letter to my bi

[ak0911]

i am currently in background with a state agency. bakkgroung is clear other then credit i owe less then 1,000 total. my bi wanted me to write a summary of my credit history. could smoebody please read and let me know what you think before i submit it. thank you in advance.


To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Sir or Madam:

My name is ------ I am applying to become a Highway Patrol Cadet in the state of ------. I am currently employed as a juvenile corrections officer in ------- County California. My current position requires me to rotate schedules every four months. This has put my wife in a compromising position as far as her employment. We have a two year old daughter; as a result my wife must change jobs every four months to accommodate my schedule, and provide care for our daughter. We both agree that we do not want to put her in day care.
My wife had a problem finding a job approximately eight months ago. It took her longer then expected. This resulted in my paycheck being our sole source of income for approximately two to three months. During this time we fell behind on all of our bills. It reached the point to where I had to do what I felt was right for my family. This meant only paying the “necessary” bills. These included electricity, phone, heat, rent, car, and insurance.
As a result two of my credit accounts were sent to collections (Capital One and Structure), and one became delinquent (MBNA). I have set up a payment schedule with MBNA and have made payments on 10/26/2004, and 11/25/2004. Furthermore I have been in contact with the collection agencies from the above mentioned accounts and am planning to pay them off in full by 12/10/2004.
This letter is not meant to excuse my inability to fulfill my financial obligations rather it is to provide my plan of action as I am going through the background process. Along with my intense passion for becoming a highway patrol officer I am looking for a job that will provide my family with an income that will allow my wife to be a stay at home mother and alleviate the stress that shift work can put on a family. Thank you in advance for viewing this document.

Respectfully Submitted,

[Deputy12]

I think it reads very well, and is a good explanation of the credit problems. I hope they like it.
BTW I applaud you wishing to have a stay at home mom. Personally, it has been great for us, allthough we have to be carefull with the money. Well worth it in my opinion.
Good luck.

[ak0911]

thank you deputy 12. i am currently working at juvenile hall. I see the results of having no parents at home on a daily basis.

[lindat2957]

AK,
The only sentence I would reword is in ref to shift work. I don't know what you were trying to say, but my interpertation is that you are trying to get away from shift work and CHP would do that....If you are trying to say something else, I would reword it. Simply because, Just like corrections CHP also has shift work and shift changes. If there is something beneficial to the way they do theirs, I would be specific about it so as not to raise the eyebrows of the reader...otherwise your letter does well to explain that you had some problems but are taking responsibility for them. Good Luck!

[Old Trooper]

It looks good to me also, with that minor change that lindat suggested. Good luck!

[ak0911]

Thank you for reading it. I do not mind the shift work involved in LE, actually I like it. It is like getting a new job every 4 months as no two shifts are the same. What I ment was my family and I will not have to worrie about what shift I might end up on if my wife is at home.

[lindat2957]

Thank you for reading it. I do not mind the shift work involved in LE, actually I like it. It is like getting a new job every 4 months as no two shifts are the same. What I ment was my family and I will not have to worrie about what shift I might end up on if my wife is at home.

That is great! I would either re word your letter somehow or take that sentence out. I don't think that your reasoning is poor, only giving you input on how I would interpret it if I read the letter the way it is.