Reconsidering

[anxious_mom]

Last night I was searching the internet trying to find answers about Marijuana laws in Michigan, because I was concerned about what to expect to happen to my son, due to some trouble he got himself into .
I was bombarded with attacks about my parenting methods, morals and the like.
Many of the things that were said, were uncalled for, and they were said by people that had no knowledge of what they were making their judgments on, nor did they bother to ask any questions ( not that it would be anyones business) about the things they decided to sit in judgement of Me, my son and my parenting for.
I became irritated with the audacity of people that feel they can make generalizations about people, based on things they see in our society. Understand that we are not all from the same mold in life, therefore the same glove will not fit everyone.
Anyway, Im not trying to re-open this topic, so I would appreciate if all can refrain from launching more of the same type of attacks and insults. I take great pride in my parenting and have good reason to feel as I do.
Im posting this message today, because I made a remark last night about losing respect for cops, and I would like to take back what I said.
Although I dont have alot of respect for some of what I seen here last night, I will always give each individual the respect of his /her individuality, and not make generalizations about cops, based on the pig headed , knowitall , bullying tactics that some employ.
I realize that I did the very same thing in making that comment about "losing respect for cops" as the "cops"?? that were on here last night doing to me and my son .
More power to all good cops that dont abuse their authority , and have respect for others .. May you always be safe, and receive your just rewards for all you do, and the risks you take for others. Much respect, and my apologies if I offended anyone with that careless remark.
To the others, no hard feelings. Were all only human.

I was looking this site over a little more, its pretty nice.

[acreature]

No disrespect, but this coming from endless contact with parents of arrestees, all of the time, who only blame society, the cops, other kids, etc etc......

Leave your child to his own devices. Don't try to help anymore. He's on "strike three" so to speak, and he needs to grow up without help from his mother. He will never truly mature when you are helping him with his childish mistakes, or as I like to call it, Illegal Action.

I am confident in you wanting help him is the unconditional love that any parent has for their children, but there is a time to let them be, and let them grow up.

[anxious_mom]

No offense taken.. However I never blamed anyone for my sons behavoir. Nor do I plan to help him out of this situation. Im afraid though yes. I dont want him to be hurt, and I know our system does not protect prisoners from rape and other violent attacks.
He does have to learn from his own mistakes yes.. Its just heartbreaking to think he could pay the price of brutality, rape and possibly a death sentence of AIDS as a result of incarceration for smoking weed.
The punishment does not fit the crime so to speak.
I have no problem with discussion of the topic.. I appreciate your respectful approach.

[samseed101]

I have to second that. All too often, people are quick to place blame elsewhere. And if they can't blame someone / something else then they simply try to find a way to avoid facing the consequences of their actions. If someone is mature enough to make such decisions knowing that it is wrong, then they should be mature enough to stand up and pay for what they did.

But instead, people pass blame and try to beat the system to keep out of trouble. Yet when someone does something to them, all of a sudden it "isn't fair" and "something has to be done".

[acreature]

No offense taken.. However I never blamed anyone for my sons behavoir. Nor do I plan to help him out of this situation..

Do you have any idea how many people accuse Police of illegal searches? Especially parents who were not there. They are on Auto Believe, when their kids tell them something. Which seems to be what you have done in your first post (....without permission...")

If your son gets locked up for weed, it'll probably be in County or City lockup and not a State Pen. If he doesn't get locked, then pray for him, b/c IMHO it will not be the last time. Sorry.

[anxious_mom]

Well you know, I said this before and maybe you didnt see it.. I have never blamed anyone for the choices I myself make, or the choices my kids make..
I will tell you this though .. On one hand we have parents being labled as enablers if they try to help their kid out .. and I agree that at some point that would be true. I know that if I were to help him out this time, I would be guilty of just that, and I know I cant do that this time around.
But the very cop that gave my son the ticket, and the other cops in this town are pretty much doing the same thing.
They gave him the ticket and then told him that if he helps them bust someone else, they will rip the ticket up and he wont have to worry about it.

[acreature]

They gave him the ticket and then told him that if he helps them bust someone else, they will rip the ticket up and he wont have to worry about it.

I do exactley the same thing.... for what I deem to be only drug users.

IMO, it is more important to get the dealers, but without hemming up the users, it is very difficult.

I would much rather arrest a drug dealer, but in order toget them, most of the time, you have to offer the choice.

[JD45]

No offense taken.. However I never blamed anyone for my sons behavoir. Nor do I plan to help him out of this situation. Im afraid though yes. I dont want him to be hurt, and I know our system does not protect prisoners from rape and other violent attacks.
He does have to learn from his own mistakes yes.. Its just heartbreaking to think he could pay the price of brutality, rape and possibly a death sentence of AIDS as a result of incarceration for smoking weed.
The punishment does not fit the crime so to speak.
I have no problem with discussion of the topic.. I appreciate your respectful approach.

What I will say to this is, what you are talking about happens more in state prisions than in county or local jails. I wouldn't sit here and say it never happens in county/local jail, but it is far less likely than in prison.

Even not being from MI, I can pretty much say that he won't be going to prison for that type of offense. Usually criminals are seperated by the type and nature of crime committed. So I find it unlikely that your son would be placed in the same floor/level/pod as murderers, rapists etc.

As long has he behaves inside, he should be OK. It's if he starts acting up with the deputies/corrections officers or causing problems with other inmates then he'll run into trouble.

[anxious_mom]

Yes I added that ( without permission) but that was not intended to blame anyone. I added that as I was typing because I just thought of it again when I was on the topic of searching the car .... that was actually another question I meant to get to.
I know that at one time, searching property was not something that police could just do without asking, or unless something obviously illegal was going on. I dont know the law concerning searching and consent.

[anxious_mom]

Thank you for that input. It does help ..

[acreature]

Yes I added that ( without permission) but that was not intended to blame anyone. I added that as I was typing because I just thought of it again when I was on the topic of searching the car .... that was actually another question I meant to get to.
I know that at one time, searching property was not something that police could just do without asking, or unless something obviously illegal was going on. I dont know the law concerning searching and consent.

The 4th amendment is a tricky one. As such, I live by it.

Consent is easy.... though confusing when you figure "free to leave" issues and such.

Plain View basically is anything that a reasonable officer would observe that would lead him to believe there was something illegal in the car. This includes Plain Smell.

[anxious_mom]

I can see that... but then are the users learning anything?

[acreature]

They learn to quit, keep going to jail, or help. (help and quit can go hand in hand)

Helping doesn't do anything but get them to squeal. But in the long run, they may disassociate themselves due to the guilt of helping. I like it ;)

[anxious_mom]

I have to leave for now .. when I sign off does this thread automatically lock, and cant be re-opened?

[acreature]

it stays