Will my detective be mad at me?

[lisbeth]

I was the victim of an aggrav. sexual assault a month ago and now I'm thinking I need to stop pursuing the case. I called and left a message with the detective at the Sherriff's office, but I was really nervous about dealing with him and sort of mumbled I think. Anyway, will he try to charge me with something if I refuse to speak of it again? I don't want to make things any worse than they are.

I know what everyone will say, "what about the women he will hurt in the future" and all that but what about me and my girls? I have a 3 and 5 year old that I have to think of in the right here, right now of this life and they are being hurt. They are hurt because their mommy is depressed and withdrawn, or else messed up on some anxiety pill the doctor gave me. And most of it has to do with the "what if's" like "what if they catch him? he knows where I live" and "if it comes to trial, what if I have to speak about it in his presence?" I just can't do these things, sorry. Too emotionally frightened of this man and unable to get counseling (we make too much to get it for free and make too little to afford a $30 copay twice a week).

So my question is, in a roundabout way I guess (sorry if I rambled), will I wind up in jail for refusing to cooperate any further? Thanks for your replies.

[Citicop]

I was the victim of an aggrav. sexual assault a month ago and now I'm thinking I need to stop pursuing the case. I called and left a message with the detective at the Sherriff's office, but I was really nervous about dealing with him and sort of mumbled I think. Anyway, will he try to charge me with something if I refuse to speak of it again? I don't want to make things any worse than they are.

I know what everyone will say, "what about the women he will hurt in the future" and all that but what about me and my girls? I have a 3 and 5 year old that I have to think of in the right here, right now of this life and they are being hurt. They are hurt because their mommy is depressed and withdrawn, or else messed up on some anxiety pill the doctor gave me. And most of it has to do with the "what if's" like "what if they catch him? he knows where I live" and "if it comes to trial, what if I have to speak about it in his presence?" I just can't do these things, sorry. Too emotionally frightened of this man and unable to get counseling (we make too much to get it for free and make too little to afford a $30 copay twice a week).

So my question is, in a roundabout way I guess (sorry if I rambled), will I wind up in jail for refusing to cooperate any further? Thanks for your replies.

Absolutely not.

As a police officer, I clearly want to bust the bad guy, but if you don't want to press charges, I wouldn't berate you or be angry at you for it. That is an extremely personal decision that you have to make on your own. If I were the investigator, I would urge you to reconsider, and let you make the decision.

A couple of side notes:

1.) Testifying at trial is a possibility, but don't get too worked up over it. Many cases get plead out without going to trial, and Sexual Assault cases are good in many cases in having DNA evidence, which speaks louder than a victim's memory in many cases. Juries LOVE science.

2.) Check with your local Prosecutor's office. The State may be able to help you obtain counseling through a Victim's Assistance program of some kind. If not, there are plenty of Rape Crisis Centers and hotlines that can arrange free counseling for you. Many of them have been there before, and will understand the situation MUCH better than I can.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

Citicop.

[phantasm]

If someone doesn't want to cooperate with me, thats fine. I'll do what I have to do as far as the way of paperwork (which may or may not be taking a report, depending on the crime), and just close it out to patrol if there's no further info, so that it won't remain "unsolved" as an open case.

[lisbeth]

thanks guys, I appreciate the time and effort. I'm glad to know I won't get into trouble. Thanks for the offering of help Citicop, but I've already tried the counseling thing, it's not for me obviously since after 14 inquiries about it, I've had 0 responses. But that's okay, keeping my mouth shut works too, no one wants to hear it anyway lol.

[acreature]

Your 3 and 5 year old would be exactly what I would be thinking of if it were my case.

Kids are innocent and are at the mercy of the adult decisions. Protecting them would be the priority.

After all, "he" knows where you ( and your children) live.

[lisbeth]

no acreature, not yet, the labwork isn't back yet

[acreature]

no acreature, not yet, the labwork isn't back yet

I'm sorry for what I may or may not type. I mean no disrespect, after all it's your decision.......

BUT, it's seen and investigated everyday; The ones that people are "afraid" of are the ones that continue.

Instead of thinking about "the (other) women he may hurt", think of your children possibly being the victims of the same crime. Someone has to stop what has happened (or possibly still happening).

A lot of Investigators become attached to crimes they are investigating also, and they suffer the stresses of the unsolved or refusal of cooperation too. Putting a lot of time and effort into helping, only to have that help pushed aside.

‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men (and Women) do nothing’ -Edmund Burke

[drummer-eman]

Immeidately after reading my reply, get in touch with the local Crime victims board or the Domestic abuse section and get some help. ASAP.

Call the P.D.s sex crimes unit and ask for a number for counseling.
Talk to a therapist or someone...
And testify, it might help you feel better and get back on track.
He stole something from you and it might help 'return' it
Good luck

[lisbeth]

That's sort of the reason why I've given up on getting help, drummer-eman, because I DID call all of those places, 14 of them in fact, and was told either I make too much to get the free help, or because I have really good medical insurance I don't qualify. Problem is, I can't afford even the $30 copay a week to go to a regular therapist.

So I'm stuck. I gave it a good try, but all I want to do is sleep, not sit on the phone and fight for help. I know, I'm useless, but I wanted at least someone to know that I did try. But now, I quit.

[acreature]

Wow :eek:

It all came down to money. Sad.

I am confident, with research, there are Female Assist Programs/Groups that could be found for assistance.

[Piggy]

A former Prosecutor in our area didn't give the victim a choice. I can see his way too. With all the time and effort wrapped up in dispatch, police response, taking statements, filing court documents, going before judges, defense attorneys, court appearances, Officers called in on their day off and then the victim changes their mind. He didn't give them the choice after all that, also to ensure it wasn't a case of intimidation. He wouldn't hesitate to prosecute an uncooperative victim.

[ChesCopPodz]

If he's spent a month working the case and you suddenly decide to not go any further, will it make him mad? yeah, it will make him mad at the waste of time he's put in on the case so far.

Will you end up in jail for it? No. Will he yell at you or berate you? No. He'll just get over it, close the case and move on to the next one.

[lisbeth]

Look, I can see I'm not welcome here either, but thanks for taking the time anyway.

[mcsap]

Your desire to " withdraw" would have to be approved by the DA in such a serious case.

And you can be compelled to testify in PA.

[Cat_Doc]

Look, I can see I'm not welcome here either, but thanks for taking the time anyway.

I suggest you search your heart, mind and soul for the answer to what is the right thing to do.

If you are satisfied with letting this scourge of society walk free to victimize again, if you can live with the decision to allow financial inconvenience to override civic duty, then by all means, refuse to cooperate while our justice system attempts to hold this sexual predator accountable for his monstrous activity.

But, if you later see in the news that this scum of the earth raped and murdered another innocent victim when he could have been rotting where he belongs, I would not suggest coming in here seeking pity on how this is affecting your conscience.