Why can the job change the relationship?

[daisydog]

I have a question, not so much about police work, but about having a relationship with an officer. I've been with my fiance for close to 2 years now. Everything between us was always great. I know times were stressful and we would argue but we never went to bed angry. Well my fiance was a reserve for about a year, then a position opened up in his hometown- 2 hours away. I was nervous about moving if he got the position but I thought it over and I wanted him to have his dream. He told me it was up to me and that he wouldn't let it change our relationship. He got the postion and we packed up. I noticed that everything was about the job. He would work 12 hours and still stay out an extra 2 or 3. After a month of living there he tried to break up with me the first time but he was crying when he did it- then after that night he said he made a mistake. Things were good again but he seemed to become distant again after a few weeks. He now kicked me out of our house and made me come back to my home town. I lost my job, my lover and bestfriend, and my home. I don't understand what happened. He knows I'm now pregnant and still won't even give me the time of day. Someone who was loving and caring turned into someone cold and callus. He even changed his number. He said that he was "advised not to talk to me to stay out of an arguement" by his PD. Which I thought was kind of crazy. It's only a one cop per shift kind of town. My father is a retired deputy and he said that a lot of cops go through this. I was supportive and I knew I needed to give him some time but I'm afraid leaving him alone made it worse. He said he didn't love me anymore and he's felt that way for a couple months. Everyone's telling me it's the job, and even he knows that if I would have said "no" to the job that we would be together. I just wanted to tell the story before I got some input on it. How can someone change so fast? I guess what I'm asking is, Have you ever heard of this or experienced it? I'm just wondering if it's temporary or is this a change that could last forever? I'm just so confused and heartbroken....

[txinvestigator1]

Paragraphs please. I am not reading that.

[phantasm]

Being the significant other of a police officer is not for everyone.

[Piggy]

There's two sides to every story so you won't get a fair answer here. Probably best that way too, this is more on the side of relationships and not on the side of Law Enforcement.

[mcsap]

Shacking up really helped things along.

And now there are three of you with a baby who will not have a mom and dad at home. That is the WORST part.

[retdetsgt]

We're probably not the best to ask advice for the lovelorn.... Sorry, if you can't talk to him, we can't do much for you. Becoming a cop may or may not have anything to do with it. It might just be the timing.

[TX-LEO]

Paragraphs please. I am not reading that.

Yeah format it into something readable for us, and ask the question.