. Even before we moved in, she was complaining to other neighbors how some "indians" were buying the house and she doesnt like "indians" in her backyard 'coz there will be 14 indians living in one house, etc.

She has a Constitutional right to hate you because of your color. She has a Constitutional right to tell others that she hates you because of your color and fabricate stories about who paid for the fence. Those are freedom of speech issues and nobody can do anything about them unless she decides to commit a crime against you because of your color.

I doubt she will ever like you or be a good neighbor. That said, if she listens to the judge and refrains from contacting you and going on your property then you have no legal recourse against her.

[skalyan]

ChesCopPodz, DeltaV,

Thanks for your replies. Yes, I bought a surveillance camera system with DVR and will be installing it soon.

No, she has not bothered us since the hearing (9/9/08 was the hearing). I just hope she respects the agreement we drew up. Of course, we will too.

Yes, she can hate us and talk bad things about us because of who we are. As long as she does not harass us or hit us, I am cool with that. I bet there are a lot of people who hate us for our color, but they have never done what this lady has done to us.

We are trying to put this behind us. One bad apple doesn't mean the whole basket is full of bad apples. The next time I will be prepared with cameras.

Funny thing, the cop who came over to take our statements said that his neighbor hates them because he is a cop. WHAT? I would love to have one of you guys as my neighbor. It will keep my street secure.

Once again, thanks much for the advice.