ex boyfriend asking for money

[Yunjae]

hi i'm new here and i'm having a big problem. so i used to date this guy who was really emotional and suicidal and i guess a little bit weird in the head. i couldn't handle dating him so i broke up with him and then he said he still wanted to be friends. i tried at least twice. he still talked about how he liked me and he would constantly give me gifts. it was my fault for taking them too but he was pretty pushy too.

when we were still friends i had a problem with another ex boyfriend who borrowed about $360 from me and my mom and never returned it. i always talked about how stressed out about it i was. and so i decided to sell some things to at least pay my mother back. i had an expensive bag that was $160 that was a present from that ex so i wanted to sell it on ebay. so the then friend/current ex said he would sell it for me on his online store along with some other stuff i wanted to sell. after a few days i would ask about how the bag was selling and he would say it wasn't selling yet but then eventually he said that someone was bidding on it. after a few weeks he told me the item sold for $195 but that he would give me $360 because he wanted me to forget about the other ex. i refused at first but then he convinced me by telling me that he technically bought all of the other stuff that i had given him too. with this i agreed and took the money.

after a few days he continued to shower me with at least one gift a day. he would always say things that made me feel uncomfortable too like hinting that he still liked me etc. i decided i couldn't be his friend anymore and broke off the friendship. it wasn't a clean ending but i decided it was better for him to hate me. he deletes me from myspace but later on he shows up at a club that me and some friends attended for a special event in which my favorite models are attending. i had posted it on my myspace and i freak out because he seems like a stalker. that night i go home and check my blog subscribers and find him as a reader. i block him and make my myspace private. he stops showing up at events. but i do see him again at a convention that i had said i was going to when we were friends.

3 months later he starts talking to my sister and tries to become friends again. however he trash talks her boyfriend and says he'll bring proof that he's cheating etc. he then comes to our home and talks to my father about the money he gave me and hints that he wants it back. he never sold the bag and had lied to me to make me happy. the next day he calls my dad again and talks about the money. my friends say i shouldn't pay him back because it's not my fault. yesterday his father came to my work place asking for the money. he told me he would come back again to my work next week. and he involved my coworkers.

his reason for wanting the money back is because i no longer wanted to be his friend and what's the point of keeping money from someone that i feel is a jerk. he said that as a friend he gave me the money but then afterwards i went and stopped being his friend. i obviously couldn't be friends with him after all of the other things he did. I also didn't know i was being lied to about the sold item so it's not like i took money from him that wasn't mine. he had told me that the bag sold and that he was buying my other stuff. so i'm not quite sure if his reasoning is good.
i guess my question is....what do you think i should do?

[Taxx]

I would get a restraining order if I were you. The money thing is a civi issue. If he gave you the money (I'm sure his story will be different) then it is your money. However, if there is a disagreement about how you got the money then he will have to sue you in small claims court (ie, Judge Judy).

It's amazing how much this guy shows up in yours, your family's and your employer's life. You should probably tell him he is not welcome at these locations. I am actually surprised your family allows it.

Take a stand and end the relationship (friends or whatever). Don't flip flop, don't engage in conversation, don't be a good listener for him, don't accept any gifts, help or advice from him. Be done with it.

Also, get rid of any means of him being able to cyber stalk you. Change your email address, get rid of your Myspace page (don't get me started on Myspace), and don't blog anywhere where he knows your username. Also, when you do blog, don't use information that people can use to find out who you are; age, name, address, school you attend, where you work, what you do, type of car, ect.

[Yunjae]

what do you think will happen if i decide to not pay him then?

[txinvestigator1]

Be glad Taxx had the patience to read that mess. It is one convoluted POS. Try redoing it with paragraphs, capitalization and some logical flow. You will get more responses.

[mcsap]

If your dad would STOP TALKING to him...he might get a hint ??????

[Yunjae]

yea thank you. i'm so sorry i just typed out my story so fast because i was desperate for advice that i didn't think about how long it would come out.

how do i get a restraining order from this ex and his father?

[Yunjae]

my dad doesn't want to talk to him. my ex just came to our house and he called us. the number he called us with wasn't with his name so we picked up the phone. he seemed to have used a blocked number that wouldn't come up on our id caller. i didn't expect it to be him. it also didn't sound like him and he was asking for my father really politely as if he didn't know me. i assumed it was my father's coworker. after listening to my father talk on the phone though...i knew it was my ex. he doesn't listen when we say we don't want to talk. he's been like this ever since i met him. whenever i had a fight with him he would try to talk to me for hours and not listen to me. the same with phone conversations. he goes on and on and doesn't let me hang up.

[mcsap]

Send ex bf and dad a certified letter telling them to leave you alone. You want no further contact with them in any manner including but not limited to personal contact, phone, email , etc. And this includes your place of work. If they have a belief that you are indebted to them for an amount of money, they wil have to seek legal recourse ( meaning lawsuit) to try to get it back.

You can do such a letter, send them a copy via certfied mail a reg mail copy to your local PD with an explanation and you keep the original.

OR

You can give him some or all of the money back provided he returns some or all of the personal property that he was going to sell for you just to be done with him.

The bottom line is.....that how much is your peace and tranquility worth to you ?

You probably can some sort of restraining order against the son but nt the dad. BUt that varies by state. Contact your local police for information.

[Yunjae]

ok thank you so much for all of the replies. i have sent him an email asking him what his plans are if i do not pay him back. if he says that he wants to go to court then i will pay him some of the money back because i find it pointless to go to court. i have also told him to stay away or i will contact local authorities.

[Taxx]

ok thank you so much for all of the replies. i have sent him an email asking him what his plans are if i do not pay him back. if he says that he wants to go to court then i will pay him some of the money back because i find it pointless to go to court. i have also told him to stay away or i will contact local authorities.

Ugghhhh......You just sent him an email, which solicits a response by him. It is plain to me that you don't mind engaging in conversation with this person. If you were truly trying to avoid contact with this person, then no more contact would be needed. You either would get a summons to court or you would call the police (because you got the restraining order). You cannot continue to keep the lines of communication open.

Someone asked how important is peace and tranquility to you? It seems not very important. Based on what you told us, he doesn't deserve the opportunity to explain himself to you.