How can I give more support?

[Encourager]

:confused:


How can I give more support to my husband? He is 30. In Police Academy. (We are paying out of pocket for this. Been kinda expensive so far. He is almost done. Didn't make his Physical Test. Has another shot. He passed all except running. He needs to shave off 2.5 minutes. He works full time. Goes to the Academy 6 days a week. I see him only on Sunday and not even really then. He is doing homework, or typing notes, or whatever for school. I have been as supportive as I possibly can. No sleep. He's constantly passing out on the couch during typing notes. (He just falls asleep. One second saying something the next thing he's sleeping.) I get up at 5 a.m. He's usually just getting to bed. You guys know what its like to be in the Academy. We have a lot riding on this. If you were in his shoes, what kind of support would you need? How can I help him get through the next 3 weeks and then the major state test thing? Thanks for your help. The Wife.

[Piggy]

If he doesn't sleep and take care of himself, he won't be able to pass the physical test. Especially if he has to shave off 2.5 minutes. What kind of time frame and distance are we talking?

As far as support, do anything you can to give him extra time, even if it means picking out his clothes for the next day. If he is practicing running, go with him. If you can't keep up, drive behind him and threaten to run him over if he doesn't hurry up.

[Encourager]

He has to run like 1.5 miles in about 11-12 minutes or something like that. His lungs give out on him. I know it's the smoking. We have been trying to quit for a few months now. He is down to 1 a day plus the patch. I don't let him do anything around here. Not even the bills I have taken that over too. (one month he forgot he paid the mortgage and paid it 3 times!!! That kinda hurt us.) I digress. He isn't sleeping because of all the work he's got to do. They have to type all of their notes from class and turn them in the first week of June. We are up to 4 three inch binders of notes. Its almost impossible for him to keep up on that. I have been half tempted to type some for him but that would be like cheating. I tell him to come to bed when he starts getting sleepy but I have to go to bed before him and he usually passes out not long before that. He really wants this. I have never seen him work so hard at something before. His family isn't helping anything either. They without realize it make him feel guilty for not attending family get togethers. I just wish he had more time.

[Piggy]

Yeah, the smoking thing is definately not helping. It will also may hurt him a bit when he gets to the job market. A few agencies out there have a no smoking policy, I think it was discussed on a previous thread.

[BJJVad]

Sounds like you are doing well already. Continue to be supportive. After a long day, don't start dumping stuff on him when he comes through the door. Let him come in the house, kick his shoes off, lay down, whatever it is he does to unwind.

[Encourager]

I will have to look that up. You will have to excuse me. This is my first time on here. I just want this for him. A great career. Something you can hang your hat on you know? He has taken one PD test so far. That didn't turn out so well. But it WAS his first test. Too bad it was for the PD we wanted to be in. The moving thing scares me. If he gets on with a PD that has residency restrictions I don't know if we could sell our home. I guess he is not the only one with a problem huh? Enough about me. Do you have any suggestions for helping with the shaving time off? He can't lose much more weight. He's already lost like 35 pounds while in the academy. Besides the smoking, sleeping, weight, things is there anything else you can think of? Or any other way you would want to be supported in this situation besides what was suggested already?

[BJJVad]

Diet helps with energy levels, along with good sleep.

Recommend some brain & energy food in the morning. Oatmeal (low sugar Oatmeal), banana, maybe a protein shake. Nothing to heavy to hold him down. Some power bars to keep his energy levels up through the day. Most Academy's allow for breaks, where he can sneak a power bar.

Light weight carbs, butter noodles, chicken and vegetables for lunch. Green vegetables are a huge +. Lots of water, some gatoraide to replace lost electrolytes after cardio workouts or runs.

[cntryboy0531]

He needs to rest. While I was not responsible for a family, just myself, I was in "similar" shoes when I went through the academy. Worked two and three jobs at night, went to the academy during the day. While I dropped weight in the academy, my running only improved slightly, and my situps and pushups became worse due to physical injury from not resting. I have back problems to this day as a result of some of the things I did. I'm only 22 by the way.

Encourage him to rest. I made the mistake of attending most of my days in the academy with only 1.5 hours of sleep. It will help him retain things from class, and allow him to get into shape. Do not repeat my mistake.

[ChesCopPodz]

Have you given consideration to moving to another state? If you are willing to move there are tons of places that pay him during the academy so he can focus on the academy instead of worrying about working full time as well.

[MP_Steve]

I had never even heard of paying your own way through the academy until I came onto this site. Apparently in some places it's the norm.

[maz]

Sounds like your doing a great job but I agree with everyone else, when it comes to him being so tired he falls asleep in mid-sentence enough is enough. Books go away and he gets some much needed rest. Just resting will help him in running. If his body isn't given time to rest and repair muscle then its only going to get worse. Listen I understand what your saying about typing his notes is kinda cheating but lets face it, if he wrote the notes what would it hurt to type them for him? That is, if he doesn't mind. He's putting in a lot of effort and so are you but maybe this weekend you tell him to set out his notes for you on saturday night and on sunday he sleeps without an alarm and you type his notes for him, that would probably help him so much. He needs rest, without going into an anatomy and physiology lesson your muscles tear very slightly and then heal when you sleep, its how our muscles get stronger, harder, and bigger. Of course proper nutrition goes along with this also. It takes approx. 6 hours of sleep for your body to fully repair the muscles in your body that you "damamged" all day. If he's not getting enough sleep, his muscles aren't repairing themselves, his muscles will stay loose hence not get any stronger etc. eventually he will go through a total body shutdown if he doesn't get rest. As far as better lung capacity he needs to practice. Sprints always helps. Also you should always train for longer than what you actually need to do. For example, if he has to run 1.5 miles he should be running at least 3 miles a day. Its the only way he'll improve his 1.5 mile time. He also needs to incorporate sprints into this. Maybe 1/4 mile of sprinting as fast as he can then a 1/4 mile of smooth running, 1/4 mile sprinting etc. Sprints is usually the only way of imporving speed and stamina. Hope this helps some! Keep up the good work! yourself and your husband!

[ChesCopPodz]

I had never even heard of paying your own way through the academy until I came onto this site. Apparently in some places it's the norm.

Pennsylvania is like that in most places, especially the western half. Maybe 1 out of 20 departments in western PA pay you during the academy. The rest require that you put yourself through. It's why I'm down here in Virginia instead of up in PA where my family is.