The LOOK

[Soleil_nuage]

I come from a place in Africa where the lines between the criminals and police are blurred. Really, there are no lines. The police could be the robbers, and often roamed the streets as gangs of armed, uniformed thugs. The police often would pull people over on the road from the airport and rob them, knowing that these travelers came from abroad, and had expensive goods and lots of cash. As for the “criminals” in jail, they could really be bad guys. More likely, they were there for their political beliefs/activities, or for inappropriate remarks about the President of the country.

Now, I have been here in the U.S. for some time. I have never been exposed to police officers on any level. I have heard all the gripes about the police harassing minorities, and all that. And then there are the TV shows and movies. Whenever there is a police officer nearby, I always seemed to retreat, almost mechanically and subconsciously, without much thought.

In my apartment building, a police man lives there. His squad car is in the parking lot. One day, as I was approaching the elevator, I saw him. At first, I didn’t realize that it was him, the officer. He was in his workout clothes. He held the door open until I got in and then pressed 5 for my floor. I thought, “What an absolute gentleman!”. Then I noticed his jacket with the police department insignia, and what looked like his equipment belt. As the realization was dawning, I noticed the Look from him. With his dark blue eyes, he gave me a long, deep stare from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, and through me, not missing a detail. Like an X-ray scan. The Look. It was a mixture of deep, deep suspicion, distrust, fear, and curiosity. I thought in amazement, “He thinks that I am going to hurt him! Why???”. I tried to diffuse the slight tension with some humor. He laughed but the Look, the expression was still there.

I was offended by the look and yet intrigued by it. Offended because I wondered if I looked like a criminal. It couldn’t be. Yes, I am a black female, but I was wearing a business suit, coming home from work. Now, I was intrigued. I had to know what could cause such a Look of outer weariness.

I started to do research on the Net, and discovered police fora with Ask as a Cop. And so I ask. Where does this Look come from? What could be causing it? Is it just him and his bad experiences with people? Or are cops like this with the non-cop public? Is it difficult to tell apart the criminals or criminally-minded from the rest? What can I do to reach out?

[txinvestigator1]

The "look" was not fear or distrust at all. It was simply the way police officers learn to observe people.

You were offended, yet you said he held the door for you AND pushed your floor button.

There is no "reaching out" you need to do. He does not think you are a criminal, he just has developed the habit of examining his surroundings very well.

[K-9MALY]

First off, welcome to our board. Secondly, you are experiencing different culture mores from Africa. The police here are not going to be robbing you or physically hurting you without provocation and/or a criminal act. Had this officer been out of uniform in his street clothes and you did not know that he was a policeman, you would have more than likely still gotten his "look."
People are sized up and noticed by police whether on duty or off all the time. It is what we do consciously or not, due to our professions. This bugs the crap outta my wife, since there is never just a normal outing without me not having my head on swivel. Don't be too quick to throw out your race card in this situation. The fact that you and he are interacting while he is in uniform, and in an enclosed space merits that he focus attention on you. Female or not, he didn't know you, and you could pose a threat to him. Police officers in uniform make great targets to people, and there are gang members who cannot join the gang until they have proven themselves in intitiation acts of violence against us.

I was offended by the look and yet intrigued by it. Offended because I wondered if I looked like a criminal. It couldn’t be. Yes, I am a black female, but I was wearing a business suit, coming home from work. Now, I was intrigued. I had to know what could cause such a Look of outer weariness.

You show me the picture composite of a criminal and what they dress like, and I will submit you for the Nobel Peace Prize for charitable works to humanity.
Now tell me, in your country, would you be offended if a Policeman just looked at you in the same situation, or just relieved he didn't beat you up and rob you. Your testimony of your countrys police actions is why I use the example.

[Drew27k9]

Couldn't have said it any better than Txinvestigator1. I look at everyone like that unless I know them.

[samseed101]

I'm sure it was nothing personal. After awhile, you just learn to be extra cautious. Anyone can be a criminal and anyone can attack you, no matter how you are dressed or how you act.

