What if............

[Big Sexy]

What if I,

smoked weed or crack, sniffed cocaine, shot up heroin,
flashed people in the park, store, movies, malls, street
beat my wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, brother, father, cousin
frequent prostitutes, hookers, whores, jezebels, harlots, hoes
wet my bed, masturbate excessively, am a slave in an S&M club
had my license suspended, drive dui, drive and never had license
can't read & write, walk or talk, walk & chew gum at same time
have two left feet, am all thumbs, blind in both eye, deaf in both
ears, got a hump back, have horse teeth, wear a toupee
stole cars, trucks, bikes, t.v's, radios, clothes, shoes,
batteries, pharmaceutical drugs, food stuffs, books (just kidding
thing, you know I can't read and or write)
smuggled drugs, cars, people, terrorists, diamonds, gold
worked as a prostitute, harlot, hooker, *****, call girl, jezebel,
hoe, skank, skeezer, chickenhead, hooka,
killed small animals, killed hitchhikers, killed a song by my lack
singing ability or a pair of shoes due to my inability to dance

Can I still become a police officer/sheriffs deputy/state trooper/federal
agent? Any help in this matter will be whole-hardly appreciated. :D


We haven't had one of these questions in a while and I know how much you guys enjoy them. So, I thought I'd ask my own.

[Darin]

yes no no no no no no no no no no no maybe yes no no no no hell no yes yes no no no what were you thinking no no yes yes no no no you sick bastard no yes



Thank you and come again ;)

[FSCF3801]

This is what my reply would be.... ;)

[Curt581]

What if I,

smoked weed or crack, sniffed cocaine, shot up heroin,
flashed people in the park, store, movies, malls, street
beat my wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, brother, father, cousin
frequent prostitutes, hookers, whores, jezebels, harlots, hoes
wet my bed, masturbate excessively, am a slave in an S&M club
had my license suspended, drive dui, drive and never had license
can't read & write, walk or talk, walk & chew gum at same time
have two left feet, am all thumbs, blind in both eye, deaf in both
ears, got a hump back, have horse teeth, wear a toupee
stole cars, trucks, bikes, t.v's, radios, clothes, shoes,
batteries, pharmaceutical drugs, food stuffs, books (just kidding
thing, you know I can't read and or write)
smuggled drugs, cars, people, terrorists, diamonds, gold
worked as a prostitute, harlot, hooker, *****, call girl, jezebel,
hoe, skank, skeezer, chickenhead, hooka,
killed small animals, killed hitchhikers, killed a song by my lack
singing ability or a pair of shoes due to my inability to dance

Can I still become a police officer/sheriffs deputy/state trooper/federal
agent?

I know of several departments where you'd qualify for a Command Staff position. Especially the bedwetting/toupe/masturbation/torture small animals stuff.

[Joeyd6]

You probably won't get hired by most police departments, but you can always try the Federal Air Marshals.

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Big Sexy]

You probably won't get hired by most police departments, but you can always try the Federal Air Marshals.

True, they are a step up from the Park Police. Which in and of itself is a new kinda low that even us can't sing, can't dance, toupee wearing, 12 sandwich eating, blind in one eye can't see out the other, lying, cheating, stealing, begging, doping, burping, farting, slobbering police potentials wouldn't try to join. :D

[Frogdiver]

Thwaaack!:d

[chewy]

I would say you sound like a few of my close friends...do I know you?? :p

[Clint]

"OUCH" that hurt!!! Can I have sheet for the sucking chest wound.

[Kimble]

yes no no no no no no no no no no no maybe yes no no no no hell no yes yes no no no what were you thinking no no yes yes no no no you sick bastard no yes



Thank you and come again ;)

Ditto :D

[TheDoghandler]

You probably won't get hired by most police departments, but you can always try the Federal Air Marshals.

Glad to see you said MOST police departments, there are 1 or 2 about that might consider this on a CV. :D

[Terminator]

True, they are a step up from the Park Police. Which in and of itself is a new kinda low that even us can't sing, can't dance, toupee wearing, 12 sandwich eating, blind in one eye can't see out the other, lying, cheating, stealing, begging, doping, burping, farting, slobbering police potentials wouldn't try to join. :D

Damn Big, that was harsh....but funny.

[Toeknee112]

Wasn't this an episode of that Law and Order: CSI: SUV: Topeka: NCAA: NYPD 911 show?

[Johninaustin]

You forgot about lying on your taxes.:D

[lepdford]

Lmao!!!