[sbrad]

He was probably just checking you out.
Are you a hottie?

[Soleil_nuage]

Thanks for the responses. K-9 Maly, thank you for the warm welcome.

Perhaps "offended" is too strong of a word. I should have used the word unsettled. In any case, the feeling didn't last long. I am not that sensitive. I got curious about the Look, which is how I ended up on this website.

It is interesting reading in your responses that this stare is typical for police on and off duty. How do people normally respond to such looks? How do you then connect with people after having stared them down like that? I am not judging or criticizing, just curious again.

It must be difficult to go through life, with such constant vigilance and guardedness. Occupational hazard, I suppose. This police man was on his home turf, and should have felt at ease. I guess I am being naive.

The irony of the situation was not lost on me. The look I gave him his eyes mirrored back to me.

K-9 Maly, I guess I did plop down the race card and implyed some racial profiling. I have learned that this is a very complicated and emotional subject here. My feelings about it are not what you'd expect. I'll save this topic for another day.

I am shocked to learn that uniformed police are used as target practice in some quarters! Seems suicidal to me.

And finally, to Sbrad... aie, aie, aie... how to respond?

[R1364]

my wife doesnt like that when we go out im always looking at people coming and going. She knows that im looking to see if billy bob has a gun in his waistband or if slim isnt dressed right (coat when its 90 degrees) or if timmy is overly nervous, and it makes her uneasy.

It isnt hard to go through life that way, it kinda becomes second nature. even in the safest of cities theres always the chance of someone trying to kill you. when we put on the uniform we become targets. there are bad people who dont want to go to jail or who just dont like the law/s. Its unfortunate that we have to stay on guard, even often when off duty, but its a part of the job/life style.

[Rad Diver]

There has been 2 times in the last few months where I've been able to let my guard down a little. 1. at bachelor party a secured facility with nothing but leo's 2. at a wedding with 200 + leo's.

Otherwise, over the last 2 years I have put over 400 persons in jail and have written just as many traffic citations. That is a lot of people who don't like me and I have to protect my family when out and about. I am always checking my surroundings and my 6.

When we are off-duty, mentally we are still on-duty!

[sbrad]

And finally, to Sbrad... aie, aie, aie... how to respond?

With a picture, of course! :D

[mcsap]

A cop is never truly off duty. We can make some rather problematic enemies simply by doing our jobs yet our lives and our families lives and property gets threatened. Being "ever vigilant" is just something we are accustomed to. I watch people , cars etc. especially people in close prximity to me. I am not paranoid of being attacked mind you , just observant to the point of staying one notch up on being aware of my surroundings compared to the average citizen.

And welcome to RP.

[ChesCopPodz]

Just some observations from your post. You said that you retreat in fear from police and you also said you made a sudden realization that he was a police officer. More than likely, when you made this observation, you made a movement, or a facial expression that the officer noticed as alarm or nervousness on your part. I can only speak for myself, but whenever someone near me starts to show fear or nervousness, usually that means that they have a reason that they are nervous around a police officer and I gather in every detail about them and watch them very well.

[Ghost 1]

And finally, to Sbrad... aie, aie, aie... how to respond?

Be careful.....Brad is a ladies man. We don't call him "Big Pimp" for nothing. :D

[TPDHellhound]

First of all, welcome to RP. Secondly, the answer may be clearer than you first thought. You stated in your post:

Then I noticed his jacket with the police department insignia, and what looked like his equipment belt. As the realization was dawning, I noticed the Look from him.

As was said earlier in the post, police officers are very observant people. Where most people in an elevator will stare obliviously at the numbers above the elevator doors, police officers are trained to watch the people around them. He probably saw you staring at his jacket and duty belt. Since this is unusual (because you weren't staring at the numbers), he was equally as curious about you.

I assure you that if you were dressed in business attire, he was not thinking you were a criminal. Very few people successfully rob people and flee on heels! :D

If you really want to know the truth, say hi to him.